Are your wives as lonely as I am?

[wayfair]

My wife just came home. She's wondering why we are out of whiskey. I guess she can have The Captain.

3 drinks and you're out of whiskey??? buy a bigger bottle... or maybe 2

 

[toonertoo]

She actually does quite a bit more than me on a daily basis--she just acts like I don't do anything at all which is inaccurate.

How did you have no fingerprints? lol.

Because the asphalt wore them off!!!!!!! I could have committed murder and left nothing behind. That is some hard work. He had his heart attack roofing, so when he was doing it afterward at our house, I had to supervise................He called in better people. I still help him work on vehicles. He yells, I learn. And I help with motorcycles, too. I have not been fired from either of those jobs yet.
He drew me a picture of what our roof would have looked like, had I continued to hammer, staple and place. I thought it would look awesome. A little slant on things, instead of that perfectly straight stuff.

 

[TooTechie]

you've never roofed a house I suppose...

Not since I was a teenager. I remember it being ridiculously hot though.

 

[wayfair]

Not since I was a teenager. I remember it being ridiculously hot though.

those old couch cushions are miracle makers man!!!

 

[toonertoo]

have you been divorced??????????

Im a two time loser. On my third. My first two were when I was 15, then again at 19. So really do they count? This one has lasted 12, a record for me!

 

[toonertoo]

Sure you didn't do that on purpose?

Well maybe just a little, a 1/4 inch is just a little right...............

 

[Harry Manback]

My wife rants about how I'm a part time parent and never home from working so much (I come right home after work and never go out with the guys since I moved away from them years ago) and how she does everything...so while I'm amazed at how she does so much...she ruins it with her constant bitching and moaning...

By the way, every morning I make my youngest breakfast, bring him to school, empty the dishwasher, take out the trash/recycling, feed the dogs and let them out/scoop their poop and make our bed. In the evening if I get home in time I give him a bath, read him a book, make sure he brushes his teeth, put him to bed, etc, run the dishwasher and let the dogs out. On the weekends I do 2-4 loads of laundry, dust and vacuum the house, snow removal, lawn mowing/whatever needs to be done outside...but I do nothing in her eyes...

I'll need you to go ahead and surrender your Man Card, sir. (Just kiddin')


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