If drivers set rules for the suits

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by Mr Mcfeely, Oct 29, 2018.

  1. Mr Mcfeely

    Mr Mcfeely Shpeedy Delivery!

    I thought it would be a good idea for drivers to lay down some "changes" for the suits. These changes would save the company $. Good for a laugh at least, feel free to add your ideas.

    Lets start here,

    1. The bathrooms will be permanently closed to house the droid 224 units. Their primary function will be answering phone calls and emails during the weekend. So from now on you will have to find a new location to tend to your "business". Remember to stay hydrated!

    2. Air conditioning units will be removed and replaced with windows and water stations. A large fan may be provided.

    3. All office chairs are to be traded in for the newest Eco friendly freightliner / workhorse folding chair models.

    4. Only 1 janitor will be allowed for every 600 office workers, if your office has 602 workers. You may have another janitor.

    5. Any UPS my choice customers may track your current location, and be notified when you sit or leave your desk.

    6. If you jam the printer/fax, break a coffee mug or scratch the paint on your folding chair will be considered an accident.

    7. Paper cuts or carpal tunnel injuries will require your supervisor to work with you the following day.
     
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  2. BrownThunder

    BrownThunder Active Member

    Every time my diad goes off, you take a shot
     
  3. Benben

    Benben Working on a new degree, Masters in BS Detecting!

    so the question becomes, "a shot of what or at who?"
     
  4. FrigidFTSup

    FrigidFTSup Resident Suit

    I had high hopes for this thread, didn’t even find one humorous enough to blow air out of my nose
     
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  5. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    Wanna grab a hot chocolate?
     
  6. Mr Mcfeely

    Mr Mcfeely Shpeedy Delivery!

    I know your a sup and all, regardless feel free to add something.

    I have been told numerous times not to quit my day job for a career in comedy :youreright:
     
  7. FrigidFTSup

    FrigidFTSup Resident Suit

    6868DB93-8819-40CC-A06E-F632C2537A5D.gif
     
  8. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    I'll even bring some of those mini Marshmallows
     
  9. FrigidFTSup

    FrigidFTSup Resident Suit

    Oh sure, beat on management and then ask us to fix it. Not this time pal
     
  10. FrigidFTSup

    FrigidFTSup Resident Suit

    How about whipped cream?
     
  11. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    That I make from scratch
     
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  12. FrigidFTSup

    FrigidFTSup Resident Suit

    11B86C67-F10E-4B46-BDFE-11C6100AC596.gif
     
  13. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    Are those black walls? Oh gurl!
     
  14. FrigidFTSup

    FrigidFTSup Resident Suit

    But with that floor doe...
     
  15. Indecisi0n

    Indecisi0n Well-Known Member

    That's still going to be very difficult to pull off. Better get some nice furniture in there to help break that up.
     
  16. Wally

    Wally BrownCafe Innovator & King of Puns

    No guns in the workplace.
     
  17. WorkinLateHuh

    WorkinLateHuh Active Member

    8. If you’re out more than 2 days sick you dont need a doctor’s note. In fact the longer you’re gone the better. This place runs better without you