Sorry you had to go through that. If my father follows the same path as his family he'll be at home until he enters hospice care. Not seeing too many cognitive issues now but he does have the typical elderly memory issues of one in his 80's. He drives everywhere, attends church, goes to the doctor, has lunch with my sister twice a week and eats out with old friends a couple times a month. He took his inheritance from my grandfather and tripled it to $330k in his 60's rehabbing houses. Quit that in 2008. My primary job is just being around to listen to him. Talks a lot about the old days. Beyond that I do light housekeeping and run and fetch things from the store. I may go to Argentina next year depending on his health. There's literally nothing I do that he can't do for himself other than just being here for him.
Don't be too trusting of hospice care. In our mother's final days. She was in a hospital at the time before her final trip back to the nursing home hospice called up and talked to my brother about the services it offered. It went like this:
Hospice: "We can come in and fluff her pillow and check on her condition"
Brother " Isn't that what CNA 's and social workers do?
Hospice: "We can read bible verses to her"
Brother: "She's stone deaf".
And in a snide arrogant voice hospice employee's final words before she angerly hung up were: "Oh well, the infection is going to kill her anyway".
It made it obvious that all they were looking for was billings which meant that for all intents and purposes they were looking to get paid for doing....nothing.
So don't confuse home health nurses with hospice.