Things customers should know

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by PeasAndCarrots, Sep 29, 2014.

  1. I'll start:

    If there's multiple wasps flying around your door, don't be surprised if I don't hang around to knock. You'll be lucky if the package is by the door at all.
     
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  2. alwaysoverallowed

    alwaysoverallowed Active Member

    I'm not here to make friends I'm here to make money.
    That means the following:

    I'm not carrying this lay-z boy from qvc into your house.

    This paper is going in the stock room on this floor not the mailroom on the 8th.

    C.O.D. Stands for COLLECT on delivery NOT CASH, no money order? sorry you're SOL AND NO I don't have a phone you can call me on call the 1-800 number and I'm sorry you have to wait on hold and you can understand the person who answers.

    Yes it's raining/cold/hot out there.

    Sorry chief you don't pay my salary so I don't care if you complain.

    If you do call you're not going to get me fired.

    No I don't know your cousin that worked as a helper during the 70s in Baton Rouge.

    Yeah we're hiring go to ups jobs.com
     
  3. box_beeyotch

    box_beeyotch Well-Known Member

    Don't forget "well I don't remember ordering this..." Or "hey you guys make a lot of money don't you"
     
  4. Knothead

    Knothead WTF?

    Painting your house number the same color of your house doesn't help anyone.
     
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  5. ChickenLegs

    ChickenLegs Safety Expert

    If you want your doorbell rang then clear the spiderwebs and nasty mold off of it
     
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  6. Operational needs

    Operational needs Well-Known Member

    No, I won't call you using my cell phone so you can rush home from work, supposedly 5 minutes away.

    And if you have a shared driveway with 10 other houses, thank you for putting your house number on your mailbox, but could you go one further and put a number on your HOUSE?

    And yes, if I left a doortag on your door yesterday, saying someone must be present to sign for package, I DO need someone to sign.
     
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  7. Knothead

    Knothead WTF?

    Regardless what you may say or think, your dog does indeed bite. Put him away and you can have your package.
     
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  8. Operational needs

    Operational needs Well-Known Member

    Also, I hear the Farmer's Almanac is predicting an ugly winter. Please, for the love of God, shovel your sidewalks and driveways, especially if they are a mile long. If it's not safe to get to your door, I'm not risking life and limb to get there. You'll find your package at the mailbox at the end of your driveway.
     
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  9. OPTION3

    OPTION3 Well-Known Member

    Peeping through the blinds.....then yelling”I’m Here” from the fourth floor, once I’m in the truck won’t work....see ya tomorrow
     
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  10. PASinterference

    PASinterference Yes, I know I'm working late.

    No matter how many times I say UPS when you say who is it - you still wont understand me and get off your lazy :censored2: and look out the window.
     
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  11. tapatio75

    tapatio75 Member

    I dont yell, shout or talk to doors asking me who is it or what do I want, you either open the door or you get a delivery notice


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  12. Pooter

    Pooter Active Member

    Change your cat litter.

    Unless of course, you enjoy your house smelling like cat piss.
     
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  13. brownmonster

    brownmonster Man of Great Wisdom

    If your box is on the porch and I'm back in the truck, no I dont need a signature.
     
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  14. Re-Raise

    Re-Raise Well-Known Member

    If your dog is growling next to you inside the house, don't open the door and let him out. Wait until I leave please.
     
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  15. tapatio75

    tapatio75 Member

    Just because we work together doesn't mean that I know where is your regular driver or why is he off again


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  16. oldngray

    oldngray nowhere special

    Do you know Joe (insert random name)? He works at UPS.
     
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  17. joeboodog

    joeboodog good people drink good beer

    When I am delivering your house at 7:50 in the evening, I am well aware I am working late.
     
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  18. oldngray

    oldngray nowhere special

    And when its 6 pm but dark because its winter doesn't mean I'm working late.
     
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  19. bumped

    bumped Well-Known Member

    They can hear me when I say I'll be back tomorrow. The door miraculously flies open.
     
  20. scisector9

    scisector9 Active Member

    No sir or ma'am i have no idea what it is or what's in it

    Yes you can sign your name obviously you are not Bob smith as I see you have breasts and yes your name not his and no it doesn't matter that he is not currently in the office.

    Yes I know my socks are adorable and match my uniform

    No I don't really have time to (insert random silly request) unless a shipper