Marriage.......And the UPS'er

[stevetheupsguy]

what a great story, in more ways than one, If they were still making "Love , American Style" I could easily adapt it into a half hour segment. If they were still making the "Twilight Zone", I would just have to change it a bit to have the kick in the pants ending where you two actually meet ( you turn out to be both aliens living as biological humans planted on the earth but the catch is you're from two different planets that are warring with each other)

That's just plain "BIZARRO".

My wife and I did not just simply get married, we took a vow of marriage.
Through thick or thin.
UPS has not taken any time away from our marriage.
When we were first married, I was working two jobs and they were 20 miles apart and my wife worked 50hrs a week.
Then, I quit those jobs and worked 12hrs a day 6 days a week at one job.
We scrimped and saved ever penny, so we could buy 20 acres in the middle of no where.
We spent all our savings to bring electric lines and drill a water well.
We parked a 52ft mobile home on the land and made it a home.
My wife stayed in Houston and worked because we only had $200.00 left and it was going to be 2 weeks to get my first check from working in the coal mine. I got my first check and she came on up.
I worked 7 day rotating shifts with 1 day off in between shifts and 3 days off after the shift cycle.
My wife worked for a veterinarian (that's a whole thread, nothing like going to a dairy at 9 o'clock at night and palpating cows).
This thread is about marriage and I can address only my own, but I wanted to give a little background to mine.
Helenofcalifornia summed it up well with her analogy of two people walking on the same path going the same direction.
Take today, for example.
I am off this week and my mission was to clean my filthy dirt floor shop/barn out and re organize.
My wife was at my side all day. During a break, I told her that she did not need to be in all this filth and she just smiled at me and said I like to be near you.
So,
UPS has helped us stay on our 20 acres, but it has not taken away from our married life.
Quality over quantity, of time together, has been our secret of 31yrs of marriage.
A one second glance and smile from my wife can erase an 11hr day at UPS.
Two things are true in my life;
If I had not met Lu in 1975, I would have been dead by 1978.
The day I married Lu, I became a man.
UPS is just a means to an end, in my married life.

Wow!

Well said. I was talking to one of the female drivers and she was complaining about how she was having a tough time at home. Seems her hubby had an office job and was home by 5:15 everyday while she was getting home at 7:30-8:00 most days. Seems the guy was upset because she didn't get home early enough to cook dinner and demanded she cook dinner as soon as she walked in the door. She says he calls her 5 times a day wanting to know when she'll be home. She does everything at home while he sits on his *****. Thankfully there's no kids involved because this marriage won't last much longer. I told her to get themselves to a counselor. This guy needs a mommy not a wife. I know at least 12-15 male drivers who go through this daily so this was an eye opener for me to see it happen to a woman. Not that it can't it's just she never brought it to work until now.

And she's in danger of losing the bum she has, for the next bum that comes up and listens to her. Please direct her to a couselor or a female friend. This also reminds me that while I'm off today, I'd better go fold some clothes and get something on the stove.

Its true that the hours can take a toll on our home life if you let it. Its tough to see families eating dinner together at 600 sometimes while I leave them a package.
That isn't my life. This job has it pros and cons, like any job. I would suggest that anyone working for UPS that is having trouble at home decide if they would be better off not working here, what is your priority. You have to deal with it as a team, what do you really want out of life.
As for me, I don't have a college degree, this is the best way I have to provide for my family. Its good money and bennies, nothing better around here, and I actually like my job.
All that aside, the standard at our house is whoever gets home first cooks dinner. We are used to dinner at 800, even the kids. Housework is done as needed, with big cleaning jobs done on the weekend. The world doesn't come to an end if tables aren't cluster free and floor needs mopping. There is a difference between filthy and messy. If it bothers you, hire a housekeeper to come in once a week. It all boils down to a mutual respect and keeping priorities in order. Marrige is "we" not "me". IMO

Ain't that the truth?

I am having a hard time having much sympathy for any of us. Some of us are acting like children with the "poor me" mentality. Feel like I am watching a Oprah show.
How about our present and past troops who go away from their loved ones to fight for our freedom for 12-24 months. Then back for a month just to ship off again to some god forsaken place? How about the families that have both husband and wife working 2 jobs each just to pay rent? Most of you do have 2 full days to spend with the family. For the most part you are home b4 8pm. Some of us work 2 jobs. My better half works on Saturdays. We really only have Sunday, but I won't complain because I am grateful for every minute we spend time together. I am also thankful for the freedom to choose our life, thanks to all the soldiers who have given their lives for our freedom. The same freedom that we are loosing everyday. Kind of hard to listen to all the violins.
I'm just sayin.....

And sir you would be correct.
There really isn't any pity posts on this thread. I have seen them in the past and also hear daily from the drivers on my line complain. Just today I heard these and more "I have to much work"....."why do I have to go to bed Bath and Beyond"...."the doorbell doesn't work at the hardware store and I have to walk to the front to get somebody to open the back door" ......."Where is my truck, this truck is to small"...... I could go on and on. In my defense, I am on the other side where I would love to have those complaints. Instead I am complaining that I don't have enough work.
Trying to figure how I can feed my family for 30$ for the next week. The one driver that complains the most goes out with 11-12 hours worth of work. He runs all day and works thru his lunch. He gets back no later then 5ish. We are in a bonus center. This same driver was happy to show me the first week of April his pay stub. Gross for the first 3 months. 25k and change. Over 100k a year and he is done by 6 at the latest. I would imagine he does even better over peak. Anyway, I guess I am just having a bad day, and the thread kind of poked me where it doesn't feel so good. I just want the economy to get better so i can complain about to many hours, rather then complaining that my family will be eatting beans and rice for the next week.

Been there too, still have the gas to prove it. Dude, take a deep breath, exhale and know that you're doing the right thing for you and the family. At least you're not blowing the money at the track. Whenever you get down in the dumps like this, go stare at the family picture. They won't forget how Dad struggled, but stuck it out for them.

SO WHAT!! Dude, I was a PTer too. May I throw your words back in your face? If you don't like it, look for another, different job. I lost all my seniority and had to start all over again, at the bottom. Life ain't easy. Suck it up. Again, was a fuzzy, warm thread before THE King came stumbling in here. Sorry life is hard for you right now, you are not alone. I hope you get to go driving sooner rather than later. But, sheeeesh!!!

I can't wait to meet you hellen. We're gonna have a blast.

 

[Catatonic]

SO WHAT!! Dude, I was a PTer too. May I throw your words back in your face? If you don't like it, look for another, different job. I lost all my seniority and had to start all over again, at the bottom. Life ain't easy. Suck it up. Again, was a fuzzy, warm thread before THE King came stumbling in here. Sorry life is hard for you right now, you are not alone. I hope you get to go driving sooner rather than later. But, sheeeesh!!!

Damn Helen.
The only thing needed to make this "the whole kitchen sink" is that he should be glad he's got a job!
Sheeez!

 

[dilligaf]

And she's in danger of losing the bum she has, for the next bum that comes up and listens to her. Please direct her to a couselor or a female friend. This also reminds me that while I'm off today, I'd better go fold some clothes and get something on the stove.

You are jumping to conclusions here Steven, without really knowing all the facts. Yes, Slant should be cautious of the situation but to suggest Slant just turn a back to someone without really knowing what's going on is just plain cold. Where is your compassion for your fellow human being, not to mention a sister or brother, which is a term that YOU use frequently. Maybe you should go look in the mirror when you are folding that laundry.

 

[dilligaf]

SO WHAT!! Dude, I was a PTer too. May I throw your words back in your face? If you don't like it, look for another, different job. I lost all my seniority and had to start all over again, at the bottom. Life ain't easy. Suck it up. Again, was a fuzzy, warm thread before THE King came stumbling in here. Sorry life is hard for you right now, you are not alone. I hope you get to go driving sooner rather than later. But, sheeeesh!!!

I liked what you said Helen, made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

You are jumping to conclusions here Steven, without really knowing all the facts. Yes, Slant should be cautious of the situation but to suggest Slant just turn a back to someone without really knowing what's going on is just plain cold. Where is your compassion for your fellow human being, not to mention a sister or brother, which is a term that YOU use frequently. Maybe you should go look in the mirror when you are folding that laundry.

Ha Ha Ha, don't get all helleny on me now, sistah! I'm not concerned for slant. He knows what he's got. I'm more concerned for the female driver, (sister), who is teetering on the brink. Guys will pick up on this in a heartbeat, like blood in a pool of sharks. Just wanted slant to point her in the right direction before it's too late for her. Though I do thank you for the warning letter (post).

 

[dilligaf]

Ha Ha Ha, don't get all helleny on me now, sistah! I'm not concerned for slant. He knows what he's got. I'm more concerned for the female driver, (sister), who is teetering on the brink. Guys will pick up on this in a heartbeat, like blood in a pool of sharks. Just wanted slant to point her in the right direction before it's too late for her. Though I do thank you for the warning letter (post).

HA! It's not the first time I've gotten all 'helleny' (although this may not be very fair to Helen) on you. I call it like I read it. Sometimes I am wrong sometimes I'm not.

Maybe having a sounding board is all that is needed. Hard to say, we weren't there.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

HA! It's not the first time I've gotten all 'helleny' (although this may not be very fair to Helen) on you. I call it like I read it. Sometimes I am wrong sometimes I'm not.

Maybe having a sounding board is all that is needed. Hard to say, we weren't there.

True, but I tend to lean to the side of, SOMEONE CALL A PSYCHIATRIST, QUICK!!! LOL BTW, I think helen likes knowing that we know she's feisty.

 

[pickup]

satellite - that was a heart string tugging story - especially the part about she would rather be with you

King of Chester- I am sorry you are going through hard times, keep your chin up is all I can say.

Stug- nice pic of bizarro, you know who he am.

 

[dilligaf]

True, but I tend to lean to the side of, SOMEONE CALL A PSYCHIATRIST, QUICK!!! LOL BTW, I think helen likes knowing that we know she's feisty.

I am sure of that as well and as do I!

 

[pickup]

I'll throw a twist on the marriage theme - my father is a musician and over the years his other musician friends would invite him for the wedding day. He would get there a few days earlier and hang out with the groom to be and the groom to be would confess that he has cold feet (musician starts seeing he will have to get a real job to support wife and family to come plus he can't travel where the gigs are or play all nighters) My father would then point out no vows have been said yet , you can still get out. Prospective groom replies what will I say?, hall has been rented , guests are already in town,etc. And then my father would essentially quote Paul Simon's fifty ways to leave your lover with the emphasis on "Slip out the back, jack and no need to discuss much" And that's what would happen.

Those television or movie scenarios where you see the bride waiting for the groom with a church full of people wondering what is going on: My father is responsible for 4 such real life scenarios in real life. And he is proud of it. He is sort of an anti-cupid. And before you purists jump on me, jump on my father.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

I'll throw a twist on the marriage theme - my father is a musician and over the years his other musician friends would invite him for the wedding day. He would get there a few days earlier and hang out with the groom to be and the groom to be would confess that he has cold feet (musician starts seeing he will have to get a real job to support wife and family to come plus he can't travel where the gigs are or play all nighters) My father would then point out no vows have been said yet , you can still get out. Prospective groom replies what will I say?, hall has been rented , guests are already in town,etc. And then my father would essentially quote Paul Simon's fifty ways to leave your lover with the emphasis on "Slip out the back, jack and no need to discuss much" And that's what would happen.

Those television or movie scenarios where you see the bride waiting for the groom with a church full of people wondering what is going on: My father is responsible for 4 such real life scenarios in real life. And he is proud of it. He is sort of an anti-cupid. And before you purists jump on me, jump on my father.

Why, he didn't do anything wrong. He just saved a bunch of brides from making mistakes.

 

[dilligaf]

Jump on You? Nah! As hard is it may be or may sound, if they left the bride was probably better off in the end. It's like the pre-nup. If you feel like you need it there probably is a reason for needing it.

It would be far easier to deal with before the wedding then after child #1 or 2 or 3.

 

[jennie]

I started working at UPS because a friend told me about it, so I went, and now like it. Husband really didn't want me working there, but now he brags to people I do I am married 19 years, been working almost 2 years at UPS, I have my down time every day when I get home and everyone is out of the house.

As for the bills now, I used to do them, now we split them and it works for us.
When you have kids, there seems to never be enough money, and try to remember why you got together in the 1st place

 

[pickup]

Jump on You? Nah! As hard is it may be or may sound, if they left the bride was probably better off in the end. It's like the pre-nup. If you feel like you need it there probably is a reason for needing it.

It would be far easier to deal with before the wedding then after child #1 or 2 or 3.

diligraph and stug - your reasoning is correct and that's why I thought he did everyone a favor.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

diligraph and stug - your reasoning is correct and that's why I thought he did everyone a favor.

There's a reason why she is D-I-L-L-I-G-A-friend, and not GRAPH. ask her some time. I did.

 

[pickup]

There's a reason why she is D-I-L-L-I-G-A-friend, and not GRAPH. ask her some time. I did.

oops, simple typo on my part, I think. Sometimes I have to look at a person's name is I am going to address him. I constantly have to look at trpnkl's name(I didn't in this case and probably got it wrong).\



dilligaph- if you care to share, I am all ears.

 

[dilligaf]

I'm guessing that from now on you sill have an easier time remembering it.

 

[pickup]

I'm guessing that from now on you sill have an easier time remembering it.

uh, definitely yeah!

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

I liked what you said Helen, made me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Are you sure it's not the drugs you got from the dentist?

 

[outta hours]

It still irks me to no end that I must share part of my retirement with my ex. Grrr! Life!!

I'm with you helen. I'll work till I'm 80 to keep her from getting any of my pension. Hey I think I will start marrying UPS girls then getting them to split their pension with me.