Caught in the crossfire.

[ups1990]

Last week while leaving a medical building. I was putting my hand truck inside the pc, when a father who was parked next to me started to spank his little boy, probably around 3 years old. A secretary who signs for this office, was looking at this taking place and came outside. The two, got into a heated and profanity laced argument.

The women was telling the father to stop spanking the boy. He was saying to mind her own buss. The women was looking at me as to say, why aren't you taking my side and tell him something. My opinion on this was that, it was only light taps on the behind and with today's kids they need a little spanking. Who are we, to dicatate to any parent not to discipline their child.

I hope she doesn't make a big deal, the next time they get deliveries.

 

[Work right slow and safe]

you did the right thing stay out of it

 

[UpstateNYUPSer(Ret)]

You did the right thing in this situation; however, had the spanking been more severe, what would you have done?

When I think back to my childhood some of the discipline I received would be considered child abuse today (but I turned out OK). When my kids were young they used to get their butts spanked, not too hard but hard enough to make sure the point was made and received. Parents today try too hard to be friends with their kids rather than parents. I am in no way advocating child abuse but the situation as described above was clearly not abuse.

 

[dilligaf]

Spare the rod, spoil the child. I've heard this many times from various sources. It's true. There is nothing wrong with a spanking.

 

[rod]

The first time years ago I overheard a kid tell his mom that "you can't touch me- I'll call the cops" I knew we were in trouble. Once the schools got out of the discipline business and the kids came to realize all the had to do was yell "child abuse" things went downhill fast. I just cringe when I hear some teen or for that matter some toddler yelling profanities at their parents and all the parents do is get some phoney disappointed look on their face and say, "Oh Suzy- please don't talk to me like that". I guess its just all part of the Kinder Gentler no child left behind everyone gets a gold star society we live in now days. (boy that rant sure makes me come off as an old geezer- oh well - so be it)

 

[MonavieLeaker]

you did the right thing stay out of it

 

[sano]

You did the right thing in this situation; however, had the spanking been more severe, what would you have done?

When I think back to my childhood some of the discipline I received would be considered child abuse today (but I turned out OK). When my kids were young they used to get their butts spanked, not too hard but hard enough to make sure the point was made and received. Parents today try too hard to be friends with their kids rather than parents. I am in no way advocating child abuse but the situation as described above was clearly not abuse.

I had a conversation with a buddy about this recently. It is interesting to me how public opinion can change over time. I am not very old (30's) but think about some of the differences in social acceptance between when my parents where raising me and the world I am raising my kids in.

Racism, while still an issue we as a country struggle with, we now have a black president, something that would not have been possible back then.

Smoking, this one blows me away. It has gone from widespread to almost illegal. From "cool" to being viewed as a weakness.

There are alot of other changes and those of you who are a few years more experienced than me could see the changes even better.

I agree that the belt my dad used on me could land him in jail in today's world. But, while I don't use as strong of a hand, or for heavens sake a belt, with my children, I also know it was not child abuse. He was just trying his best to make me into a respectful young man.

 

[dannyboy]

The secretary was out of bounds, probably a liberal babe that think you need to negotiate with children.

As a foster parent, I can tell you for a fact that never ever works. That type of behavior by the parent is as tough on the kid as them totally ignoring the child.

As for belt vs hands, my hands are for teaching and loving a child, not spanking. Thats why they make belts. And my mothers favorite, the wooden spoon.

But we live in an age where our gooberment is running adds for you to turn your neighbor in for any of a multitude of reasons.

Beginning to remind me of what I have been told about pre WW2 Germany.

d

 

[dilligaf]

When I was about 14 or 15 I called my mom a biotch (actually I think it was a little more than that). She came after me with a belt. I grabbed the belt and wouldn't let go. She finally gave up and left the room. I did not consider the consequences of my actions until after my dad got home. OOOOOOPPPS! I never again called her that.

 

[cachsux]

Here`s the thing that bugs me nowadays. People will tell us how polite,courteous,and well behaved our kids are and I think to myself "Why should that be the exception?" If I our my kids would have acted the way I see some kids do my parents would have knocked us out. My wife,who was raised in a military family has never laid a hand any of our kids. She says you can spank them and it only stings for a minute but you can have them scrub the floors with a toothbrush all day long.

 

[jennie]

Last week while leaving a medical building. I was putting my hand truck inside the pc, when a father who was parked next to me started to spank his little boy, probably around 3 years old. A secretary who signs for this office, was looking at this taking place and came outside. The two, got into a heated and profanity laced argument.

The women was telling the father to stop spanking the boy. He was saying to mind her own buss. The women was looking at me as to say, why aren't you taking my side and tell him something. My opinion on this was that, it was only light taps on the behind and with today's kids they need a little spanking. Who are we, to dicatate to any parent not to discipline their child.

I hope she doesn't make a big deal, the next time they get deliveries.

You did the right thing, when I used to be out and about with my 3 boys I would get so mad at them sometimes for fighting in the stores and would be afraid to yell or spank which I should not have been.

And, just a question, as a UPS driver what if you did interfere and it got heated with you, wouldn't that cause a problem with the company, ya never know?

 

[City Driver]

since u were at work you definitely did the right thing by not getting into it

i see nothing wrong with it..i believe spanking is OK but that doesnt mean it cant me taken too far

 

[toonertoo]

I dont get it, spanking out of anger is abuse, a few wacks on the butt is OK with me. I remember when I was "cool" walking out of the house, slamming the door, telling my dad to go to Hell, and when I never heard the door slam shut, I was in deeeeeeppppp dooodooo. He rarely used that tactic on me, but when he did it was a learning process, and I can say talking nice to me and giving me a time out would not have worked. I had to be brought into reality and I was so full of my self and knew it all that a whack is all that worked.
And I dont have deep trauma over it. You screw up, you get whacked. Dont want to get whacked? Quit acting that way, worked for me.
Depends who you ask if I turned out OK or not.
Now if I see someone out of control, I would soon er say something to someone who is mfing a kid, than one who is whacking them gently. The language will bring out the Mom in me, that is unacceptable. I never heard the friend bomb til I was like 13, and it was not from Dad or Mom.

 

[Ghost in the Darkness]

When I think back to my childhood some of the discipline I received would be considered child abuse today (but I turned out OK). When my kids were young they used to get their butts spanked, not too hard but hard enough to make sure the point was made and received. Parents today try too hard to be friends with their kids rather than parents. I am in no way advocating child abuse but the situation as described above was clearly not abuse.

+1.... good post! I got a few of those excessive spankings as a kid too but spanking is necessary.

 

[29th Christmas]

Loving our kids involves disciplining them when they need it---sooner or later they will respect you for doing it.
Pick n choose your battles, but don't let everything slide.

 

[Pump Up The Volume]

The father would have been better off holding his child over a high-rise balcony

 

[UPSGUY72]

You did the right thing. We weren't there so it kind or hard to judge. Most people can tell the difference from a spanking and a beating. If the guy was beating his kid then that's a different story then I would have call the police and said something.

Then problem these days is that everyone want to tell you how to raise your children and most of them never had kids.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

You did the right thing in this situation; however, had the spanking been more severe, what would you have done?

When I think back to my childhood some of the discipline I received would be considered child abuse today (but I turned out OK). When my kids were young they used to get their butts spanked, not too hard but hard enough to make sure the point was made and received. Parents today try too hard to be friends with their kids rather than parents. I am in no way advocating child abuse but the situation as described above was clearly not abuse.

The first time years ago I overheard a kid tell his mom that "you can't touch me- I'll call the cops" I knew we were in trouble. Once the schools got out of the discipline business and the kids came to realize all the had to do was yell "child abuse" things went downhill fast. I just cringe when I hear some teen or for that matter some toddler yelling profanities at their parents and all the parents do is get some phoney disappointed look on their face and say, "Oh Suzy- please don't talk to me like that". I guess its just all part of the Kinder Gentler no child left behind everyone gets a gold star society we live in now days. (boy that rant sure makes me come off as an old geezer- oh well - so be it)

You ain't old rod, you're just tired of the bull and ready to speak your mind.

I dont get it, spanking out of anger is abuse, a few wacks on the butt is OK with me. I remember when I was "cool" walking out of the house, slamming the door, telling my dad to go to Hell, and when I never heard the door slam shut, I was in deeeeeeppppp dooodooo. He rarely used that tactic on me, but when he did it was a learning process, and I can say talking nice to me and giving me a time out would not have worked. I had to be brought into reality and I was so full of my self and knew it all that a whack is all that worked.
And I dont have deep trauma over it. You screw up, you get whacked. Dont want to get whacked? Quit acting that way, worked for me.
Depends who you ask if I turned out OK or not.
Now if I see someone out of control, I would soon er say something to someone who is mfing a kid, than one who is whacking them gently. The language will bring out the Mom in me, that is unacceptable. I never heard the friend bomb til I was like 13, and it was not from Dad or Mom.

I've been on both sides of the abuse coin. Been beat to a pulp and just whipped but good for mouthing off and such. In both cases I'm seemingly okay. On the one hand I won't abuse my children and on the other I know that a little tough love now and then will help em to grow up strong and healthy.

As for what I would have done in the 1990's case, probably the same, though I may have tried to have both parties quit with the profanity in front of the kid. JMHO, as always.

 

[dilligaf]

As far as we can tell. HEHEHE

You ain't old rod, you're just tired of the bull and ready to speak your mind.

I've been on both sides of the abuse coin. Been beat to a pulp and just whipped but good for mouthing off and such. In both cases I'm seemingly okay. On the one hand I won't abuse my children and on the other I know that a little tough love now and then will help em to grow up strong and healthy.

As for what I would have done in the 1990's case, probably the same, though I may have tried to have both parties quit with the profanity in front of the kid. JMHO, as always.

 

[reydluap]

20 some years ago, I was delivering to a local high school. As I was walking down a hallway, I met a co-workers wife and we spoke a minute or so in passing. Just as I was walking away from her, a smart ***** student came up behind her and grabbed her arm making her drop all her papers and she fell to the floor. Out of instinct, I yelled for some help. I didn't lay a hand on the little B*stard, but kept him cornered in a doorway and
used my body to block his getaway,talking to him, asking why he did what he did. Teachers and the principal came running to take the situation over.

I didn't think much about it until I returned to my center that night. A police officer was their to talk to me about ME assaulting the STUDENT! By blocking the student in the doorway, I was accused of involuntarily restraining him. I explained to the officer that this kid was out of control and I didn't know if he would attack other teachers/students in the hallway. Long story short, nothing ever happened to me. The student was kicked out of school for a while and (in those days) the UPS Management backed me and what I done. Now, if I would have touched him, it would probably have been a different outcome.

So, now a days, seeing a kid get a spanking, and knowing UPS Management would not back me for doing something. I would not have sided with the secretary. If it was a beating that the child was receiving, I would have dialed 911.

Paul