New time standard under consideration

Big Babooba

Well-Known Member
UPS will be performing a work study on how you wipe your ass. They will create a standardized procedure that would be fast and economical (1sheet maximum). The IE (Industrial Engineering but I call them Intercourse and Exercise because after they screw you they give you the runaround) will have their hands full (of :censored2:) measuring length, thickness, consistency and evacuation time. They will have to add an allowance for flatulence during the event too. I presume that they're going to hold a hose to your butt to measure how much gas you produce.Then they will take all the info from thousands of potty experiences and come up for a potty time allowance.
 

El Correcto

god is dead
UPS will be performing a work study on how you wipe your ass. They will create a standardized procedure that would be fast and economical (1sheet maximum). The IE (Industrial Engineering but I call them Intercourse and Exercise because after they screw you they give you the runaround) will have their hands full (of :censored2:) measuring length, thickness, consistency and evacuation time. They will have to add an allowance for flatulence during the event too. I presume that they're going to hold a hose to your butt to measure how much gas you produce.Then they will take all the info from thousands of potty experiences and come up for a potty time allowance.
They should just buy us all fecal trumpets and catheters.
 

Poop Head

Judge me.
Are you in IE?
I'm not sure if you're serious with this thread or not. Not that their bogus numbers matter one bit. But, if they're gonna get so crazy about them, at least let us be able to code time for fueling off property, poop breaks, pee breaks, pee bottle breaks, tieing shoes, putting on/ taking off layers of clothing, etc...
 

thecamel

Waiting to put the re in front of tired
After they establish the allowance ie will just subtract 10 mins from it anyway. Take all the time you want. Crap your brains out!
 
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Wally

BrownCafe Innovator & King of Puns
UPS will be performing a work study on how you wipe your ass. They will create a standardized procedure that would be fast and economical (1sheet maximum). The IE (Industrial Engineering but I call them Intercourse and Exercise because after they screw you they give you the runaround) will have their hands full (of :censored2:) measuring length, thickness, consistency and evacuation time. They will have to add an allowance for flatulence during the event too. I presume that they're going to hold a hose to your butt to measure how much gas you produce.Then they will take all the info from thousands of potty experiences and come up for a potty time allowance.
Mom must be so proud?
 

Wally

BrownCafe Innovator & King of Puns
I'm not sure if you're serious with this thread or not. Not that their bogus numbers matter one bit. But, if they're gonna get so crazy about them, at least let us be able to code time for fueling off property, poop breaks, pee breaks, pee bottle breaks, tieing shoes, putting on/ taking off layers of clothing, etc...
We get plus 15 or 10 minutes bonus over 8.5 hours. The company doesn't allow that to factor in. Bias off the top.
 

thecamel

Waiting to put the re in front of tired
Not much that's more satisfying here than to let the idea float around that you might be taking a $50 an hour dump.

With the new metrics they will probably start calling it the 390 methods.
 

Poop Head

Judge me.
you can literally do all of this dude
How? Is there a code for taking time to try to figure out codes?
We get plus 15 or 10 minutes bonus over 8.5 hours. The company doesn't allow that to factor in. Bias off the top.
That's way too much math for me.
Not much that's more satisfying here than to let the idea float around that you might be taking a $50 an hour dump
Day after Thanksgiving dumps.
 
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