One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal
- Thread starter moreluck
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moreluck
golden ticket member
*Vice President Joe Biden said that investing in the nation's highways and bridges is a "national security" issue. Even better idea: keep terrorists out of the country so they don't drive on them.
*A new report shows that there won't be a single conservative commencement speaker at any of America's top 10 colleges. Meanwhile, the liberal speakers will all be pontificating about the virtue of diversity.
*Hillary Clinton has hired a full-time "rapid response" research group dedicated to defending her from attacks on her record. Wish she'd protected the Libyan consulate that zealously.
*Russia's foreign minister Sergei Lavrov gave John Kerry two baskets of potatoes and tomatoes. I expect they'll argue about pronunciation and then call the whole thing off.
*France is considering a new law that gives its government sweeping new powers to spy on its citizens. That's just crazy. Don't they have executive orders over there?
-- Fred Thompson--
*A new report shows that there won't be a single conservative commencement speaker at any of America's top 10 colleges. Meanwhile, the liberal speakers will all be pontificating about the virtue of diversity.
*Hillary Clinton has hired a full-time "rapid response" research group dedicated to defending her from attacks on her record. Wish she'd protected the Libyan consulate that zealously.
*Russia's foreign minister Sergei Lavrov gave John Kerry two baskets of potatoes and tomatoes. I expect they'll argue about pronunciation and then call the whole thing off.
*France is considering a new law that gives its government sweeping new powers to spy on its citizens. That's just crazy. Don't they have executive orders over there?
-- Fred Thompson--
UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)
Well-Known Member
moreluck
golden ticket member
A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom – his hands were dirty.
She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”
Smiling the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”
She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”
Smiling the boy replied, “I think I’d be too polite to mention it.”
moreluck
golden ticket member
Quite Serious......
The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "There are three doctors there already!"
The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "There are three doctors there already!"
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