Good Quotes

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"Living in freedom and defending freedom are two sides of one and the same coin." ~Angela Merkel~

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for." ~Oriah Mountain Dreamer~

"Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it." ~Stephen Colbert~

"There is no terror in the bang, only the anticipation of it." ~Alfred Hitchcock~

 

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"Tall people cannot count on short people to look out for things tall people might bump their heads on. You have to take care of that yourself." ~Garrison Keillor~

 

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"Never marry someone who lacks a good sense of humor. She will need it. It is a challenge to live intimately with your best informed critic." ~Garrison Keillor~

 

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http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/marriage_quotes.htm

 

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"Don't beat up on yourself. Endless contrition is a pain. Make your apology, repair the damage, hold your head up, and march on." ~Garrison Keillor~

 

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"Most tragedy is misunderstood comedy. God is a great humorist working with a rather glum audience. Lighten up. Whatever you must do, do it gladly. As you get older, you'll learn how to fake this."
~Garrison Keillor~

 

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"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa, you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.' ~Joan Rivers~

 

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These are MY opinions. Others are available.

 

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"I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery." ~Joan Rivers~

 

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I don't exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, He'd have put diamonds on the floor." ~Joan Rivers~

 

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"Your friends are very fond of you, but there are limits. Sadness is tedious. When discussing your troubles, be concise. Five minutes and then change the subject." ~Garrison Keillor~

 

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"Gun control means using both hands."

 

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You don't become great by trying to be great. You become great by wanting to do something and then doing it so hard that you become great in the process. ~Randall Munroe~

 

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"It's not up to the person who creates something to say that they are an artist. How arrogant is that ? It's up to the people who see what you do to say you're an artist" ~Gene Simmons~

 

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"Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit."
~Elizabeth Gilbert~

"Saying a subject is too awful or painful to joke about is like saying a disease is too awful to be treated." ~Louis C.K.~

"Decide whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying." ~Amelia Earhart~

 

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I would gladly trade in my "Caller I.D." for a "Caller I.Q."


I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.


Dig where the gold is, unless you need the exercise.


For more peace and quiet, how about a phoneless cord?


Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?


A shut mouth gathers no foot.


Suicide is the sincerest form of self-criticism.

 

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"The next best thing to being clever is being able to quote someone who is." ~Mary Pettibone Poole~

 

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"The closed fist receives nothing." ~Michele Oka Doner~

"Being realistic is the most commonly traveled road to mediocrity." ~Will Smith~

"I have always had a half-baked philosophy that having a plan 'B' can muddy up your plan 'A' ." ~Charlie Day~

 

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"In Heaven, you get back all the Chapsticks you lost in life." iamenidcoleslaw

 

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