A Big Hello From Uncle Mattie

MrFedEx

Engorged Member
Dear Team Members,

It's been quite awhile, so I thought I'd catch-up with you. Let's rap, OK? First, since we gave you a huge raise, we need you to work harder and faster, not smarter. Just do what we say, and don't worry about safety or injuries or any of that stuff. Uncle Mattie needs you to crank out some more cash so I can keep living high.

Look, I've got 3 big homes now, 1 in Chicago, 1 in Aspen, and 1 in The Hamptons, and I'm jetting as fast as I can in my Gulfstream to try and relax in between motivating you and threatening MDs with their jobs if they don't get their numbers up.

Right now, I'm in the Virgin Islands at a umm... conference, and next week I'll be at a special meeting in err...Switzerland. Yeah, that's right...the TNT deal.

Anyway, time for my massage, and then tennis at 7pm with the Bronczeks, and then lobster and caviar for dinner. Come on, Dano, I feel some tension in my buttocks.

Love,
MT3
 

outtatime

Well-Known Member
Are these threads supposed to be funny? I'm not sure what the point of them is. Warning other/potential employees? You sure spend a lot of free time on here complaining about the company you hate so much. When I'm not at work the last thing I want to think about is work. We get it, you hate FedEx (even though you continue to work them). Dude, find a hobby.
 

1314

Active Member
Dear Team Members,

It's been quite awhile, so I thought I'd catch-up with you. Let's rap, OK? First, since we gave you a huge raise, we need you to work harder and faster, not smarter. Just do what we say, and don't worry about safety or injuries or any of that stuff. Uncle Mattie needs you to crank out some more cash so I can keep living high.

Look, I've got 3 big homes now, 1 in Chicago, 1 in Aspen, and 1 in The Hamptons, and I'm jetting as fast as I can in my Gulfstream to try and relax in between motivating you and threatening MDs with their jobs if they don't get their numbers up.

Right now, I'm in the Virgin Islands at a umm... conference, and next week I'll be at a special meeting in err...Switzerland. Yeah, that's right...the TNT deal.

Anyway, time for my massage, and then tennis at 7pm with the Bronczeks, and then lobster and caviar for dinner. Come on, Dano, I feel some tension in my buttocks.

Love,
MT3
Jajaajjajaj your so funny. OMG your hilarious!! Get a life loser.
 

Cactus

Just telling it like it is
Jajaajjajaj your so funny. OMG your hilarious!! Get a life loser.
But yet you took the time to read the post.

Go over to iamfedex.com where you'll feel much more comfortable with other Weasel Worshipers like yourself.
 

Goldilocks

Well-Known Member
Dear Team Members,

It's been quite awhile, so I thought I'd catch-up with you. Let's rap, OK? First, since we gave you a huge raise, we need you to work harder and faster, not smarter. Just do what we say, and don't worry about safety or injuries or any of that stuff. Uncle Mattie needs you to crank out some more cash so I can keep living high.

Look, I've got 3 big homes now, 1 in Chicago, 1 in Aspen, and 1 in The Hamptons, and I'm jetting as fast as I can in my Gulfstream to try and relax in between motivating you and threatening MDs with their jobs if they don't get their numbers up.

Right now, I'm in the Virgin Islands at a umm... conference, and next week I'll be at a special meeting in err...Switzerland. Yeah, that's right...the TNT deal.

Anyway, time for my massage, and then tennis at 7pm with the Bronczeks, and then lobster and caviar for dinner. Come on, Dano, I feel some tension in my buttocks.

Love,
MT3

Nice!
 
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