I'd be all over that rural route you seem to hate. Heavy routes will break your body down pretty quick imo. You can listen to podcasts all day etc. on a rural rte. At least that's what I'd be doing.
Also I would definitely look harder at the Carolinas. I was visiting fam in NC recently and visited a station near where they live (about 40 minutes away from Charlotte) I could totally see myself working/living out there. WAY CHEAPER and pretty pretttty nice. I'm in California btw.

is too expensive if you work at FedEx and are the breadwinner. I've been eyeballing the Carolinas for a while, it's on my radar, I just need to pull the trigger.