Preload Cropdusting

[iruhnman630]

You think this is bad? Try being on the road trying not to offend some poor unsuspecting customer.

 

[iruhnman630]

Tru fact: 4 out of 10 viewers of this thread will never admit to rolling on the ground laughing after reading it.

 

[over9five]

Burger King onion rings.
Nuff said.

 

[Bagels]

Burger King onion rings.
Nuff said.

White Castle burgers. Unfortunately, White Castle is open 24-hours.

 

[IVE GOTTA PACKAGE 4U]

No..I would just go to the bathroom...The packages can wait till you get done...and maybe your co_workers would be just a little happier too!!

 

[cachsux]

Gyros with onions.

Back in the day before they started locking all the tractors the joke was to go around napalming other guys rigs.

 

[Anonymous 10]

Burger King onion rings.
Nuff said.

62 wings and about 12 beers the day of the Super Bowl. Nuff said

 

[SmithBarney]

We had an on-car who became a vegetarian, man he stank even without breaking wind...

And occassionally for fun if you were fast enough... we would sneak up to the next preloader
to "check" his load.. and leave a present.. always good for a laugh.

 

['Lord Brown's bidding']

were you one of those kids in school who sat in the back of the class and farted all the time????

In 3rd grade I farted in science class and successfully blamed it on the teacher.

 

[im_tired]

im_tired,

Do you find these bottles often?

nah, i've only found one so far. but one is enough.

 

[jibbs]

In 3rd grade I farted in science class and successfully blamed it on the teacher.

If this were a contest I think you just won.


I start busting ass the second I finish eating whatever I bring with me (usually a couple granola/protein bars). If I just gave myself a few more minutes to hit the bathroom before work it wouldn't happen at all, but I've got this bad habit of waking up about 5 minutes before I have to be out the door.

 

[PiedmontSteward]

I was loading a high volume truck on an outbound PD with another guy in the middle of the summer one year.. let a vile belly flapper loose and waited to watch his reaction. He started coughing and gagging as he ran to the cat walk. I actually saw him dry heave and he told me he was about to puke. But no cigar.

That's the closest I've ever come to being a legend.

 

[curiousbrain]

I was loading a high volume truck on an outbound PD with another guy in the middle of the summer one year.. let a vile belly flapper loose and waited to watch his reaction. He started coughing and gagging as he ran to the cat walk. I actually saw him dry heave and he told me he was about to puke. But no cigar.

That's the closest I've ever come to being a legend.

When I was young, my parents got absolutely wasted one night. In the morning, my brother and I were playing on the bed and just generally being annoying, when our father rolled over, and in an exaggerated fashion, heaved a great sigh and flapped the blankets. He must've had the oven going for hours, because my mother began to choke, gag, and started to run for the bathroom; she got a few steps, turned to the window, and honked on the back of the air conditioning unit.

I had a weird childhood.

 

[Anonymous 10]

When I was young, my parents got absolutely wasted one night. In the morning, my brother and I were playing on the bed and just generally being annoying, when our father rolled over, and in an exaggerated fashion, heaved a great sigh and flapped the blankets. He must've had the oven going for hours, because my mother began to choke, gag, and started to run for the bathroom; she got a few steps, turned to the window, and honked on the back of the air conditioning unit.

I had a weird childhood.

I think I'm about to cry. That was sure funny.

 

[Bluejay]

Howdy. I'm new here, and new to UPS--I'll have a year in May. I work on preload in Austin, TX, and I love it. I mean, it sucks and it hurts and it makes me feel crazy, but what's love without that? Anyway, I have a situation that happens every day and I'm wondering who else it happens to. At a point late in the morning, usually around the time the air shows up, I start farting basically every time i do anything because I really, really need to take a ****. I'm in a heavy section, so there's usually no time for that. I would go when we break, but the timing's never right because my bowels hate me. Instead I just fart, like, a lot. What happens next never fails to make me laugh. I'll be loading one car, fart in it, move to another, load more, walk back into the car I was just loading, and BAM, I just cropdusted myself. Face full of my own fart. The worst is when I fart while I'm making a stack and then turn around to set it in the back of the car behind me and basically kneel directly into my own gas. Does this happen to anybody else?

This is hilarious. I am the same way, actually.

 

[AZBrown]

When I was young, my parents got absolutely wasted one night. In the morning, my brother and I were playing on the bed and just generally being annoying, when our father rolled over, and in an exaggerated fashion, heaved a great sigh and flapped the blankets. He must've had the oven going for hours, because my mother began to choke, gag, and started to run for the bathroom; she got a few steps, turned to the window, and honked on the back of the air conditioning unit.

I had a weird childhood.

Now that's just good honest livin'

 

[soberups]

If I know Im going to be getting an OJS from an obnoxious sup, I will have my wife make her famous three-bean soup with sauteed onions and chopped garlic the night before.

 

[sortaisle]

If you can't flap your perfectly cooked dutch oven at your kids then you aren't parenting right!

 

[menotyou]

We had a guy who was very fit and a vegan. Wow. Just wow. I, finally, used seniority and refused to unload with him. Wow. Eyes burning wow.

 

[LongTimeComing]

We had a guy who was very fit and a vegan. Wow. Just wow. I, finally, used seniority and refused to unload with him. Wow. Eyes burning wow.

Funny you say this. We had an employee who was vegan....and all I heard during the summers was how bad she smelled. It got to the point to where a couple of her friends in the sort took her to the side and explained this stuff to her. Oddly enough, after that night, she changed whatever she needed to change and the problem is gone....

Curious as to what she did. I'm thinking she was avoiding deodorant before, and then maybe found some sort of animal friendly type when she was complained to...