I found this on Craigslist, pretty funny!!
Rants from a UPS driver
Date: 2007-02-27, 2:23AM EST
Before i started this job I thought I was a pretty normal person and your avg. person in DC had common sense. Damn if I wasn't wrong on that one. Now mind you the avg home price where i deliver is $750,000+. Here are a few tips to get your stuff to you, not get ran the hell over, and not get cursed out by a driver wearing a poop brown uniform.
* Put fricking numbers on your house. How hard is that? I know your college educated. How fricking hard is it to post numbers. Hire someone hell hire me to put em up. And I understand your crap may be getting remodeled. Grab one of those big ass pieces of ply-wood spray some numbers on it and stick it in the front yard.
* Illuminate the darn lights. Go stand in the middle of the street at night and see if you can see your house numbers. If you cant see them or have to search to find them how in the heck do you think I can see them?????
* If you see my big ass truck driving down a narrow two way street with cars parked on both sides I PROMISE you you cannot get buy. Not even in a mini cooper on two wheels.
* If you come out and see that your side view mirror is ripped off dont automatically assume it was me. It was probably the idiot trying to squeeze by me.
* Honking your horn is not going to move my truck. I assure you I already know I'm blocking your path and you blowing your horn constantly is only going to piss me off which in turn is only going to make me take longer to piss you off.
* If you ordered huge package from pottery barn, west elm, ikea, or overstock.com and I'm nice enough to bring it in your house b/c your weak, old, with child, have broken limb or just plain lazy dont tip me a dang dollar an think anything else is going to make it to your house on 1st attempt or in one piece.
* Dont bitch because I threw your lands-end or j crew package to your door. Its only a fricking shirt calm your nerves.
* Dont tell me you damn life story unless your paying me to listen. I am on a time line. Shut up and just sign.
* Lock up your dog/cat/bad ass kid or whatever else is wild behind your door. If it comes at me I will
it up with whatever I can get my hands on to defend myself.
* And dont try to jump in my face about a package that UPS lost somewhere in transition. I am only a driver I only deliver what they put on my truck. I have not been a driver my whole life and dont think this brown uniform will stop you from getting your ass kicked
* And always remember my truck is bigger than your vehicle. Its raggedy as hell and DOES NOT STOP ON A DIME and never will. Dont cut me off or ride your bike in my path or think you can beat me across the street. I promise you will end up the loser guaranteed
Rants from a UPS driver
Date: 2007-02-27, 2:23AM EST
Before i started this job I thought I was a pretty normal person and your avg. person in DC had common sense. Damn if I wasn't wrong on that one. Now mind you the avg home price where i deliver is $750,000+. Here are a few tips to get your stuff to you, not get ran the hell over, and not get cursed out by a driver wearing a poop brown uniform.
* Put fricking numbers on your house. How hard is that? I know your college educated. How fricking hard is it to post numbers. Hire someone hell hire me to put em up. And I understand your crap may be getting remodeled. Grab one of those big ass pieces of ply-wood spray some numbers on it and stick it in the front yard.
* Illuminate the darn lights. Go stand in the middle of the street at night and see if you can see your house numbers. If you cant see them or have to search to find them how in the heck do you think I can see them?????
* If you see my big ass truck driving down a narrow two way street with cars parked on both sides I PROMISE you you cannot get buy. Not even in a mini cooper on two wheels.
* If you come out and see that your side view mirror is ripped off dont automatically assume it was me. It was probably the idiot trying to squeeze by me.
* Honking your horn is not going to move my truck. I assure you I already know I'm blocking your path and you blowing your horn constantly is only going to piss me off which in turn is only going to make me take longer to piss you off.
* If you ordered huge package from pottery barn, west elm, ikea, or overstock.com and I'm nice enough to bring it in your house b/c your weak, old, with child, have broken limb or just plain lazy dont tip me a dang dollar an think anything else is going to make it to your house on 1st attempt or in one piece.
* Dont bitch because I threw your lands-end or j crew package to your door. Its only a fricking shirt calm your nerves.
* Dont tell me you damn life story unless your paying me to listen. I am on a time line. Shut up and just sign.
* Lock up your dog/cat/bad ass kid or whatever else is wild behind your door. If it comes at me I will
it up with whatever I can get my hands on to defend myself. * And dont try to jump in my face about a package that UPS lost somewhere in transition. I am only a driver I only deliver what they put on my truck. I have not been a driver my whole life and dont think this brown uniform will stop you from getting your ass kicked
* And always remember my truck is bigger than your vehicle. Its raggedy as hell and DOES NOT STOP ON A DIME and never will. Dont cut me off or ride your bike in my path or think you can beat me across the street. I promise you will end up the loser guaranteed
