I'd bet these boys could defeat Osama and company at the snap of a finger and have them begging to surrender to GW. All you have to do is drop them in with plenty of PR and then broadcast the movie Deliverance on all channels over there and spread the rumor these boys are those folks' kin. Just the thought of "Squeal Boy Squeal!" would end it all overnight!
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. BUT it is time to change from REDNECK humor to TRUE AMERICAN Humor! Only I don't see it as Humor, but the correct way to LIVE YOUR LIFE ! If you feel the same, pass this on to your True American friends. Ya'll know who ya' are...
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God."
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You bow your head when someone prays.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've never burned an American flag.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You'd give your last dollar to a friend.
I come from the land of rednecks and it just so happens I live in the same town as Jeff Foxworthy so there you go. We make sport of making fun of ourselves down here and in fact when we find some gullable yankee we have even more fun. For example, a couple of years ago I met a UPS management person of very northern heritage who frankly hated the fact UPS moved them down here. To be specific, they hated being around people they felt were inferior and they believed all to be the very stereo-typcial redneck without any redeeming qualities or sophisication.
To help our cause we let it get out that here in Redneck ville for New Year's Eve that we had our own version of the "Big Apple" drop but ours was the "Big Truck" drop. We actually had this guy believing that on New Year's Eve we took Bubba's old truck and tied it up in the tree and then at midnight we cut the rope and crashed the truck. He believed it enough that he rode by New Year's Eve looking for the truck and then to our delight compounded the error by scolding us on Jan. 2nd for playing such a joke. Thankfully this clown left the company many, many years ago but we took sadistic delight in playing to his beliefs in myths. Now we Southern Rednecks have our faults that have lend itself to fueling these mythical stories but be very careful when around us because if you've never been Snipe Huntin' we'll take you in a "New York Minute!"