How do you know if you are a Package Car Driver?

old levi's

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if your body is wracked with pain, if you dream about stupid OJS msgs, like folding in your mirror at every stop, and how to be safe, and how its a choice. If you need to eat tums on the way to work, If you need a tow truck to get to your front door, when you get home, if your knees and ankles, and hips suddenly dont work correctly after you have sat for 10 minutes, If you walk up to a friends house and yell UPS at the front door, or toot when you pull up, you are a ups driver.
I friend you extend your handshake and instead say sign here, if you do your errands according to loop, and dont like to turn left, you are a UPS driver.

What other way is there?
 
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