Retirees in the Buff
- Thread starter Catatonic
- Start date
rod
Retired 22 years
moreluck
golden ticket member
---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
--- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
---I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.
---I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up!
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
--- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.
---I've still got it, but nobody wants to see it.
---I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.
---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."
---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
---Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up!
--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
moreluck
golden ticket member
CARP - Canadian Association of Retired People
Questions and Answers from CARP Forum
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 70 plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor!
Questions and Answers from CARP Forum
Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live.
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over-70 year-old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: Why should 70 plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q: Is it common for 70-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem; retrieving it is the problem.
Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q: Where should 70-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 70-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these!"
SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor!
