New time standard under consideration

[Big Babooba]

UPS will be performing a work study on how you wipe your ass. They will create a standardized procedure that would be fast and economical (1sheet maximum). The IE (Industrial Engineering but I call them Intercourse and Exercise because after they screw you they give you the runaround) will have their hands full (of ) measuring length, thickness, consistency and evacuation time. They will have to add an allowance for flatulence during the event too. I presume that they're going to hold a hose to your butt to measure how much gas you produce.Then they will take all the info from thousands of potty experiences and come up for a potty time allowance.

 

[El Correcto]

UPS will be performing a work study on how you wipe your ass. They will create a standardized procedure that would be fast and economical (1sheet maximum). The IE (Industrial Engineering but I call them Intercourse and Exercise because after they screw you they give you the runaround) will have their hands full (of ) measuring length, thickness, consistency and evacuation time. They will have to add an allowance for flatulence during the event too. I presume that they're going to hold a hose to your butt to measure how much gas you produce.Then they will take all the info from thousands of potty experiences and come up for a potty time allowance.

They should just buy us all fecal trumpets and catheters.

 

[Poop Head]

I've been documenting my poops for years.

 

[Big Babooba]

I've been documenting my poops for years.

Are you in IE?

 

[Indecisi0n]

Always wipe front to back . I went back to front once and my balls smelled for a week.

 

[Netsua 3:16]

Always wipe front to back . I went back to front once and my balls smelled for a week.

How do you know what your balls smell like? Impressive talent

 

[Indecisi0n]

How do you know what your balls smell like? Impressive talent

I am very flexible...

 

[watdaflock?]

What a dumb thread.

 

[Netsua 3:16]

What a dumb thread.

If the thread's dumb then don't dumb it down farther by posting your own dumb comment. Dummy

 

[The Driver]

They're gonna hate me. I eat a lot of beans and broccoli.

Do NOT, under any circumstances, stick your nose in the cab of my package car.

 

[Poop Head]

Are you in IE?

I'm not sure if you're serious with this thread or not. Not that their bogus numbers matter one bit. But, if they're gonna get so crazy about them, at least let us be able to code time for fueling off property, poop breaks, pee breaks, pee bottle breaks, tieing shoes, putting on/ taking off layers of clothing, etc...

 

[thecamel]

After they establish the allowance ie will just subtract 10 mins from it anyway. Take all the time you want. Crap your brains out!

 

[Wally]

UPS will be performing a work study on how you wipe your ass. They will create a standardized procedure that would be fast and economical (1sheet maximum). The IE (Industrial Engineering but I call them Intercourse and Exercise because after they screw you they give you the runaround) will have their hands full (of ) measuring length, thickness, consistency and evacuation time. They will have to add an allowance for flatulence during the event too. I presume that they're going to hold a hose to your butt to measure how much gas you produce.Then they will take all the info from thousands of potty experiences and come up for a potty time allowance.

Mom must be so proud?

 

[TearsInRain]

at least let us be able to code time for fueling off property, poop breaks, pee breaks, pee bottle breaks, tieing shoes, putting on/ taking off layers of clothing, etc...

you can literally do all of this dude

 

[Wally]

I'm not sure if you're serious with this thread or not. Not that their bogus numbers matter one bit. But, if they're gonna get so crazy about them, at least let us be able to code time for fueling off property, poop breaks, pee breaks, pee bottle breaks, tieing shoes, putting on/ taking off layers of clothing, etc...

We get plus 15 or 10 minutes bonus over 8.5 hours. The company doesn't allow that to factor in. Bias off the top.

 

[thecamel]

Not much that's more satisfying here than to let the idea float around that you might be taking a $50 an hour dump.

With the new metrics they will probably start calling it the 390 methods.

 

[zubenelgenubi]

I think I'm about to be over the dump allowance. I'll check back in when I'm done and let you know how everything came out.

 

[zubenelgenubi]

you can literally do all of this dude

I was told that if you put 99 under "pump 1" in "vehicles" then total gallons that gave you a time allowance. The other stuff? How would you code it? I never code anything but preload time without being instructed by my supervisor.

 

[thecamel]

The code 99 fuel allowance is MINIMAL here. Might as well take a dump and get paid $$$.

 

[Poop Head]

you can literally do all of this dude

How? Is there a code for taking time to try to figure out codes?

We get plus 15 or 10 minutes bonus over 8.5 hours. The company doesn't allow that to factor in. Bias off the top.

That's way too much math for me.

Not much that's more satisfying here than to let the idea float around that you might be taking a $50 an hour dump

Day after Thanksgiving dumps.