These deserve a closer look.
It takes a REAL man to be a manager. Someone who is:
1. A really bad courier
How good you are (or aren't) as a courier has little bearing on how good/bad of a manager you'll be. A courier is responsible for the work of one person, a manager is responsible for the work of many people. You don't have to be a great courier to be able to see the bigger picture and effectively lead a group of people.
From experience, outstanding couriers don't make the best managers.
2. #1 above, and wants off the road before they get fired for preventables
Bitter MF babble.
3. LAZY, as in not willing to break a sweat in the cans or on the road
Handlers and couriers do those jobs and, according to you, do them better.
4. A liar and manipulator. Weak-minded, and easily swayed by purple and orange hype.
5. In love with purple velour blazers that a circus clown would refuse to wear.
6. An abusive personality who likes to command others.
Filler.
7. A follower, not a leader, because the FedEx playbook is to do everything the Memphis way.
8. Incapable of being an independent thinker.
LOL. Quite the opposite. You are a leader. Lead to the desired result. It's not "Hey guy, do whatever you want." It's a structured company with goals and avenues to a achieve them.
9. A schemer. Either they want off early every day, or can work-in their girlfriend/boyfriend time on the clock. Or, the golf course/bar/bathhouse in your case.
10. Not smart enough to be a manager or even an hourly at some other decent company that pays well and has ethical standards.
More filler.
I could keep going, but you get the point.
I do. Your biggest struggles would be with 7 & 8. You would be unable to handle an underling with an attitude like your own, would prefer to simply do things however you wanted them and wouldn't want to have to answer for them or be held accountable because you think you know better than anyone above you, way too sensitive to criticism, and your preference is to nitpick and complain about others because it keeps the attention on them and off of you.
Anyone with aaallllll the answers and who displays such animosity to management already knows that he doesn't have the talent or the smarts to lead a group of people and take responsibility for them - that's why he acts the way he does. That's why you act the way you do. Make all the excuses you want.