UPS Appearance Standards Guidelines For 2019 v. 2.0 (Part 2)

Captain Qwark

"I don't deserve these bulbous buttocks."
7) Hair is now required to be washed once a week and combed through every other week. Acceptable hair colors include natural, as well as blue, purple, orange, pink, etc. Rule of thumb will be "When in doubt, try it out".

8) Man buns are now looked upon as favorable as long as said bun does not exceed five (5) inches in height and circumference.

9) Tattoos, earrings and body piercings are now required and can be any size/shape and on the most visible area(s) of the body for customer perusal and driver show-offishness.

10) White socks will phase out brown or black. Calf length is ideal, but ankle length will do in a pinch. Again, Center Managers have been instructed to "look the other way" in the event of length discrepancy.

11) Any type/color of jacket, sweatshirt or shirt may be worn over the UPS shirt as it makes a fashion statement.

12) Shoe type will now include any color/style/height as long as they are paired with white or no socks. Treadless and non-polishable shoes are now the Gold Standard.

13) Compliance will be mandatory beginning January 1, 2019