There's always a silver lining...

I regret to admit I've been dealing with a nasty hemorrhoid, my fellow upsers. It first reared it's ugly bulging head about a week into the seasonal helper job. I've never had the pleasure of dealing with one before (being a younger guy) so I had to reluctantly borrow a tube of cream from my uncle's medicine cabinet, and I've been religiously applying it to my orifice daily.

So today I met my driver at the designated spot.... just like any other day. Jumped in the truck, donned my vest and gloves, and buckled up for the long, monotonous, ride ahead. All was well until about the 3rd or 4th stop, when carrying several heavy boxes to the door; I stooped down to gently set them down on the porch, only to hear a loud Rrrriiiiippp ..... friend.uck! The a s s of my pants had been parted like the Red Sea.

Thankfully, my driver had a little dollar-store-type sewing kit in the truck and I was able to quick and dirty sew the ass crack shut. It looked as if a blind kindergartener with Parkinson's had mended it, as I was sewing as fast I could so we could get back on the road, but it held for most of the day.

I just want to say that I normally go commando. Had it not been for my hemorrhoid and the cream applied to my butt crack, I would not have worn underwear today and would have really been in trouble. There's always something positive to be gleaned from the negative....


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