19 Secrets of a UPS Driver

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by Monkey Butt, Dec 10, 2014.

  1. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt You can call me Chappy Staff Member

    Already in UPS Pressroom but this needs a thread in UPS Discussions:

    http://mentalfloss.com/article/60556/19-secrets-ups-drivers
    You may have a good relationship with your UPS driver, but how much do you really know about his or her job? Here are some little-known facts from drivers who did their time.

    1. THEY’RE ALWAYS BEING WATCHED.
    2. THEY GO TO BOOTCAMP.
    3. DRIVING IN REVERSE IS DISCOURAGED.
    4. GOOD DRIVERS GET REWARDED…
    5. GREAT DRIVERS GET A BOMBER JACKET.
    6. THE TRUCKS ARE “BIG BROWN MICROWAVES.”
    7. OH, AND THEY’RE NOT TRUCKS.
    8. THEY HAVE TO SUPPLY THEIR OWN MUSIC.
    9. DOG BITES ARE PART OF THE JOB.
    10. THEY WISH YOU’D MEET THEM HALFWAY.
    11. UPS IS PICKY ABOUT SOCKS.
    12. FACIAL HAIR IS FROWNED UPON.
    13. THEY MAKE GOOD MONEY.
    14. AND THEY GET DECENT TIPS.
    15. SENIORITY MEANS BETTER ROUTES.
    16. THEY DON'T TURN LEFT.
    17. THEY’RE JUDGING YOU.
    18. YES, PEOPLE TRY TO SEDUCE THEM.
    19. THEY DELIVER SOME ODD THINGS.



    I look back on my driving daze with pleasant memories with the bad times soothed over by time.
    - Air Conditioning 2-40 (2 doors open and 40 mph) I put a cooking thermometer in the back of a P-400 and it got to 145 F.
    Set your car up in the morning when it is coolest.
    - We were all watched back then but technology makes it easier and more ubiquitous these days.
    - Good drivers get rewarded ... I recall getting extra splits but I wanted that because that meant extra money. I took a pay cut to go into management.
    Dogs - kept a sawed off 2-iron in my car (never could hit a 2 iron so I found a good use for it). Never trust a dog ... or a woman! :devil3:
    There were a few guys on my route trying to seduce me but I let them know I was not interested. There was no Indecision.
     
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  2. Secret no 20) is..........
     
  3. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    Uh let's see all of the wrong answers.

    2,4,5,12,14,16,18
     
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  4. brownmonster

    brownmonster Man of Great Wisdom

    Meaningless fluff.
     
  5. 3 done 3 to go

    3 done 3 to go In control of my own destiny

    Your a woman?
     
  6. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt You can call me Chappy Staff Member

    Don't tell Inde!
     
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  7. No. Those are man boobs.
     
  8. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt You can call me Chappy Staff Member

    I have been taking steroids for the last two weeks.
     
  9. 3 done 3 to go

    3 done 3 to go In control of my own destiny


    Changing your name to Philomina?
     
  10. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt You can call me Chappy Staff Member

    NO ... I'll keep Philofmine
     
  11. D cup?
     
  12. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt You can call me Chappy Staff Member

    P cup.
     
  13. Squatter?
     
  14. Are you sick??
     
  15. Coldworld

    Coldworld Well-Known Member

    Photog you missed the part about drivers knowing where all of the orgies are....you did drive in the 70's right??? Neighbors were real neighbors back in the day....any hot tub "parties" you care to take credit for??? We all know you rocked the Tom Selleck mustache. ...
     
  16. rod

    rod retired and happy


    I bet it was more like the Harry Reems stache


     
  17. throwbackk

    throwbackk Member

    Your ups driver just wants two things. 1) sign the :censored2:ing board promptly. 2) When I ring the bell at your dock door answer it quickly! (Looking at you walgreens and schnucks)
     
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  18. Future

    Future Well-Known Member

    If I knock at your back door.......dont answer the front and act surprised!!! wtf
     
  19. clean hairy

    clean hairy Well-Known Member

    If UPS Drivers don't turn left, who are these imposters with brown trucks and our logo on the side who ARE making left turns all the time?
     
  20. clean hairy

    clean hairy Well-Known Member