Things said in front of customers.

[IVE GOTTA PACKAGE 4U]

I love when the women ask "do you have a package for me?".....Yes, Ive Gotta Package 4u!

 

[overallowed]

I asked a female customer once when she was due to have her baby and she informed me icily that she wasn't pregnant. I could have crawled out *under* the door. I'll never do that again. Ever.

When I was about 10 my dad told me to NEVER ask a woman if she was pregnant, this, after I asked one of the fat ladies in our church how long was she gonna be pregnant. If she wants you to know, she'll tell you.

 

[Cementups]

I love when the women ask "do you have a package for me?".....Yes, Ive Gotta Package 4u!

A lady on my old area asked me while I was at the office she worked at, "Did you have a package for me at my house?" I said, "Yes, I put it in your bush." She turned a lovely shade of red.

 

[Cementups]

About 15 years ago I'm delivering to a doctor's office and walk in and I'm soaking wet. It's about 95º out and the humidity was through the roof. One of the cute nurses says to me, "You look hot." I stopped, winked at her (making sure everyone else saw) and said, "Thank you. You're not too bad yourself," and kept on walking. When I came back the next day the other women said she was super embarrassed and would run and hide when I came in after that. It was two weeks until she showed her face again.

 

[Indecisi0n]

A lady on my old area asked me while I was at the office she worked at, "Did you have a package for me at my house?" I said, "Yes, I put it in your bush." She turned a lovely shade of red.

In the front or back?

 

[Cementups]

And as far as the pregnant thing, I usually spin it the other way.
There is a girl who works at one of my stops now who was just about 9 months pregnant. I turned and said to her one day, "you better lay off the Triscuits. You're getting a bit fat lately." She says with a laugh, "I'm pregnant you ." And I follow with the dumb sounding, "Ahhhhhhhh, that makes much more sense."

 

[Cementups]

In the front or back?

If she's got a bush in the back, that's a whole new set of problems.

 

[soberups]

I was delivering an irreg to a house, handtrucking it around to the back door, when a yellowjacket flew up inside my nose and stung me. The pain was immediate and excruciating. It took me by surprised and scared me, and I dropped the handcart and screamed "mother fu//er!!!" as I clawed at my face in pain. What I didn't know was that the customer, an elderly woman who was active in a local church, was sitting in a lawn chair about 5 feet away. I turned and saw her and was horrified by my language as well as being in agony. She stood up from her chair, walked over to me, and said...."yellowjacket? I hate those mother fuc//ing things!" and then winked at me and went inside and got me an icepack.

 

[Brownslave688]

had a similar delivery. I was delivering a couple cases of Monovie to a house when a fella in his late 20's early 30's told me to go ahead and send it back because it doesn't work, "my Father died last week"

question: why did they take the "deceased" option out of the diad for non delivery?

This iS the one some what embarrassing thing I've had happen. Walked. 1/2 mile to the house. No joe died 3 weeks ago please refuse all meds from now on.

 

[Brownslave688]

I was delivering an irreg to a house, handtrucking it around to the back door, when a yellowjacket flew up inside my nose and stung me. The pain was immediate and excruciating. It took me by surprised and scared me, and I dropped the handcart and screamed "mother fu//er!!!" as I clawed at my face in pain. What I didn't know was that the customer, an elderly woman who was active in a local church, was sitting in a lawn chair about 5 feet away. I turned and saw her and was horrified by my language as well as being in agony. She stood up from her chair, walked over to me, and said...."yellowjacket? I hate those mother fuc//ing things!" and then winked at me and went inside and got me an icepack.

I had a customer not too long ago drop the board. She said OH . Then turned beet red. I said don't worry honey I've heard much worse.

 

[ZQXC]

I had a customer not too long ago drop the board. She said OH . Then turned beet red. I said don't worry honey I've heard much worse.

When one of my customers lets a profanity slip, like that, I usually reply "Time Out for (name)."
Get past it with a laugh.

 

[Covemastah]

I learned my first month that you don't walk into a funeral home yelling Hello UPS at the top of your lungs !! The director set me straight on that right away !!

 

[bottomups]

Made a delivery on a pretty cold day last winter. Handed the DIAD to the receptionist and she said rather loudly "Your little thingy is pretty cold today!" I replied so the whole office could hear "You're right, there is a little shrinkage going on. Tomorrow I'll wear my Under Armour!"

 

[soberups]

One thing I have learned in my 27 years here is that, as a driver, you should never pass up on a golden opportunity to keep your mouth shut.

 

[Covemastah]

One thing I have learned in my 27 years here is that, as a driver, you should never pass up on a golden opportunity to keep your mouth shut.

Aint that the truth Sober,,sad that some don't have the common sense to and are loooong gone !!

 

[soberups]

Avoid discussing the "three P's" with customers.

That would be: Politics, Professional (work) issues and Personal issues, either yours or theirs.

Stick with the weather, or sports, or inconsequential feel-good stuff like pets or how well their garden is doing. Be boring. Boring is safe and professional and it keeps you out of trouble.

 

[sailfish]

I often forget I'm not in my personal car and I'm driving around with my doors open so when I see a good looking girl walking I have to catch myself from saying "Nice ass, baby."

 

[TooTechie]

In the front or back?

If there is a bush in the back...you're doing it wrong.

 

[IVE GOTTA PACKAGE 4U]

If there is a bush in the back...you're doing it wrong.

Back door politics.

 

[upsbeernut]

Back door politics.

Is she presenting herself ?