Ok, after some touch ups, these are the best I'm going with so far. Any more suggestions feel free to keep them coming
My other car is a P1000
At least we are better than Fedex Ground - NONfedex Ground Courier Driver behind the wheel
Yes I Can Park Wherever The Hell I Want - Courier Driver behind the wheel
Do not hit me, I'm always at fault and big bad brown will know! - Courier Driver behind the wheel
Does it make you feel awkward knowing I handle your package all day? - Courier Driver behind the wheel
My uniform's brown but at least my nose isn't - Courier Driver behind the wheel
Heh, the customer also said he would change the U to a V but I think that'd still get me at least suspended even if I did win the grievance.