what is your favorite sexual innuendo to use while working??

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by paidover95, Nov 6, 2010.

  1. paidover95

    paidover95 Member

    Thought it would be funny to share some of the innundos we use while on the route.I know a lot of us use them without getting into trouble."I have a big load for you today",I had to come in through the rear today",and the ever famous "what can brown do for you???"feel free to post some.
  2. browndevil

    browndevil Active Member

    I usually get a chuckle when a customer opens their front door before I knock and they say 'I heard you coming"
  3. paidover95

    paidover95 Member

  4. Bubblehead

    Bubblehead My Senior Picture

    That's what she said.
  5. RustyPMcG

    RustyPMcG New Member

    One of my female employees once, while signing the FedEx guy's handheld said: "The UPS guy's is so much bigger!"
  6. cachsux

    cachsux Wah

    "Do you have a package for me?"

    "Yes I do. I have this box also."
  7. Anonymous 10

    Anonymous 10 Guest

    That's not what I was looking for I was looking for a big package.
  8. over9five

    over9five Moderator Staff Member

    I think as a professional driver, this is not a good game to play. You could say something to someone you always play with, and they could be having a bad day, or it could be overheard by someone else.

    Believe me, any of you that know me KNOW I'm thinking this stuff when I'm talking to that hot blondie.... But I'm not saying it.

    I know, I'm a downer....but you're messing with your livelihood.
  9. cachsux

    cachsux Wah

    One from a feeder pickup.

    "I`m always amazed at how you guys get those big things in there."

    "It`s like anything else. Just wiggle it around and it drops right in."
  10. moreluck

    moreluck golden ticket member

    "That's what she said." (Michael Scott says it the best!!!)
  11. stevetheupsguy

    stevetheupsguy sʇǝʌǝʇɥǝndsƃnʎ

    Good one.
  12. some1else

    some1else Active Member

    My old man told me that no matter how funny "the guys" think it was your wife will not laugh when you tell her (that it got you fired)

    However i always liked how may i service you.
  13. soberups

    soberups Pees in the brown Koolaid

    I can appreciate a raunchy joke as well as the next guy, but (a) I want to keep my job and (b) I live in the same city where I deliver. My wife works at a place on my route, and my kids go to school in this town. I leave the sexual humour/innuendo at home or in the locker room where it belongs.
  14. Jones

    Jones fILE A GRIEVE! Staff Member

    I'm with Over and the Sober man on this one. It's a job, I try to keep it professional.
  15. brownmonster

    brownmonster Man of Great Wisdom

    I'll just use the defense "but they started it".
  16. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    Years ago when I worked at UPS, a certain female friend of mine and me would joke around with inuendos back and forth. Finally one of the driver sup's pulled me aside and explained that all it would take would for her to come in one day in a bad mood, file a complaint and I would be gone, no questions asked. End of story.
  17. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    We have the "Purple Promise", which is full of potential. A lot of receptionists love it when I ask them if they'd like to "experience" the Purple Promise. Not a whole lot of imagination required.
  18. robot

    robot Large Member

    I was delivering a misload to a residential stop when the regular driver showed up at the same time with another package for the customer.

    She opened the door as we walked up and said "Oh, you two are double teaming me today!".

    He other driver just turned to me and smirked I don't think she caught on to what we were thinking.
  19. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    I heard of this happening just the other day. I think its a sad testament to what the workplace has become, that one insecure prudish person, can make the whole area uncomfortable. If and when I hear something offensive, I go the other way. And that has not happened yet. If you dont "feel safe" at work because a few people are joking around, in a way you may not approve of, You have bigger problems than "a little raunch" in the workplace. And you have a severe need to control and have power.
  20. bbsam

    bbsam Moderator Staff Member

    I agree. And yet I also believe that UPS (or any work place) should not and will not be placed in a position where such it is percieved that such things are "ok".