Scoot
Well-Known Member
If you truly believe that "real men don't divorce their wives no matter how hard it gets" then you and I have very different definitions of "real men" and "hard".
Integrity
Binge Poster
Scoot,
That may very well be the case.
That may make for a good discussion topic in the Life After Brown sub forum.
Sincerely,
I
Indecisi0n
Well-Known Member
I agree people are too quick to take the easy road and get a divorce but if two people are hurting each other (emotionally/physically) then in many cases its better to split ties.
ORLY!?!
Master Loader
My situation shouldnt concern anyone.
I only suggest a prenup for anyone who gets married. Theres been stories here and at my HUB about the women taking so much of what the guy had earned, while she never worked for it. The video, the lawyer has great advice. Why would you let someone you dont know, like a judge, choose who gets what. And most women push for 50% of eveything.
I love how couples, as in the video and here at UPS always claim, aww we'll be together forever and ever! Theres plenty of couples that have lived with each other for decades, and then one day it isnt right anymore.
Overall its only a suggestion, and a smart one at that. Pretending it wont happen to you, is foolish thinking.
RitchieDavies
Trollkiller
Heh, I don't know what's up with the negative response to ORLY!?!. I suppose Re-Raise feels some special kinda way about this topic and his wife, but that response if you ask me, was unnecessary. I have to agree with ORLY!?!, because the truth of the matter is: the days of our parents and grandparents staying together forever after being married are long over. After all, take a good look at the divorce rate today... and I hope you don't think you can't be a part of that statistic. I mean, love aside, if you've been in relationships before you were married then you should know, that sometimes... hell freezes over and things in a relationship can go sour. And in some cases, the woman you've been loving one day turns into a totally different person...
Someone earlier on here once said something along the lines of "Getting a Prenup is planning on your marriage to fail." but I have to disagree with that as a prenuptial agreement is just a safeguard in case things DO go wrong and once again, they CAN go wrong. This is just reality; and in an ideal world, things like this wouldn't be necessary, but if you wish to protect the money and things that you've put your sweat, blood and tears into (and no one should fault someone for doing just that) then it is.
Sure, she might be hurt from you asking for one, (which she shouldn't because if she doesn't want to marry you after you asking her for one, then you probably should think about what she's really after...) but you're gonna be hurting when or if she takes half of your possessions, all the while she was probably sitting on her duff while you were working. Money doesn't grow on trees, or so the saying goes.
But to each his own... I'm sorry if I come of as an ass or something of the sort. I'm just very blunt and don't sugarcoat, which I guess... causes people to perceive me as one... then again, who knows? Ha, maybe I am an ass.
RitchieDavies
Trollkiller
So if you separated, would you honestly be okay with her getting half of you possessions?
Re-Raise
Well-Known Member
Absolutely. They are OUR possessions. She made more money when I was going to college, I make more now.
Have you or your little buddy Orly ever been in a serious relationship? I would think someone with nothing would get laughed at by a woman when you suggest a prenup.
Bottom line is if you want to be independent, why get married? Why not amass your fortune solo?
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Re-Raise
Well-Known Member
Okay, I was confused. I thought you were suggesting a prenup for people that weren't getting married.
ORLY!?!
Master Loader
A prenup is to keep the things you have made or bought. Like money, house, car, stock and many other things. It is an agreement on both sides on who gets what. Perhaps she bought the house, and you bought both cars. Maybe you would like to keep the both cars after a divorce. Or maybe she divorces you and takes the one she never paid for.
Like I've said before, a lot of harm can be done to you just on paper. So looking out for yourself isnt a bad thing, its the grown up thing to do.
You can know someone forever, marry and live a happy life. But never knowing if that person is going to change at any moment. One of my buddies grandfather was married for like 40 some odd years. And then one day up and divorced his wife for someone else near the same age. So knowing someone today just might change tomarrow. I suggest, prenup, and protect the money you have and will make in the future.
S
serenity now
Guest
Marriage license should be like a fishing license.......
Get to decide every 2 years if you want to renew it.
Get to decide every 2 years if you want to renew it.
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stevetheupsguy
sʇǝʌǝʇɥǝndsƃnʎ
Your suggestion is duly noted, but I can't help to hear/read the paranoia in your post. Your love must be different than the love I was taught. I WILL NOT live my life fearing the day she leaves. I will love her 100%, no holding back because she's "capable" of getting half.
Love this!
A
anonymous6
Guest
once a boy turns about 11, give him a reversible vasectomy. would prevent a lot of problems.
RitchieDavies
Trollkiller
"Have you or your little buddy Orly ever been in a serious relationship?" ...I have and am in one currently, but as ORLY!?! has pointed out, this isn't about me. But to be fair, it's not about you either since you're already married and are obviously against a prenuptial agreement. I say that just to remind you that I'm not judging you at the end of the day; it's your marriage and your money (and possessions for that matter) do what you wish, I just personally think that a person getting one would be wise. It's all my opinion, nothing more.
"I would think someone with nothing would get laughed at by a woman when you suggest a prenup." Then she shouldn't have any problem signing one then, no?
"Bottom line is if you want to be independent, why get married? Why not amass your fortune solo?" ...I suppose, but why should she get half of everything you have before and after marrying her? A man is never gonna get half of what a woman possesses when they split, so how is that fair? The only way I could MAYBE see a divorce settlement as somewhat fair is if you had children under 18 and she didn't have a job, meaning she virtually has nothing when you split. If you're both working, have separate bank accounts (which I'd also agree on btw) and could support yourselves off your own income, why should she be able to live comfortably with her new BF/Husband with half of your possessions?!? Now you seem like a fair man, so if you were to divorce a woman even with a prenup, I'm sure you wouldn't just leave her with nothing (unless... you divorced for other reasons). But with a prenup, if the marriage ended badly, she couldn't spitefully by law, take it, you see? That's all I'm saying.
But I digress...
Once again, I'm not ****ting on your marriage, I wish you well. This is pretty much the reasons why one should have a prenup vs the reasons why one shouldn't have one to me. Conflicting opinions, in other words. I'm not referring to your marriage specifically.
RitchieDavies
Trollkiller
'Nuff said.
RitchieDavies
Trollkiller
Heh, if that were the case, I'm sure you'd see a whole lot more divorces, I'd bet.
cachsux
Wah
Be easier to just tack it on as an article on our contract and renegotiate it every five years.
Re-Raise
Well-Known Member
I can't believe how selfish you guys are Orly and RitchieDavies. I assume you are both young and don't have any real life experience.
What would you do if you married someone and they became ill? Would you care for them or would keep a balance sheet to track how much they were costing you?
Married people who are in love don't keep things separate and they don't keep score. We are a unit facing life's challenges together.
Do you plan to keep a score card on how much your kids cost you? Do you keep track of all your relationships with people to make sure you come out ahead?
My uncle's wife has Alzheimer' disease. He spends his days trying to make her life the best it can be. That is love boys. You two sound like takers not givers and I hope my daughters never end up marrying someone like you guys.
What would you do if you married someone and they became ill? Would you care for them or would keep a balance sheet to track how much they were costing you?
Married people who are in love don't keep things separate and they don't keep score. We are a unit facing life's challenges together.
Do you plan to keep a score card on how much your kids cost you? Do you keep track of all your relationships with people to make sure you come out ahead?
My uncle's wife has Alzheimer' disease. He spends his days trying to make her life the best it can be. That is love boys. You two sound like takers not givers and I hope my daughters never end up marrying someone like you guys.
RitchieDavies
Trollkiller
Ha, now that was unnecessary, you being condescending I mean. I may very well be young, but I am a man, not a boy and my youth doesn't make my point any less valid. One doesn't have to live long to realize that life is filled with disappointments and that in this world, people screw each other over no matter how close they are said to be. I thought we were taught that as children... ehh, I suppose not all of us were. Allowing yourself to be blinded to this fact by feelings like "love" is what I'd call childish. Things don't always go as you wish and people are not always what they say they are - THAT is a fact.
"What would you do if you married someone and they became ill? Would you care for them or would keep a balance sheet to track how much they were costing you? Do you plan to keep a score card on how much your kids cost you? Do you keep track of all your relationships with people to make sure you come out ahead?"
Ok, now you're just insulting my character and integrity (sincerely I anyone? lol). I still have a sense of loyalty and honor (I supposed that makes me outdated lol); hell, I'm probably one of the few people who can say that. NO, I'm not going to bolt, cheat on or keep a "balance sheet" of how much an ill wife would be costing me - I'm there to the very end. You can believe that. And no, I wouldn't do that with the kids either and have not nor will not do that with my relationships.
"My uncle's wife has Alzheimer' disease. He spends his days trying to make her life the best it can be. That is love boys. You two sound like takers not givers and I hope my daughters never end up marrying someone like you guys." *sigh* That's your assumption of my character, but it doesn't mean that that's how I actually am. You don't know me and I think that I was taken out of context earlier. Listen... I am like your uncle in that respect because as I said earlier, I'm there until the end and believe strongly in the idea of bonds between two human beings (despite being... a loner and asocial). I believe in the concept of love, BUT I refuse to be blinded by it to the point that the object of my affection can take me for a ride. THAT IS ALL THERE IS TO IT. There's nothing selfish about that.
So if one day, the woman I'm married to turns into a totally different person than the one I married and cheats and decides to run off with some guy, she's not getting half of anything from me, whereas (seeing as how this justice system favors women no matter what they do) she probably would STILL if I didn't have a prenup. I'm not going to leave a woman that I was married to nothing if we split just because things weren't working out. I would be fair. But a terrible wife that was never there for me or some cheating bitch isn't TAKING or GETTING a cent from me, nor should she. Nor am I going to have a judge tell me what amount of money I should part with seeing as it's mine (BECAUSE I WORKED FOR IT). Why a prenup in THOSE situations is wrong to you is beyond me...
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