Amusing UPS Stories

[Sammie]

Thought I would share a few amusing UPS stories.

1). When I started working for UPS in Denver in 1975 I did the payroll at night for the package and feeder drivers. A new package driver went AWOL on us; here is his story. He was new of course, and didn't quite understand the initial training.
The first day out, he was told when he left the building NOT TO BRING ANYTHING BACK. This meant of course, to deliver all
of the packages he left with. But his interpretation was different. Two days later he called from three states away. He was delivering the packages he had picked up on that first day and was using his COD money to live on. He called UPS to see if they could wire him more funds so he could finish the job...

2). We heard about a couple of Studley UPS Package Drivers
in Alaska of all places who had a bet going with each other about who could wear shorts the longest when summer was over. Two years later, the bet was still going and neither of them had backed down. (Who is to say those bad boys weren't hiding some brown sweats in that truck when no body
was looking?)

3). A few years back one of the ladies in my office opened a package that was sent to Denver in error. It contained the most enormous set of browns I have ever seen. They were a size gazillion. She and I put on the pants and the shirt; she fit into one pant leg and I fit in the other, and we did our best to
shuffle around without falling down,showing our new outfit off. Wish I had a scanner to show you guys the photos someone took of us wearing that monstrosity. And whoever it was made for could never think about fitting themselves in any kind of UPS vehicle!

Aybody else have some good ones?

 

[Harry Manback]

haha! this is kinda gross but, we had a seasonal hire go "number 2" in the car he was loading on his first day. didnt even get the chance to know his driver before he...well, you know, on him. he was quickly escorted to the guard house. ahh, peak season memories....

 

[more than 30]

Here is one for you,,, As a rookie driver I did my best to deliver the package no matter what the circumstances were. At one house, I knocked on the door about the same time a doberman rounded the corner of the house. The truck was too far away, the people weren't home and I was in a pickle. Lucky for me the door was not locked and I spent the next 45 minutes inside their lovely home.

The said thing about this story is the very next day the same thing happened at a different house.. I got about 20 more minutes with that one...

 

[solitarysiren]

this probably isn't quite as interesting, but twice now there have been hazmat package that, somewhere between the unload and preload, catch on fire and come down the chute in flames. talk about hazmat.
and occasionally people find dead bats in a trailer or something and send it through the sort on top of a package.
and sometimes if we get a shipment of crickets we'll ask someone who's scared of them to 'take this up to...wherever' on account that it's a missort or something and laugh like crazy when they realize that they're holding crickets, shreik and run away.
I've also hidden in the rear door left bulk section of a package car and had the loader call in our full time coordinator to 'look at this package, cuz it has some strange label' he's never seen, etc. as the coordinator walked passed i jumped out and grabbed his leg and he almost went number two in the car, lol.
for halloween, i'd come in in costume and put in some white contacts...that always freaked people out.

 

[cachsux]

When I was a PT I worked in PSC (damage reports,fallouts,reboxes,etc). One night a sup from one of the outbounds came to our area with a dozen boxes that were wet from internal leaking. The group of us all grabbed one and proceeded to open them to rebox when the first one of us in to their box proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs and ran out of the area. We all went over to look at the box which in turn prompted all of us to run. Turns out we had 12 boxes,one to a box,of human heads bound for a medical school from a medical supply house. The bags they were in had rubbed against the box staples and then leaked causing our lucky group to be heavy drinkers for a week or so.

 

[solitarysiren]

When I was a PT I worked in PSC (damage reports,fallouts,reboxes,etc). One night a sup from one of the outbounds came to our area with a dozen boxes that were wet from internal leaking. The group of us all grabbed one and proceeded to open them to rebox when the first one of us in to their box proceeded to scream at the top of her lungs and ran out of the area. We all went over to look at the box which in turn prompted all of us to run. Turns out we had 12 boxes,one to a box,of human heads bound for a medical school from a medical supply house. The bags they were in had rubbed against the box staples and then leaked causing our lucky group to be heavy drinkers for a week or so.

this just made my day! i'm rollin' over here, holy crap! HAHAHA!!! I wish I could have seen that!

the closest we've had that I know about is someone killed a deer and decided to ship the unembalmed carcass to his buddy....by the time it got to our hub it stank, as carcasses do, and was covered in maggots...

 

[Channahon]

Young female sup (25 years ago) giving PCM to group of drivers. Standing on staircase, to make eye to eye contact and ensure I had everyone's attention. Gave 3 minute PCM, drivers went to their package cars. Center Manager pulled me to the side and told me
"You're fly is open" as I was getting ready to OJS driver for the day.

 

[jlphotog]

Not really funny, but I do like to tell this story.

About two weeks after I started driving, I had a bulk delivery to a massage school. I opened the front door and was standing in a foyer. To the left there was a staircase and directly in front of me there were two smoked glass doors. No signs anywhere. I opened one of those doors and was rather shocked and very pleasantly surprised as to what was facing me. There were about 6 half nude females sitting up on different tables.

Very quickly, almost before my eyes could focus, one of the instructors pointed at me, almost in a panic and said "the office is upstairs."

The next day I was back there for another bulk delivery and there was now a sign on those doors stating "Do not enter! Visitors report to office upstairs!"

 

[DS]

years ago we had a pcm about misloads.
Apparently some driver sheeted 20 stops
that way.The sup says,if you find 20 stops
in your car that you dont usually do,
its called a split.They are not misloads.

 

[BLACKBOX]

It was pouring rain this one late summer afternoon. I arrived at this one resi where after knocking and pressing the doorbell I left a door tag and was driving away down the street. While passing a bus stop a lady was flagging me down pointing to the street I just left. I looked in my side mirror and noticed a man running down the street no shirt,no shoes and only a towel wrapped around his waist.

Funny sight watching him walk away soaking wet,only a towel tied loosely around his waist, carrying two cartons..wish I had a camera!

 

[helenofcalifornia]

I heard this one from one of our feeder drivers. At a center in our district a driver attempting to deliver a package to a residence, had to swat at a dog who ran off scared. The owner of the dog is now trying to sue UPS for the expenses of a dog psychologist her dog has to go to because Fido was so traumatized.

 

[Hangingon]

When I first started driving I had one of the old 500's. I managed to lock myself in the back on a nice hot summer day. I finally managed to break the rear lock by kicking it after about 30 mins. Wasn't funny at the time, but the other drivers got a kick out of it when I got back to the center.

 

[sendagain]

I remember hearing about the human heads years ago. I recall the FBI reemed the company on that one, telling them, "Anytime you find a box of human heads, you give us a call."

 

[brownmonster]

As a Greenhorn I was delivering a Speigel pkg and also had a Speigel Call Tag for the same stop. You guessed it, I put the call Tag on the pkg I was delivering and sent it back. What a dope!

 

[satellitedriver]

I locked my keys in the back of an old 600. Keys hanging from my right pinky as per delivery methods. Grabbed the chain, that is what the door handle was, and closed the bulkhead door. The chain caught the keyring and threw it onto the shelf as I heard the door click shut. Those old 600's had a plywood door with about a 3 inch hole cut in them. The keys were on the shelf about 8ft back.
I was a Christmas hire, hoping to get a full time job, and I didn't want any mark against me. So I went into the woods and found a stand of bamboo. Cut down a "fishing pole" with my pocket knife and poked it thru the hole in the bulkhead door. After about 20 minutes,I snagged the key ring. It was at the very end of a long, limber and bouncing bamboo pole. I was trying not to laugh as I tried to slowly extract the pole thru the hole as I watched the keys dangling on the last 1/8th inch of the tip swinging left and right and up and down.
I felt like Houdini when I had those keys in my hand.

 

[ups79]

Why didn't you just reach inside through the 3 inch hole and lift the latch up?

 

[sendagain]

I had a cutoff driver pull the air early one night, forcing me to go drop my air at a hub about 5 miles away. I was travelling up a busy two lane residential street when the shifting handle came off the floor in my hand. After feeling like Oliver Hardy for a couple seconds, I managed to replace the shaft into the whole and continue working. I was driving with one hand on the wheel and one on the shifter until I finished.

 

[dragracer66]

About 3 years ago I ran a road call for a accident involving a set of doubles and 3 other car's. When I got to the truck stop I found our set inside the store and 3 smashed up car's 2 of them being state police car's. When I found the driver he told me he forgot to set the parking brake went inside to get a drink and use the bathroom. He said when he came out he couldn't find his truck so he was getting ready to call 911 to report a stolen vechicle when he saw a group of people at the store, here is where he found his truck. It was one of the craziest thing's I ever saw. He wanted to finish the run after they pulled it out but he was sent back to his building in a taxi and fired and never got his job back....

 

[badpal]

Why didn't you just reach inside through the 3 inch hole and lift the latch up?

Yes that was my thought i miss the old 600s door holes

 

[ups79]

Badpal-it sure was faster just to reach inside that hole at every stop, as opposed to putting that key in the slot. It saved a lot of time until they put that small square piece of plyboard inside the bulk head door.