Why The High Divorce Rate?

[UnconTROLLed]

Liquid Swords made a good point and heck I'd argue that "love" doesn't exist at all.

And the whole definition of a traditional patriarchal family with it's narrowly defined roles and power struggle, should also be viewed skeptically.

 

[anonymous4]

I would encourage people to pick up the works of Schopenhauer and endulge. Love at its basic is nature's way of ensuring reproduction. It is merely a tool you are not in control of and cannot be applied to just one person "forever". Our species has relied on polygamy and it is only a bad thing because you've been told a lie. Now the truth hurts.

 

[Re-Raise]

I have a serious question for Orly and Ritchie. I am trying to understand why we see things so differently.

What is the status of your parent's marriage? Have they been married multiple times? Who raised you?

Part of my perception of the world comes from the fact that my parents just celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary, my in-laws their 55th and my wife and I have been married 26 yrs.

I would think if you were raised by a single mother, for example, you might have a little more sympathy for the woman in a divorce.

 

[Brownslave688]

Evolutionary psychology generally agrees humans are polygamous in nature with some monogamous tendencies. Are you not a human? The brush isn't exactly broad, we all fall under the same umbrella. Studies place affairs in committed "monogamous" relationships at 50-80%. And how do you get a truthful body of responses to such a topic? As a self-aware species, every person should have the ability to define themselves as monogamous if they so chose. You can absolutely tell yourself you are committed to one person and fight your natural instinct for a life time. This does not make you naturally monogamous, just someone with dedication to a certain goal. 50-80% of humans don't seem to be capable of doing that long-term. As a species, we are most certainly not defined as monogamous.

I will also incite more violence in this thread. Why is the divorce rate so high? As a UPS employee you are not home. Most people will form resentment towards someone and drifting apart would be all too common in such a scenario. You are completely compatible with an estimated 300,000 other human beings. Chances are there is another man out there who can provide more than you while also being around the home.

I also question a lot of men and their ability to look at this reality and make the changes needed to give them the best shot at a successful monogamous relationship. How many of you are truly in-tune with what the opposite sex really needs in a partner to not stray? Are you fat? A terrible lover? An abusive husband? A poor listener? There are so many factors a man can change to stack the cards in his favor when it comes to women. If you value your wives one would think you would do everything you could to be the end-all-be-all so straying was not an option as there could be no better. This would be an every day battle to improve yourself and I don't get the feeling many people take part in such activities. It's more like come home at 9pm, crack a beer and watch the world spin around.

The previous paragraph was definitely painted with a "broad brush" and is merely an observation, certainly not applying to all of you.

​This is why I prefer to swing. Lol

 

[toonertoo]

This is my best friend, the guy I married is a close second.

 

[jumpman23]

As a dog lover you have a beautiful dog. Dogs are awesome for sure. I wanna open a kennel when I get close to retirement. A job to make money and something you love PRICELESS!

 

[Indecisi0n]

Once they genetically modify dogs so they can't poop I'll get one.

 

[cachsux]

Once they genetically modify dogs so they can't poop I'll get one.

​Lots of dogs will clean up after themselves. Just don't get too attached to puppy kisses.

 

[bottomups]

Once they genetically modify dogs so they can't poop I'll get one.

It is not really much of a problem. Just kick it into the neighbors yard.

 

[ORLY!?!]

Lol, this thread is great! You got Mr "Ive bedded thousands of women" and Mr "Strange forces that she cannot control makes women leave"!!!

There's a reason you guys have all these problems with women, and it ain't the woman. You hear a couple of stories and now every woman in the world is a leech who only wants money.

Go back to your Wi and Nintendo's boys. I hope some of the BC leech women will weigh in on this thread....

If nothing else, I rate this thread a 10 for the comedic value!

Its ok that you and others dont believe me, I'm not trying to impress anyone. Just adding in to my experiences with women.

And its ok to admit defeat.

 

[ORLY!?!]

At first, I believe I was the problem in some relationships. Why not actually, the first time at anything your gonna probably suck at anything. I was too much into the girl, and then I found this out, that I needed to be myself. I've had many relationships that were just about the sex. And man those were really good times, thanks myspace!

Overall, you need to stop trying to know women, just protect yourelf from them long term.

Its said best, by Al Bundy. " I never try to understand women. Women know women, and they hate each other. "

 

[Dizzee]

View attachment 9986
It is not really much of a problem. Just kick it into the neighbors yard.

​Not with those shoes...

 

[gingerkat]

Dizzee, I think we share a brain - lol!

 

[RitchieDavies]

I have a serious question for Orly and Ritchie. I am trying to understand why we see things so differently.

What is the status of your parent's marriage? Have they been married multiple times? Who raised you?

Part of my perception of the world comes from the fact that my parents just celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary, my in-laws their 55th and my wife and I have been married 26 yrs.

I would think if you were raised by a single mother, for example, you might have a little more sympathy for the woman in a divorce.

......Too be honest, I don't exactly follow where you're coming from. Being raised by a single mother... doesn't mean that one should think that just because she is a woman, that all women in general should be able to make off with half of a man's earnings/possessions.

Besides, that's a bit different considering that being a single mother doesn't mean that you are raising them alone 9 times out of 10, if you've just came out of a divorce. A lot of women when getting a divorce seem to take complete custody of the children, but it's not because the dad WANTED it that way, tbh I think that a lot of times a woman taking sole custody of the children from their FATHER is to hurt him and to milk more money out of the man (because she's raising them alone, by choice mind you). But that's enough about that; it's all irrelevant.

I'm not quite sure why we don't see things eye to eye on this, but I believe that you think that I'm attacking marriage in general, which is not the truth. I think marriage can be a beautiful thing, but like I said, you never know IF a person you know today may become a different one tomorrow, hence why I side with the idea of a prenup to protect yourself IF that should happen. It doesn't threaten your marriage, or at least shouldn't if you're both getting married because you love each other and it ISN'T about money for her, so what should it hurt? The system is unfair and biased and that's the truth.

But I think the REAL reason we clash is because I believe you seem to think men should just be gentlemen (*cough* *cough* DOORMATS *ahem*) and always be nice to women no matter what they do (cheating, being a bad wife or gf, or just being flat out psycho in general), which is an idea I despise to my core. I was once like you, trust me. I thought that all women were filled with sugar, spice and had little gumdrops coming out of their tushes... but then after a lot of experience, I opened my eyes and grew up. So while you seem to think they can do no wrong, I know otherwise. Some women can truly be straight up b*tches (NOT ALL, DON'T FLAME ME) believe me: ask around if you don't. SO while we are held accountable for everything, especially cheating, they can use bs excuses for fooling around like "you didn't give them enough attention" and that's accepted as a valid excuse... (try it out if you're a cheater, I highly doubt it'll work) all the while during that time you were breaking your back for her trying to keep a roof over her head and get her nice things!

So once you accept that women are pretty much the same as us in our faults, (except not being held accountable for them) sometimes een going far enough to RUIN marriages (surprize surprize!) and stop with this whole "they can do no wrong" charade, we can see somewhat more eye to eye at least, despite not agreeing on the idea of a prenup.

Brownslave688, ORLY!?! and to an extent, LiquidSwords are pretty much saying what I am saying. It's not really that hard to understand; but I don't care in the end, do what you will.

 

[gingerkat]

No matter what happens in a marriage, no one pushes someone to cheat. If someone cites reasons why he/she cheated, it's because they are cowards and won't accept responsibility. Nobody and I mean nobody makes you cheat, point blank. If you want to cheat, leave first.

 

[over9five]

No matter what happens in a marriage, no one pushes someone to cheat. If someone cites reasons why he/she cheated, it's because they are cowards and won't accept responsibility. Nobody and I mean nobody makes you cheat, point blank. If you want to cheat, leave first.

+100

 

[serenity now]

No matter what happens in a marriage, no one pushes someone to cheat. If someone cites reasons why he/she cheated, it's because they are cowards and won't accept responsibility. Nobody and I mean nobody makes you cheat, point blank. If you want to cheat, leave first.

More wisdom from the cat.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

At first, I believe I was the problem in some relationships. Why not actually, the first time at anything your gonna probably suck at anything. I was too much into the girl, and then I found this out, that I needed to be myself. I've had many relationships that were just about the sex. And man those were really good times, thanks myspace!

Overall, you need to stop trying to know women, just protect yourelf from them long term.

Its said best, by Al Bundy. " I never try to understand women. Women know women, and they hate each other. "

WOW, this explains it all! You are being raised by TV and the Internet. No wonder you believe what you believe.

......Too be honest, I don't exactly follow where you're coming from. Being raised by a single mother... doesn't mean that one should think that just because she is a woman, that all women in general should be able to make off with half of a man's earnings/possessions.

Besides, that's a bit different considering that being a single mother doesn't mean that you are raising them alone 9 times out of 10, if you've just came out of a divorce. A lot of women when getting a divorce seem to take complete custody of the children, but it's not because the dad WANTED it that way, tbh I think that a lot of times a woman taking sole custody of the children from their FATHER is to hurt him and to milk more money out of the man (because she's raising them alone, by choice mind you). But that's enough about that; it's all irrelevant.

I'm not quite sure why we don't see things eye to eye on this, but I believe that you think that I'm attacking marriage in general, which is not the truth. I think marriage can be a beautiful thing, but like I said, you never know IF a person you know today may become a different one tomorrow, hence why I side with the idea of a prenup to protect yourself IF that should happen. It doesn't threaten your marriage, or at least shouldn't if you're both getting married because you love each other and it ISN'T about money for her, so what should it hurt? The system is unfair and biased and that's the truth.

But I think the REAL reason we clash is because I believe you seem to think men should just be gentlemen (*cough* *cough* DOORMATS *ahem*) and always be nice to women no matter what they do (cheating, being a bad wife or gf, or just being flat out psycho in general), which is an idea I despise to my core. I was once like you, trust me. I thought that all women were filled with sugar, spice and had little gumdrops coming out of their tushes... but then after a lot of experience, I opened my eyes and grew up. So while you seem to think they can do no wrong, I know otherwise. Some women can truly be straight up b*tches (NOT ALL, DON'T FLAME ME) believe me: ask around if you don't. SO while we are held accountable for everything, especially cheating, they can use bs excuses for fooling around like "you didn't give them enough attention" and that's accepted as a valid excuse... (try it out if you're a cheater, I highly doubt it'll work) all the while during that time you were breaking your back for her trying to keep a roof over her head and get her nice things!

So once you accept that women are pretty much the same as us in our faults, (except not being held accountable for them) sometimes een going far enough to RUIN marriages (surprize surprize!) and stop with this whole "they can do no wrong" charade, we can see somewhat more eye to eye at least, despite not agreeing on the idea of a prenup.

Brownslave688, ORLY!?! and to an extent, LiquidSwords are pretty much saying what I am saying. It's not really that hard to understand; but I don't care in the end, do what you will.

All of these words to have people see your point, and this is how you end your statement?

The way I see this, is you "Pro" Pre-Nup people, want a guarantee. You want to walk the tightrope AND wear a harness. Hmmm, I wonder if there are any divorce rate stats for prenuptial agreements.

 

[RitchieDavies]

WOW, this explains it all! You are being raised by TV and the Internet. No wonder you believe what you believe.

All of these words to have people see your point, and this is how you end your statement?

The way I see this, is you "Pro" Pre-Nup people, want a guarantee. You want to walk the tightrope AND wear a harness. Hmmm, I wonder if there are any divorce rate stats for prenuptial agreements.

Heh, I wanted him (Re-Raise) to understand where I was coming from, he doesn't have to necessarily agree - because at the end of the day it's his life and his marriage. Hearing out people with opposing views, even if you don't agree is how one's knowledge grows, instead of simply being closed minded. I've learned a bit from Re-Raise myself, actually.

And as for your last comment, like I said, do as you will - I really don't care. But I have a couple questions for you: If you were going to walk a tightrope, wouldn't you LIKE to have a HARNESS? LOL. Or would you rather do so, just for the hell of it and for the adrenaline rush (your emotions), knowing that if you fall you can lose everything you've worked your whole life for? Would you enter what might be a potentially sticky situation, knowing that you might have a way to minimize the problems in that situation, or just dive right in? Would you ride a motorcycle with no protection like a squid, would you screw a girl you didn't know without protection? I don't think so. It's always good to have a backup plan; nothing wrong with that. Those who PRIDE themselves on taking huge risks when they could've had at least some protection, while bashing those who did take extra caution are fools. It's that simple.

 

[ORLY!?!]

What you wont believe is your own ignorance.

Sure, nowadays we are raised different. But hell, doesnt mean it makes us weaker or stronger in short or longer term. We are human begins, afterall. Doesnt mean you know better, and the same for me.

I see the kids getting the good life nowadays. Ipads, cell phones and others and I say what the hell. But I come back with, its only the times we are at. Lets say you 200 years in the future, which should never matter anyways.

What you say and I say wouldnt matter anyhow.

Good, believe I didnt live my own life and go all those miles without having all those things to guide me. Christ, I didnt as a human ever grow up without the interwebs. Because I didnt have them, they only made life a little more enjoyable. Such an etard!