Divorce, UPS style

reydluap

Well-Known Member
First off, "more". 40 years! That's great! may you have many "more"!

My bride and I have been married quite a while. In the younger years, she always wanted me to "go for a walk" or "go grocery shopping" with her after I got off work. She never really "got it" that I was just wore out and tired. Then four or five years ago, UPS said spouses could be driver helpers. She signed up and went on the route with me for 4 weeks during peak. After her tour with working at UPS, she understands when I say I'm tired. She doesn't ask me to do all the domestic things during the week.

Also, She got to meet the "girls" (as I call them) on my route that I see every day. She has became good friends with them and either goes to lunch or goes shopping with them on her days off work. We both get a kick out of me running into her and "the girls" out on the town somewere when I'm delivering........I make them buy me lunch....LOL!!!

My bride and I have learned to make the best out of UPS work hours. Do they stink....Yes. But do the hours have to control our lives, NO WAY!
 

upsgrunt

Well-Known Member
First off, "more". 40 years! That's great! may you have many "more"!

My bride and I have been married quite a while. In the younger years, she always wanted me to "go for a walk" or "go grocery shopping" with her after I got off work. She never really "got it" that I was just wore out and tired. Then four or five years ago, UPS said spouses could be driver helpers. She signed up and went on the route with me for 4 weeks during peak. After her tour with working at UPS, she understands when I say I'm tired. She doesn't ask me to do all the domestic things during the week.

Also, She got to meet the "girls" (as I call them) on my route that I see every day. She has became good friends with them and either goes to lunch or goes shopping with them on her days off work. We both get a kick out of me running into her and "the girls" out on the town somewere when I'm delivering........I make them buy me lunch....LOL!!!

My bride and I have learned to make the best out of UPS work hours. Do they stink....Yes. But do the hours have to control our lives, NO WAY!

I want so badly for my wife to be my helper at peak, (so she can see my point of view) but I'm afraid she won't be able to last the four weeks and that it might be "too much". How did your wife handle it and how old was she?
 

grami72

Active Member
If you have any statistics showing the divorce rate is higher among UPSer' and the general population (besides "I heard" or "the union says, I'd love to see it. I've always thought that if your marriage is in trouble, and your job causes it, if you stay with your job you have made your decision. Don't blame UPS for your decision. You chose the job. There just may be other factors here leading to the divorce.
Just my opinion.
By the way, retired a couple years ago, but made it 32 good years with the same job and the same job.
Peace
 

reydluap

Well-Known Member
I want so badly for my wife to be my helper at peak, (so she can see my point of view) but I'm afraid she won't be able to last the four weeks and that it might be "too much". How did your wife handle it and how old was she?

At the time. She was 39 years of age. First night....I had to rub her feet...LOL!!! But after that, she kept right up with me. I did have to bring home "take out supper" a few nights though.
 

helenofcalifornia

Well-Known Member
I started at UPS in the late 70's when there was no 401k, just the Thrift Plan. And when the 401k plan started you had to have worked at the company at least 5 years. (Am I right on that? I think I am) Well, anyway, I had the "foresight" to know that I may not be getting a divorce that year but probably would in a couple of years. (Damn alcohol!) So I didn't sign up for a 401k until after the divorce. Probably saved me a lot of money in the divorce splitup. Probably also cost me a ton of money the way money compounds, but he didn't get ANY!!!!!!! Oh, oh, I guess I am a little harboring a little bit of hostility the divorce. Wouldn't mind getting married again, but with a prenup in place.
 

Channahon

Well-Known Member
My parents were married 64 years when my father passed away. They were 16 and 17 years of age when they said the “I Do’s”. Dad worked 6 and 7 days a week until he retired. His last 20 working years included a lot of 16-18 hour days, way more hours than I’ll ever put in at UPS. Mom always supported Dad in his work and made sure the homestead was under control. Friends and family always commented that after all those years, they still acted like they were teenagers in love.

I’m very fortunate that my wife has zero issues with my working hours. During the month of December she will not ask me to do anything that can’t wait until peak is over. My father in law is retired military, he spent months and years away from his family. So me working a 10-12 hour day isn’t anything my wife can’t handle.

I’m sure a spouses job could have a negative impact on a marriage, maybe leading to a divorce. I suspect however that the job is just a quick excuse in most cases.

Thanks for sharing such a wonderful, heart warming story of your parents.
And it sounds like you and your wife are following their footsteps.
 

Cementups

Box Monkey
I'm torn on whether I would want my wife to be my runner/helper or not. She would be a great worker, no doubt, but I am sure I would hear about it later that she did all the work and all I did was drive and point.
 

tunemixer

Well-Known Member
I agree . You must be friends first. We will be celebrating 30 years in March. We have been to hell and back. If we have survived through that we can handle UPS. Its easy to pack it in these days. Its a committment that both have to want and work at. My wife is self emeployed. She works evenings sometimes so I go home and fetch for myself.I do dishes, vacuum , laundry and shop. It is a 50/50 deal. I don't expect a hot meal waiting for me every night. She has a life too. Being married to my wife has made me a better person. I hope those of you thinking of doing it are doing for the right reasons. Good luck to you. It ain't easy but its all worth it!!!
 

upsgrunt

Well-Known Member
I've always been told there is no such thing as a "successful marriage". The best we can do is a succeeding marriage, implying that it is always a work in progress. It is too easy to quit these days instead of living up to your vows and promises and being sorry for mistakes and forgiving those against you.
 

over9five

Moderator
Staff member
"I may be naive and idealistic but to me "pre-nup" means "I don't trust you." Probably not a good way to start a lifetime marriage "commitment."

I agree. You're actually planning your divorce before you're even married. You are planning to fail, so you probably will.
 

Brown Dog

Brown since 81
I think most Ups people are honest, I think alot of divorces are caused by someone cheating. I'm guessing that the majority of UPS divorces have less to do with the job and more to do with other irreconcilable differences. I work hard at my job but find myself giving less extra because IMO UPS cares less about me than ever before. I try to work harder at my marriage because I know I can always do better. Also, this being my 2nd one, I feel very fortunate to have a dependable, loving, partner in life. That said, it's still a job that needs to be constantly upgraded as we all change as we get older. Patience, kindness, forgiveness are excellent virtues to help sustain a loving marriage. But we can still disagree over the simplest of things, and then laugh afterwards.:peaceful:
 

tiegirl

tiegirl
I got a divorce while I was working for UPS however it had nothing to do with UPS. I had been seperated 3 years before I started working for UPS. As the reason most marriages end it does not have anything to do with where you work but how you and your spouse get along. Please let me marry a UPS driver who makes enough to make life nice. I will be there everynite when he gets home and up in the morning to cook breakfast for him before he goes to work and all in between doing what he wants me to do with pleasure to do it. It is not the job, it is the person. What I would not give to know I would have my guy walking in the door after working all day for me. I would be there for him in more ways than one.
 

Coldworld

60 months and counting
I got a divorce while I was working for UPS however it had nothing to do with UPS. I had been seperated 3 years before I started working for UPS. As the reason most marriages end it does not have anything to do with where you work but how you and your spouse get along. Please let me marry a UPS driver who makes enough to make life nice. I will be there everynite when he gets home and up in the morning to cook breakfast for him before he goes to work and all in between doing what he wants me to do with pleasure to do it. It is not the job, it is the person. What I would not give to know I would have my guy walking in the door after working all day for me. I would be there for him in more ways than one.

Ok, is anyone else thinking what I am right now????? Is this the female version of tieguy....hell... theyre comming out of the woodwork!!!
 
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