Obama's nightmare...the phone rings at 3:00 AM and...

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by soberups, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    "Good morning President Obama, this is Prime Minister Livni of Israel. I apologize for waking you but there is a matter of the upmost urgency that must be discussed immediately.

    Our intelligence service recently confirmed that Iran is now capable of assembling and deploying a functioning nuclear warhead. We have concluded that our very survival as a nation and a race depends upon eliminating this threat. Accordingly, I have ordered the Israeli Defense Forces to launch an immediate full scale attack.

    As we speak, our aircraft are already underway. They are overflying Jordan, and will be over Iraqi airspace within 15 minutes. We will be stationing airborne refueling tankers over Iraq, so that our strike aircraft can refuel on the way to the target and then again on the way home.

    Mr. President, I have given my pilots the following instructions. First of all, any aircraft that are damaged and unable to make it home will attempt to land in territory controlled by you, meaning your airbase in Qatar or the airfields you control in Iraq. Second of all, any foreign aircraft or ground forces which attempt to shoot down our fighters or tankers, or in any way interfere with our mission...whether they be Iranian, Iraqi, Jordanian OR American...will be treated as enemy combatants and dealt with accordingly. Mr President, the survival of my nation depends upon the success of this mission, and if we must engage your aircraft as well as those of the enemy we will have no choice but to do so.

    And finally, Mr President, I must alert you to the fact that...should you attempt to intercept our strike aircraft or deny them the airspace to refuel in...or should our mission fail for any reason to completely eliminate the Iranian threat...I have held in reserve one full squadron of F-16's, each equipped with 2 thermonuclear gravity bombs, whose mission it will be to ensure the survival of our nation no matter what the consequences might be. The weapons have been armed, and the release codes have been issued to the pilots. On my order, they will destroy Damascus, Beirut, Riyahd, Tehran, and any remaning Iranian nuclear or military facilities that were able to survive our initial attack. Another squadron of nuclear-armed aircraft will remain on alert status with target packages for Russia to deter any Russian retaliatory strikes against us. I must ask you at this time, Mr. President, to either join us or at least give me your word that our aircraft will be granted safe passage across the Iraqi airspace you control. Mr President, as we speak our aircraft are entering that airspace....and in less than 40 minutes they will cross the Iranian frontier and begin their attack run. I need your answer right now, President Obama...do you stand with us?"
  2. tieguy

    tieguy Banned

    LOL good point. the phone rings at 3 am, Iran is creating a nuclear crisis and Obama responds by organizing a rock star type gathering in denver. :happy-very:
  3. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt Dark Prince of Double Standards Staff Member

    Hey Barry,
    This is Hillary.
    You know you stole this from me. I should be in that bed not you!

  4. chev

    chev Nightcrawler

    Naah. He would just have a meeting with Iran and have a "talk" about it. That would be the most effective way to handle it, right? Obama would be mid-flight to meet with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as the missiles flew by him going the other way.
    :surprised: Noooo! That would never happen, right?

  5. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    "Uhhhhh.............. Change, Prime Minister! It's all about change!!! And hope! It's all about hope, too!!!! Thank you for calling!"

  6. Jones

    Jones fILE A GRIEVE! Staff Member

    Well, a nuclear war in the middle east would be a nightmare for everyone (including Israel) not just Obama.

    Beyond that this has all the key ingredients of a neo-con fantasy, the most important being that Israel calls the tune and America dances, followed closely by the prospect of millions of Arabs being slaughtered in a righteous nuclear holocaust.

    The scenario itself is pretty ridiculous to anyone who's understanding of the world goes beyond a game of Risk. For starters, Israel would never ask for U.S. support for this type of operation without knowing in advance what the answer would be. They would have already done a lot of high level groundwork and if they thought they wouldn't get US support and were determined to go ahead anyway, they would just do it without asking anyone and deal with the consequences afterwards.

    In addition their biggest worry would be Russia's response, not our's. Iran is a Russian client state and it's highly unlikely that Putin would sit idly by while Israel launched a first strike. Russia is perfectly capable of wiping Israel off the map and the Israeli government is well aware of that.
  7. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    I don't think Soberups meant it that seriously, Jones.

    (Maybe I'm wrong....... OK, I didn't take it that seriously!)
  8. Jones

    Jones fILE A GRIEVE! Staff Member

    You might be right, that Sober guy does have an offbeat sense of humor :wink2:
  9. Hawaii50

    Hawaii50 Active Member

    You forgot to mention the ending.

    So Israel initiates a nuclear war with Iran. Becuase Israel is afraid Iran will destroy Israel if Iran has a nuclear weapon. Then Israel drops nuclear bombs, Damascus, Beirut, Riyahd, Tehran. Expanding their war with the Arab world. Then Israel is worried about a Russian response so it's about to bomb Russian with nuclear weapons.

    The Russian nuclear response to Israel is the Russian launch their land based ICBMs or the submarine based ICBMs. Then Israeli prime minister will call Obama the Russian attacked us, You must respond with a nuclear strike of your own.

    Respone one: Obama response, "NO, you Israel launched pre-emptive attack on Iran with nuclear weapons. Then you Israel attack, Syria, Saudi, Lebanon. Then the Russians respond with a nuclear strike on your nation. Now, you expect me to come to your aid, and risk the lives of the American people to save your nation."

    Response two: How many American citzens would be yes lets support Israel? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say the majority.

    The story continues. It's 4 a.m. American launchs nuclear a few hundered ICBM,s at Russia. America's missile shield is active awaits Russian response. 4:05 a.m. Missile shield operators incoming land base Russian ICBMs. 300 incoming Russian missiles. 4:15 a.m. Missile shield operators 50 Russian submarine launched ICBM's. General incharge at Missile shield, calls Obama, 4:16 a.m. Mr. President. We have 300 land based ICBM's and 50 submarine launched ICBM's inbound. Missile shield operator, "General, the russian missiles the warhead it's fragmenting." 4:16a.m. General "Mr. President the Russians fired missiles equipped with MIRV's." Mr. President "General whats a MIRV's." General "Mr. President it's missile equipped with muliple warheads 5 wardheads at minimum attached to each missile. The main wardhead the cradle holds five nuclear warheads. The cradle fragments in the ionosphere releases 5 nuclear warheads. Then each of warhead is independently targeted at a US city or Military base." 4:17a.m. Mr. President. "General are you saying there is a minimum of 1750 incoming nuclear warheads which are independently targeted at US base or city, at this moment." General "Yes, Mr. President I am"
    Mr. President" General where is the missile shield?" 4:18 a.m. Mr. President the missile shield is designed to target only one missile with one warhead. We can't target 1750 warheads." 4:19 a.m. Obama. "General launch a full scale nuclear retaliatory strike at Russia." General. "Mr. President if we do this the Russians will launch a full scale strike of their own it's mutually assured destruction to both countries." Mr. President "General, yes I know its mutually assured destruction to both countires. However, I can't let Israel stand alone during this war even though Israel started this war." General "Yes, Mr. President I shall order a full nuclear strike against Russia. General issues commands to subordinates." 4:21a.m. Obama calls Israeli prime minister. "Mrs. Livni I have come to your aid and issued commands to my armed forces for a full nuclear strike against Russia. Because Russia attacked you for attacking Iran. Syria, Lebonon, Saudi Arabia." Mrs. Livni "Mr. Obama, a full nuclear strike against Russia, I don't think that was a wise decision. The Russians will respond with a full nuclear strike of their own against what left of your cites and military bases." Mr. Obama. "Mrs. Livni I had to show the Russians who they are messing with. 'midlife crisis plays in the background"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9cMhZUSTtM'

    Mrs. Livni "Mr. Obama I'm truely sorrry for the total destruction of your country. Becuase of my actions."

    Then I awoke from my dream. Paying higher taxes.
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2008
  10. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    Sober, have you read Separation of Power by Vince Flynn? :happy-very: If not you should.
  11. diesel96

    diesel96 New Member

    and Russian Bears , oh my !

    Where off to see the Massiah, the wonderful Messiah of Oz......Shalom ! :crazy2:
  12. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    They absolutely would do it without asking anyone, but at the point when their planes are taking off they would be forced to notify us of what is going on, since those planes will be flying over airspace in Iraq that we control.
  13. mikestrek

    mikestrek New Member

    PRESIDENT OBAMA will be just fine boys. I look forward to the next eight (8) years. FINALY, The end of "TRICKLE DOWN" economics.
  14. passerby

    passerby New Member

    Wet dreams of washed up wastrels.

    Here comes the sun, and I'm alright...
  15. paidslave

    paidslave New Member

    Yep you must have woke up at 3 am with pee in your pants too....

    Is this fiction?
  16. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    John McCain would already be up at 3 am taking his Geritol/Viagra cocktail so he could function the following day. He'd respond to the crisis, but only after the "Lawrence Welk" re-run was done on Channel 13. Come on, any President would consider his options before going ballistic on an enemy nation, including McRage.
  17. Bad Gas!

    Bad Gas! Active Member

    Here is an example of our new tax plan....

    Our Tax System Explained: "Bar Stool Economics"

    Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten

    comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go

    something like this:

    The first four men (The poorest) would pay nothing.

    The fifth would pay $1.

    The sixth would pay $3.

    The seventh would pay $7.

    The eighth would pay $12.

    The ninth would pay $18.

    The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

    So, that's what they decided to do.

    The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the

    arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. "Since you are all

    such good customers," he said, "I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily

    beer by $20." Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

    The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the

    first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.

    But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they

    divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?' They

    realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from

    everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up

    being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be

    fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded

    to work out the amounts each should pay.

    And so:

    The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

    The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).

    The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).

    The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

    The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

    The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

    Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to

    drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare

    their savings.

    "I only got a dollar out of the $20,"declared the sixth man. He pointed to

    the tenth man," but he got $10!" "Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth

    man. "I only saved a dollar, too It's unfair that he got ten times more than

    I!" "That's true!!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back

    when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!" "Wait a minute,"

    yelled the first four men in unison. "We didn't get anything at all. The

    system exploits the poor!"

    The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

    The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down

    and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they

    discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of

    them for even half of the bill!

    And that, ladies and gentlemen, journalists and college professors, is how

    our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most

    benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being

    wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start

    drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
  18. passerby

    passerby New Member

    Bad Gas, Are you trying to take over Morelucks place with the forwarding of misrepresented emails?

    Please, keep the spam off. Be original, as if that is possible.
  19. brett636

    brett636 Well-Known Member

    Yup, now begins the age of "TRICKLE UP" poverty! Yay! :whiteflag:
  20. passerby

    passerby New Member

    Brett, I'm guesing that you are a youngster that hasn't been through this before. I hope you have 10 years in, othrwise, look forward to layoffs.

    Have any other skills besides grabbing a steering wheel?