She hardly cooks, and I knew that when we got married, but I enjoy cooking its just hard to do getting home from work after 8. We both clean, I am way more anal about it than her, and most of the time we grocery shop together. I take care of the cars, yard, do most all of my laundry. Its hard coming home from work and she is sitting on the couch and doesn't even acknowledge me walking in the door. We have a dog and most of the time I think to myself just run the vacuum and clean up the dog hair.
I am just curious why you reached out to this board for "reasonable" advice?? But I am going to give you my two cents since you asked for it...
Your situation can be handled in many ways, and interpreted in many ways. In your case, you have already answered your own question.
"Its hard coming home from work and she is sitting on the couch and doesn't even acknowledge me walking in the door"
As a veteran driver who has seen this scenario before amongst my younger drivers, It really time to DIVEST yourself of this woman.
You have to look at it differently than a relationship, mainly cause you dont have one. If you have this many questions at this stage, then you are missing something.
That something? Probably an affair. I have seen this a million times. Same circumstances, same behaviors.
You have to look at this in a financial sense. The longer you are married to this person, the more you will
OWE her when it finally falls apart and she leaves you for the cute doctor at work.
Depending on your state, you could be on the hook for a large portion of money if you stay 10 or more years. In california, you would only be on the hook for 1/2 time for less than 10 years.
Do yourself a favor and DONT have any kids, this would ruin your life and not improve it. The last thing you want to do is bring a child into the middle of conflict and separation. Kids dont fix anything.
If your wife isnt in to you, which by your description, she isnt, then its time to call it quits. You both live in different worlds, and no matter what you do to try and merge those lives together, it will never connect.
If you are living a life where you feel like a room mate instead of a husband, then what more is there to discuss?
Get out while it will cost you less. The longer you stay, the more you will pay for that decision.
"She hardly cooks, and I knew that when we got married"
I am sure you knew a lot more about her than you are revealing but were willing to look the other way just to make it happen, a mistake a lot of men make.
"HA I have no life right now."
All the more reason to get out of this life and find a new life with someone who will respect you, honor you and live alongside you as a partner.
"Shes goes out shopping and to eat with friends and I come home make dinner and go to bed"
This is the behavior of a person who is building a wall between herself and her marriage. It will only be a matter of time before that wall is high enough to block you out completely and the fighting will start, the name calling will get worse and you will spend each day scratching your head and asking yourself when this marriage fell off the tracks.
But what you should know, is that the train has already derailed.
It really doesnt matter what she doesnt like about you or your job. If she isnt "in" to you, then nothing else matters, as you will never change that.
Remember, she works around doctors and nurses and other people in her industry, while you work for a truck driving company.
You and I realize how hard you work, and what you go through, but she will never look at it that way. Her world may have taken over her life and your life may seem a little "crappy" to her.
"We have considered it but both agreed counseling wouldnt help. We do communicate really so that was a plus. "
This speaks volumes. There is no
PLUS in hearing that counseling wouldnt help.
Seeing this kind of situation a dozen times before, maybe you should consider that she only needed a lilypad to get through schooling before she
LEAPED out of the marriage once she was rolling on her own.
In reality, your job has nothing to do with your situation. This has to do with her and her mindset.
"For the past year or so my wife and I have been having alot of issues and divorce has been brought up several times"
At times, marriages start to unwind. One piece at a time, one excuse after another. Your situation is not unique at all. You may have gone into this marriage willing to work hard ( and by your description, you have) and with a good attitude, but your wife may have done the same, but something changed and if the conversations filter down to bringing divorce into that conversation, then there is something else interfering in your marriage.
If you were my friend, I would tell you honestly that is more likely that she is having an affair and all this conflict is simply your wife trying to clear her conscience by bringing conflict into your daily life so she doesnt feel bad when she is spending time with the affair.
I guarantee you, that it is she that brings up divorce long before you do.
It sounds like you are searching for answers and solutions rather than reasons to hit the front door and I am sure she is looking for excuses to not address any issues.
Just remember, you will never really find all the answers you are seeking and hanging on to a dream that isnt her dream will only cost you a ton of money. The more you make the more you will owe HER.
Think about it financially before you try to work around her excuses. Living a life where you stare at the front door is no way to live. The stress isnt worth it.
MAIN SOURCE: Looking at the front door
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kokGh5XWQ8U
TOS.
