Diad creed!!

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by upsman2940, Jun 6, 2012.

  1. upsman2940

    upsman2940 New Member

    This is my DIAD.
    There are many like it, but this one is MINE.
    My DIAD is my best friend. It is my life.
    I must master it as I must master my life.
    My DIAD without me is useless. Without my DIAD, I am useless.
    I must scan the laser true.
    I must scan better than my competition who is trying to take our packages.
    I must scan every package to give the customer what they pay for.
    My DIAD and myself know that what counts in service, is not the attempts we make to scan a package.
    We know it is the physical scans of the packages that count. We will hit every package accurately.
    My DIAD is human, even as I, because it is my life.
    Thus, I will learn it as a brother.
    I will learn its buttons, its procedures, its steps, its warnings, its proper use, and its scanner.
    I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage.
    I will keep my DIAD clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
    we will become part of each other. we will.....
    I swear the creed.
    My DIAD and myself are the face of UPS.
    We are the masters of our competition.
    We are the saviors for our customers.

    So be it, until there is no missing scans and misuse of a DIAD.
    They gave us this load of crap at our pcm! Makes me wanna vomit!​
  2. Cementups

    Cementups Box Monkey

    I can guarantee you that if I get that handed to me it will go directly in the trash without my signature.
  3. upsman2940

    upsman2940 New Member

    The ONLY reason i kept one was so i could share!
  4. Jackburton

    Jackburton Gone Fish'n

    They posted this above one of the urinals today, appropriate place, slightly too high for my limited reach however.
  5. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt Dark Prince of Double Standards Staff Member

    If this is legit, that is hilarious.
    OK it is pretty funny even if you made it up.

    Any of our veterans recognize this?
  6. cosmo1

    cosmo1 Now, a low life jack wagon, and still loving it.

    LMFAO!! What will​ they come up with next?
  7. upsman2940

    upsman2940 New Member

    Oh its totally legit!
  8. Jackburton

    Jackburton Gone Fish'n

    Confirmed in Roswell hub. The urinal next to this one informs you about DIAD limitations, including possiable failure at temps above 95 degrees. There were no mentions of how to correct this issue besides not leaving the DIAD in the back of the truck and to take it with you to lunch. No mention about the fact that perhaps they should purchase equipment that doesn't have Playskool enscribed on the side that was approved by corporate management with stock in Honeywell.
  9. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt Dark Prince of Double Standards Staff Member

    Sorry man but that ain't legit no matter the origin.
  10. Johney

    Johney Well-Known Member

    Sorry I'm not drinking the Brown Kool-Aid no matter what they say.
  11. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    I can't wait to see Sobers retort to this.
  12. 728ups

    728ups offending people on the internet since 1995

    my father is/was a Marine,and he would NOT view this with humour
  13. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt Dark Prince of Double Standards Staff Member

    Upon further reflection, I think was actually a test to see if a supervisor would follow orders even if he/she was ashamed to.
  14. Jones

    Jones fILE A GRIEVE! Staff Member

    Whoever wrote that oughta be taken out back and shot. Bill his family for the bullet.
  15. Buck Fifty

    Buck Fifty New Member

    Bet Upstate can recite this verbatim by heart . just saying ! Any wagers ???
  16. Cementups

    Cementups Box Monkey

    Seriously, the Upstate bashing is getting old. Especially from relatively new members who jump on the bandwagon.
  17. OptimusPrime

    OptimusPrime Active Member

    Apparently some sup has watched too much Full Metal Jacket. Yes, I know the Rifleman's Creed existed before the film, but $20 says that's where they picked it up.

    I keep reading about people talking about DIAD's overheating in the rear of the truck. We have always been instructed to take it with us on all breaks and lunches. Don't see a reason to leave it behind. Now yes, some routes have multiple boards, but that's a horse of a different color.
  18. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    That's fine but guess I can't leave the building until I have MY diad..... Oh I think I'm going to be here awhile they all look the same
  19. Buck Fifty

    Buck Fifty New Member

    Let me have my fun, Dont you and Tarzan have something to do ?
  20. DS

    DS Fenderbender

    I didn't see it that way.I thought it was pretty funny.Just don't let you're dad see it.

    Jonesy...that's harsh!
    Whoever wrote it was just playing with words.Kinda like weird Al does to songs.
    The diad/rifle connection is a nice metaphor for the perfect tool for the job.
    It's a bit lame in spots,but all in all the OP shared some good humor.