From The Chairman, The SFA

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Apr 25, 2013.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Dear Team Members,

    Thanks again for all of your hard work and dedication fulfilling the Purple Promise. And a big Bravo Zulu to FedEx Express for 40 years of living the dream. Once again, the SFA shows that we are fulfilling our promise to employees to walk our talk on the P-S-P philosophy that guides every decision we make at FedEx. For the 40th straight year, the numbers are UP, and prove that we deserve the honor of being a "Top 100 Places To Work" employer and one of America's "Most Admired Companies."

    How do we do it? Lets see now, after 40 years you are at a grand total of 273% MORE SATISFIED than when we started back in 1973. That is AMAZING!! P-S-P works!! You are one very happy group of employees.

    I'm also aware that we have had some lower than average scores at the station level. MT3, Dave and I have determined that there's only one answer for this, which is that you are not working hard enough. If only you were more productive and not on a "Friday Schedule" all of the time, everything would be fine. See, you work harder, make me more money, and that makes everyone happy.

    Our corporate SFA scores prove once again that there is no need for third-party representation at FedEx. Remember, that UPS employees pay $600 per week for union dues and also pay $400 per week for their healthcare plan. This negates the higher pay they receive, meaning YOU actually make more than they do. AND, they have nothing to look forward to after only 3 years, just the same high pay. You get to wait forever to never make even close to what they make...err. Plus, the Teamsters are all Communists from Cuba. Here's an example of your REAL pay advantages over UPS:

    FedEx Courier: $17 per hour, and $400 per month in healthcare premiums. 45 hrs per week times 4 weeks =$2660

    UPS Driver: $32 per hour, and $1000 per week in union dues and healthcare costs. 45 hrs per week times 4 weeks = $1760!!SEE, you make more money.

    PLUS, we give you BBQ, and lots of really other great food a gifts. Lunch sacks, sunglasses, drink coasters, and soon, a giant purple foam finger that says "FedEx is #1".

    Next year, the new and improved SFA will be taken in your manager's office, so they can assist you in understanding how to complete the form properly. You see, we think that employees are not able to understand everything that we do for them, so your manager is there to help. If you don't complete it, there will be a letter placed in your file because this is IMPORTANT, and you must comply. Your manager will provide with all the answers you need. In fact, he or she will be able to see and assist you on every question.

    It's all about understanding, and many of you don't understand that our investment in Ground is good...for you. Every penny of that 17.5% profit margin is put right back into pay and benefits that mean more profit for YOU. If Ground succeeds, we all prosper. See, it's that simple.

    Once again, thank you for all that you do.


    Frederick W. Smith
  2. hypo hanna

    hypo hanna Well-Known Member


    (And pretty much the way they think.)
  3. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Thanks for bringing that smoke and mirrors machine with you Fred.


    Thanks Uncle Fred for making me realize that all those events that my kids participated in and I missed was for my benefit! I am so glad that you and Uncle Matty (we like to call him, the Mattster, the Mattinator or CAPTAIN AWESOME) are looking out my well being and protecting me from that awful, bullying, money stealing, band of thieves called a "union". Just typing that word makes me cringe. Maybe if I ask really nice and say pretty please you'll take away some of these pesky hours that I work....please?
  5. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    I think you have paycheck envy.
  6. Mr. 7

    Mr. 7 The monkey on the left.

    I think MFE should spend more time with his family rather than posting these long-winded new threads.