PassYouBy
Unknown Acrobat
I'm in the same boat!
I'm in the same boat!
under the radar
A Trained Professional
If you can't stay married because you work until 6:30 or 7 you have other problems.[/quote]
How true! We are enjoying year 26 and I was driving before I met her.
How true! We are enjoying year 26 and I was driving before I met her.
old brown shoe
30 year driver
I've been married 25 years and lived with my wife for 10 years before that. Many of my coworkers hourly and management have gone through divorce , some more than once. It is hard to watch anyone having those kind of issues while trying to do a demanding job such as ours. There have been times when the job weighed on our relationship but I would have quit my job first before losing my wife. A good spouse will understand and let you blow off steam and vent after work. I try to leave my job when I punch out but it's hard. I always ask my wife how her day went first, we are not the only ones who have tough days at work.
moreluck
golden ticket member
Old brownshoe....talking about bringing worries home reminded me of this story............
[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]The Worry Tree ![/FONT]
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica]The Carpenter I hired to help me restore and old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.
On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree", he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"Funny thing is", he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
"Oh, that's my trouble tree", he replied. "I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again."
"Funny thing is", he smiled, "when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before."
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Sammie
Well-Known Member
Mr. Feeder Guy was divorced twice while at UPS, I was divorced once before we met. But I worked there also so we both understood what the other one was going through as far as someone coming home tired and grumpy...
Funny you should bring up the Pool Boy, Cement. I 'll never live down
the guy who came to service our hot tub, left a free box of chemicals and came back again to "check up" on things... (He was cute, too...)
(We still celebrated 19 years this summer)
Marriage is difficult for everyone, not just UPSers.
Tony and I have been married for 25 years. I agree with moreluck, it really helps a marriage to be good friends and respect each other's opinions and company. A good sense of humor is very important too.
The long hours Tony spent at UPS were the most difficult for us when our daughter was young. Many of our friends that didn't work at UPS had more difficult scheduling challenges so I don't think UPSers experience anything out of the ordinary. Life and marriage are difficult for everyone.
I also experienced a UPS lifestyle when I was a child. My dad worked for UPS during it's expansion across the US and as a child our family moved a couple of times to accomodate his career. Was it a problem? Not for me, we moved from Akron, Ohio, to Atlanta, Georgia, when I was 6. We moved to Orange County, California, when I was 12.
I still live in Orange County 35 years later and have no regrets about the path that brought me here. My parents had been married for 35 years when my father died at 57. Most of my parent's UPSer friends are still married, that is if both spouses are still alive...
I am grateful for every moment I have and everyone I share it with. Life is short, don't take it for granted. I don't think that UPSers have it any rougher than anyone else. Life and marriage are difficult for all of us, sometimes it just doesn't work out.
Tony and I have been married for 25 years. I agree with moreluck, it really helps a marriage to be good friends and respect each other's opinions and company. A good sense of humor is very important too.
The long hours Tony spent at UPS were the most difficult for us when our daughter was young. Many of our friends that didn't work at UPS had more difficult scheduling challenges so I don't think UPSers experience anything out of the ordinary. Life and marriage are difficult for everyone.
I also experienced a UPS lifestyle when I was a child. My dad worked for UPS during it's expansion across the US and as a child our family moved a couple of times to accomodate his career. Was it a problem? Not for me, we moved from Akron, Ohio, to Atlanta, Georgia, when I was 6. We moved to Orange County, California, when I was 12.
I still live in Orange County 35 years later and have no regrets about the path that brought me here. My parents had been married for 35 years when my father died at 57. Most of my parent's UPSer friends are still married, that is if both spouses are still alive...
I am grateful for every moment I have and everyone I share it with. Life is short, don't take it for granted. I don't think that UPSers have it any rougher than anyone else. Life and marriage are difficult for all of us, sometimes it just doesn't work out.
Both my parents made it the second time around and are happily married. Believe it or not, my father and his wife visit my sister and I at my mother's house for every major holiday
Just goes to show you, not everyone is bitter over a divorce, sometimes, just not the right person to be with forever.
What a beautiful relationship for all the families!!
Just goes to show you, not everyone is bitter over a divorce, sometimes, just not the right person to be with forever.
What a beautiful relationship for all the families!!
Brownnblue
Well-Known Member
Any stats on this, divorce rate among UPS employees vs. that of other big companies and/or national average?
satellitedriver
Moderator
IMHO,
Statistics be damned.
Many people "get married", I took a "vow of marriage".
Some may think it is only a semantic difference, but in my mind there is one.
Hard times, good times are shared and worked out together.
I do not deserve the Grace of marrying my wife, but I try and earn it daily.
The "job",no matter the employer, is secondary to the common goal of marriage.
30yrs, come this June for us.
And, that ain't even half long enough for me.
PAX
govols019
You smell that?
My dad meets me at my mother and step-dads house every year for Christmas morning. It's a wonderful thing for people to get along. Heck, when my dad needs serious carpentry help he calls my step-dad.
My parents divorced when I was 7. It never bothered me. I was just glad to not hear them fighting anymore. I'm just glad they didn't stay together for my sake. Them getting divorced was in the best interest of all three of us. My mother could be a very demanding woman when she was younger. People used to say that it wasn't the fear of God that motivated me it was the fear of my mother.
My parents divorced when I was 7. It never bothered me. I was just glad to not hear them fighting anymore. I'm just glad they didn't stay together for my sake. Them getting divorced was in the best interest of all three of us. My mother could be a very demanding woman when she was younger. People used to say that it wasn't the fear of God that motivated me it was the fear of my mother.
Cementups
Box Monkey
I had actually heard once that the divorce rate for UPS drivers was 70%. I would think it sounds high but there are a crap load of drivers in both our centers here that have been divorced or even going thru a divorce.
trplnkl
555
IMO, the secret to any long term relationship is realizing that every thing is not about ME. Both parties must know that fact.
Now having said that, my first wife and I divorced after 33 years. been single now for 7 years. As someone said earlier, sometimes you get to the point you just can't live with someone any longer. The only way that UP$ contributed to the big D was the amount of money that I made. The higher income fostered a spend now pay later attitude that caused only a small portion of our problems. I do not now nor did I ever feel hate for my EX. Since the D, I have been at her house for every Thanksgiving, Christmas eve and day plus for family birthday parties. We get along fine and she just loves my "lady friend" that I plan on marrying this March. Heck we may even have the wedding in the Exes back yard.
One of our mechanics has been divorced 3 times in the 23 years I have worked @ UP$. I think that the biggest problem for his lack of success in matrimony was the fact he worked nights, all of his Exes were caught messin round.
Naw, this is one aspect of life that I can't blame on UP$. It's how you handle stress and adversity that makes a difference. One's job/ career should not define who you are, just what you do to make living expenses.
Now having said that, my first wife and I divorced after 33 years. been single now for 7 years. As someone said earlier, sometimes you get to the point you just can't live with someone any longer. The only way that UP$ contributed to the big D was the amount of money that I made. The higher income fostered a spend now pay later attitude that caused only a small portion of our problems. I do not now nor did I ever feel hate for my EX. Since the D, I have been at her house for every Thanksgiving, Christmas eve and day plus for family birthday parties. We get along fine and she just loves my "lady friend" that I plan on marrying this March. Heck we may even have the wedding in the Exes back yard.
One of our mechanics has been divorced 3 times in the 23 years I have worked @ UP$. I think that the biggest problem for his lack of success in matrimony was the fact he worked nights, all of his Exes were caught messin round.
Naw, this is one aspect of life that I can't blame on UP$. It's how you handle stress and adversity that makes a difference. One's job/ career should not define who you are, just what you do to make living expenses.
I had been with UPS for about 5 months as a back up preloader, I went to work that morning, went to school that afternoon, and when i came home arround 2pm, I walked in to a empty house and she was gone. UPS had nothing to do with the Divorce I married her while I was in the Marines...
Worst part of it was that this was her second time to leave me, the first time was when I got home from my 7 month 'vacation' in Iraq, expecting a hug and a kiss... instead getting a restraining order and a empty bank account...
But in the end it's just money, and I gained the experience... And yes if I do it again "PRE-NUP" hands down.
The one good thing about the Divorce was i started my 401K 2 months after she had left, so I dont have to give her half of it when I retire!
Worst part of it was that this was her second time to leave me, the first time was when I got home from my 7 month 'vacation' in Iraq, expecting a hug and a kiss... instead getting a restraining order and a empty bank account...
But in the end it's just money, and I gained the experience... And yes if I do it again "PRE-NUP" hands down.
The one good thing about the Divorce was i started my 401K 2 months after she had left, so I dont have to give her half of it when I retire!
upsdude
Well-Known Member
My parents were married 64 years when my father passed away. They were 16 and 17 years of age when they said the “I Do’s”. Dad worked 6 and 7 days a week until he retired. His last 20 working years included a lot of 16-18 hour days, way more hours than I’ll ever put in at UPS. Mom always supported Dad in his work and made sure the homestead was under control. Friends and family always commented that after all those years, they still acted like they were teenagers in love.
I’m very fortunate that my wife has zero issues with my working hours. During the month of December she will not ask me to do anything that can’t wait until peak is over. My father in law is retired military, he spent months and years away from his family. So me working a 10-12 hour day isn’t anything my wife can’t handle.
I’m sure a spouses job could have a negative impact on a marriage, maybe leading to a divorce. I suspect however that the job is just a quick excuse in most cases.
I’m very fortunate that my wife has zero issues with my working hours. During the month of December she will not ask me to do anything that can’t wait until peak is over. My father in law is retired military, he spent months and years away from his family. So me working a 10-12 hour day isn’t anything my wife can’t handle.
I’m sure a spouses job could have a negative impact on a marriage, maybe leading to a divorce. I suspect however that the job is just a quick excuse in most cases.
rod
Retired 22 years
Rat Fink forever
surviv'n_it
Well-Known Member
I finalized my divorce a year and a half ago. I had to get paperwork from my local union in regards to my pension. I found out at that time there were so many divorces among drivers that they had a full time position for someone to handle all the paperwork regarding everything a divorce would impact in regards to insurance and pensions.
I was told there was a 70% divorce rate among drivers in my area.
I was told there was a 70% divorce rate among drivers in my area.
rod
Retired 22 years
I was divorced twice before I ever started at UPS. And now I have been with one who keeps me around for 6 yrs, and we lived together (yes in sin, and it was luscious) for 6 yrs. So while the hours can suck, its the person you are with, for better or worse, that makes the marriage.
We look forward to my time off, and we make the best of it. Divorce is not even in my vocabulary, Im not starting over again. Some of the guys I work with totally spoiled thier wives only to get the big bone. I say date, and see how the other handles it, if they are sniveling how they need more time together, then they are too needy to be married to anyone, and definetely not you. Move on friend. If they handle it well and enjoy you, then it can be great, the last thing anyone needs with a demanding job, is a needy spouse. As for the kids, well, you knew what the hours were when you got into it. Some families can adjust others cant. I dont see a way to fix it in this job. The hours unfortunately are for most positions from 8 or 9 to 7 or whatever, and that is the day.
We look forward to my time off, and we make the best of it. Divorce is not even in my vocabulary, Im not starting over again. Some of the guys I work with totally spoiled thier wives only to get the big bone. I say date, and see how the other handles it, if they are sniveling how they need more time together, then they are too needy to be married to anyone, and definetely not you. Move on friend. If they handle it well and enjoy you, then it can be great, the last thing anyone needs with a demanding job, is a needy spouse. As for the kids, well, you knew what the hours were when you got into it. Some families can adjust others cant. I dont see a way to fix it in this job. The hours unfortunately are for most positions from 8 or 9 to 7 or whatever, and that is the day.
