My Private Part died

[chev]

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
>
> One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
>
> Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,
>
> 'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr Wallace.
>
> 'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'
>
> Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little
> crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my
> condolences.'
>
> The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his
> Private Part hanging out of his pajamas..
>
> He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking

> down the hall like that.
>
> Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'
>
> 'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr.
> Wallace. 'I told you yesterday that
> my Private Part died.
>
> 'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging
> out of your pajamas?'
>
>
> 'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'

 

[Big Babooba]

Think about it, you won't need Viagra when rigor mortis sets in.

 

[BLACKBOX]

I know many of you deliver to retirement homes or critical care homes. There is only one way to describe the smell, very close to a funeral home.

 

[soberups]

Did you hear about the 92 yr.-old man who got arrested for trying to have sex with a 19 year old woman?

Due to his advanced age, the DA decided to reduce the charges from attempted rape to assault with a dead weapon.