I dont know if it will make you feel better, but things do happen for a reason, sometimes we figure them out, sometimes we do not.
I was devastated when mine left.
Now Im glad he did. It was 31 yrs ago Feb 11. I grew, I got stronger, I learned some hard lessons about life, and living.
Since you had no choice you owe it to yourself to be good to yourself, treat yourself, and love yourself, to survive this.
Doing well is the best revenge. And you wont go to jail for it
(Sweet Revenge was his Drag car.. I named it, he lost it. 1980? Cuda, darn shame)
31 yrs later, hes dead, Im remarried, to the love of my life. My boys are doing well, and life is good.
It doesnt seem that way now, but it does get better, I promise.