More stupid things customers say

[handrail_hank]

The other day I pulled up in front of a house, selected the package and stepped off the car. There was some kids playing in the yard across the street and they had a dog. The dog saw me and came over to greet me wagging his tail . He then walked beside me as I crossed the street and walked up the drive to the house that I had a delivery for. As I got close to the house the garage door started opening and I could see that someone was coming out so I stopped in front of the door to wait as the door opened up. A lady walks out of the garage and looks down at the dog next to me then looks up at me and says " Is that your dog?"

 

[Fredly000]

LOL thats funny.

I like the people that say "my dog never acts this way" (referring to
the bad dog) uhuh.. sure. whatever lady.

 

[beentheredonethat]

My favorite was when I was out on my route deliverying and a guy came and asked for his package. I got his name and company info and looked in my cargo area, and couldn't find it. I told him the bad news. He said look again, it has to be there it was shipped second day air on Monday. I said, but sir it's only Tuesday. Yeah, I know that, the customer says, Monday, Tuesday that's two days. I told him if that was true you could ship a package at 5:00 PM next day air on Monday and we would have delivered it by 10:30 AM earlier in the same day. We may be good, but we're not that good.

 

[Fredly000]

I hear "your late" alot.. then I look at my watch and say, nope.

or the o-so famous, "i've been waiting for you all day" at a resi.

Or you stop directly in front of someones house and they say "ya have
something for me" then just answer while pointing down the street "nope, got something for that guy"

 

[InTheRed]

how about the infamous "stay dry" when it's raining cats and dogs out there?

 

[Fredly000]

how about the infamous "stay dry" when it's raining cats and dogs out there?

hehe don't hear that often, but I feel for my brothers and sisters that work
the pacific northwest. (it never rains here...)

I get the "stay warm" all the time.. yeah cause I just wander around all day
and hardly get my heart rate up above rest.

 

[25yrvet]

"Does ups ever sell those trucks? I'd like ta make a camper outta one of 'em."

NO...they have us drive this sub standard crap till the wheels fall off & then send 'em to hell to torture others. Or maybe this crap comes from hell. Gotta new paint job though.

 

[Mr. Brown]

How about when you hand the package to a customer and here the "what is it?" or "is it free?" I also still here "is Dale going to race the truck?"

 

[fedxsux]

here is a classic.

It was peak of '98. I made a delivery to a business, and had the secretary sign. She grabbed the Diad and said " Man, this is heavy"(diad) I responded,
" It seems heavier as the day goes on" She replies " I bet with all those signatures you collect it has to get heavier":1

 

[terrymac]

Several years ago, I was delivering to a regular customer, it was kind of a "slow" day, we had just got the diad II. I was going to show her the useless red light, that shines out the bottom of the diad. I pointed it at the phone on her desk,just then the phone rang, she looked at me in amazement. I didnt say anything, just a knowing look, and scampered off.

 

[Mr. Brown]

when I was using the old diad and got signatures from the customers they would look at the stylus and ask "does it matter which end I use to sign?" 1

 

[25yrvet]

When they say that they are usually about to sign, then I'll say, "other end". It makes 'em look & actually think while they're at work.
How 'bout the idiots who don't put the stylus completely back in the spring holders or the ones who grab their pen to sign.

 

[jules23]

here is a classic.

It was peak of '98. I made a delivery to a business, and had the secretary sign. She grabbed the Diad and said " Man, this is heavy"(diad) I responded,
" It seems heavier as the day goes on" She replies " I bet with all those signatures you collect it has to get heavier":1

Well, that gave me a good laugh...When I jumped for peak (just to clarify i have never been a driver)...i always enjoyed when someone would ask me what was in the box...my standard response was 'i don't know, santa get's mad when we look'. I figured it would be better than 'sorry my xray vision is on the blink today' or 'we didn't have time to open everything before we left this morning.'

 

[browniehound]

If I could find out the anwser to this question before I die I will die a happy person: What on God's green earth do customers expect for an anwser when they ask "What is it?" I mean, I really don't what to say so I just don't say anything and ask them if they would please sign. What else am I to do?

 

[ikoi62]

i remember when we used to deliver the adult toys to houses..i had this one stop where every time i went there she would ask "whats in the box" lots of times it was easy.
if it was from jcpenney's i say clothes or sears i would say tools..and so on..this one time i went there i had the brown bag from the adult store in hand,i knocked she opened and siad Hi..bob whats in the bag? all i said was toys. she signed and opened the bag looked in turned bright red looked at me and said thanks and closed the door. i ran back to the truck laughing my ass off ..that was a few years ago..when ever i went there after that it was just "Hi bob how are you.." never asked whats in the box again.

 

[Fredly000]

I love when people ask "what I'd get"

One box... or if multiple boxes
One white box, one brown box.
One brown box, one smushed box...

 

[UPSmeoff]

Race the truck Dale!!!!

 

[UPSmeoff]

you ever heard the one about fedex and ups merging. yeah,,,,,,,,,,their gonna call it FEDUPS!!!!!!!!!!!
Man i hate that joke..

 

[outta hours]

" The guy that writes the checks will be right back ... can you wait?

 

[browniehound]

" The guy that writes the checks will be right back ... can you wait?

Or how about: They weren't supposed to send that cod. Can you call them and see if you can leave it?
No you friggin maroon