You know you're a UPS driver if...

[MayorOfMaricamp]

...You keep reaching for your fob to start your riding mower

Or your personal vehicle.


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[cooperjake]

You press and hold the key fob walking toward a customers door expecting it to open

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[Packmule]

you buy a huge bag of dog treats every week,and you dont even own a dog

Used to! But it was always attracting dogs to the truck before I got stopped. Worried I'd run over a paw or something so I quit. It has helped some.

 

[Re-Raise]

You have leaned over and dropped a package onto your cart causing the cart to smack you in the head.

 

[Shifting Contents]

You say hello to a customer that you see every day but they don't recognize you because you aren't in your browns.

This is why I never acknowledge consignees when not in browns. Stalker vibe hard core.

Me: "Hi Sue!"
Sue's friend: "Who was that?"
Sue: "I have no idea."

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[ZQXC]

You have leaned over and dropped a package onto your cart causing the cart to smack you in the head.

If the shelf of the cart is bent upward slightly, and that package is 60 pounds of copy paper, you will see stars.

 

[govols019]

...And it will leave a mark

 

[JL 0513]

If the shelf of the cart is bent upward slightly, and that package is 60 pounds of copy paper, you will see stars.

LOL. My current 2-wheeler has that problem. Sucks. I always need to to make a a conscious effort to keep the noggin back.

 

[JL 0513]

If your hands always look dirty no matter how much you scrub them. Even with grit soap.

 

[TooTechie]

I like to use empty soda or coffee cups & just dump it in whatever yard I happen to be at at the time.


Sent while driving from my flip phone via T9 word.

I usually wait for the ones I don't like.

 

[TooTechie]

You know you're a ups driver if you've at least one time in your career had to sh** in a dr bag in the back of the truck

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Once in an absolute emergency I did when I was a little too regular...The funny thing...as with most things I've learned about driving I knew just what to do from reading BC. Stretched a DR bag across a tote. I happened to have a can of fabreeze in my bag from covering a smelly guy's route so it actually was relatively painless...I wouldn't do it again though unless it was another emergency.

 

[redrooster]

Once in an absolute emergency I did when I was a little too regular...The funny thing...as with most things I've learned about driving I knew just what to do from reading BC. Stretched a DR bag across a tote. I happened to have a can of fabreeze in my bag from covering a smelly guy's route so it actually was relatively painless...I wouldn't do it again though unless it was another emergency.

This is the type of highly confidential and sensitive information that should not be available to the general public.

 

[jumpman23]

If your hands always look dirty no matter how much you scrub them. Even with grit soap.

Gloves in the winter and keep ice in your cooler in warm weather to wash your hands with. Grab a couple ice cubes out of your cooler and wash your hands with them which I like to call THE GHETTO CAR WASH lol. Or keep a wash cloth in your cooler and wipe your hands and face off with the rag. Keeps your hands and face semi clean through out the day. TO BE AN EINSTEIN ON THIS JOB YOU GOTTA THINK LIKE EINSTEIN lol.

 

[jumpman23]

Once in an absolute emergency I did when I was a little too regular...The funny thing...as with most things I've learned about driving I knew just what to do from reading BC. Stretched a DR bag across a tote. I happened to have a can of fabreeze in my bag from covering a smelly guy's route so it actually was relatively painless...I wouldn't do it again though unless it was another emergency.

Gotta do what you gotta do. Theres a big difference between having to take a dump and the HERSHEY SQUIRTS lmfao. WORD lol.

 

[JL 0513]

Gloves in the winter and keep ice in your cooler in warm weather to wash your hands with. Grab a couple ice cubes out of your cooler and wash your hands with them which I like to call THE GHETTO CAR WASH lol. Or keep a wash cloth in your cooler and wipe your hands and face off with the rag. Keeps your hands and face semi clean through out the day. TO BE AN EINSTEIN ON THIS JOB YOU GOTTA THINK LIKE EINSTEIN lol.

I wash my hands at least 20 times a day. Hands technically get clean but still appear dirty because the dirt is embedded into the fine cracks of the skin. Perhaps not everyone has this problem but my skin is pretty rough. It's Sunday night and after 100's of washes since Friday, my hands still look dirty.

 

[jumpman23]

I get that dude. My whole thing is and if somebody wants to call me a that's fine, but its all about appearance on this job. You don't want to roll up to a business or a customer and look super dirty like your a fire fighter and you've been walking in smoke all day. That's all im saying dude lol.

 

[TooTechie]

Someone will flag you down to ask for directions for an address in Cincinnati and you are delivering in Cleveland.

and you know you're a cover driver when you can answer them

 

[jumpman23]

You know your a driver and your at a function and the person tells you who they are and you ramble their address to them like your a serial killer or something lol.

 

[TooTechie]

You know your a driver and your at a function and the person tells you who they are and you ramble their address to them like your a serial killer or something lol.

Yeah, that happened 2 weekends ago at a kid's sporting event. I was introduced to someone and I asked her if she was enjoying her new TV. Her mouth gaped and no words came out so I added,"Jerry, diagonal to you, has the same one." Her jaw dropped a bit more so my buddy jumped in and told her who I am. She apologized that she didn't recognize me but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to respond.

 

[loveland_author]

...you find yourself only making right turns with your handcart at the mall.