Retirees in the Buff

oldngray

nowhere special
truth_640_19.jpg
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Question: Among retirees, what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS.
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Signs That Old Age Might Be Creeping Up On You ...



  • You like to be in crowds because they keep you from falling down.

    Your favorite section of the newspaper is '25 Years Ago Today.'

    A big evening with your friends is sitting around comparing living wills.

    Your clothes go into the overnight bag so you can fill the suitcase with your pills.

    Somebody you consider an old-timer calls you an old-timer.

    Your idea of a change of scenery is looking to the left or right.


  • Your knees buckle, but your belt won't
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she good in bed?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'
 

Butt Buster

24YR UPAzz Buster
Retirees and Spouses are welcome as well as anyone else.
A spinoff from Nothingness Fluff for those who wake up at noon and don't bother to get dressed until they go out for a doctor's appointment or eat supper.

Here we go.
The rules! DONT be obscene.
Have fun.
@moreluck gets post number 1,000
@oldngray gets post number 2,000
@cosmo1 gets post number 3,000
@The Milkman gets post number 4,000
@rod gets post number 5,000

Let's do it but do it slow and take our time.
1yr left scared pension will be taken in next contract
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me.'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?
 

moreluck

golden ticket member
Very Disturbing - A Must Read
Is this where we are headed?


This is what all of you 70+ year olds have to look forward to:

"This is something that happened in an Assisted Living Center where my wife used to work.


The people who lived there have small apartments but they all eat at a central Cafeteria.

One morning, one of the residents didn't show up for breakfast so my wife went upstairs and knocked on his door to see if everything was OK.

She could hear him through the door and he said that he was running late and would be down shortly so she went back to the Dining area.

An hour later, he still hadn't arrived; so she went back up towards his room and she found him on the stairs.


He was coming down the stairs but was having a time.

He had a death grip on the hand rail and seemed to have trouble getting his legs to work right.

She told him she was going to call an ambulance but he told her no, he wasn't in any pain, and just wanted to have his breakfast.

So she helped him the rest of the way down the stairs and he had his breakfast.

When he tried to return to his room he was completely unable to get up even the first step so they called an ambulance for him.

A couple hours later she called the hospital to see how he was doing.

The receptionist there said he was just fine, he just had both of his legs in one leg hole of his boxer shorts."
 
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