A Big Hello From Uncle Mattie

Discussion in 'FedEx Discussions' started by MrFedEx, Sep 25, 2016.

  1. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Dear Team Members,

    It's been quite awhile, so I thought I'd catch-up with you. Let's rap, OK? First, since we gave you a huge raise, we need you to work harder and faster, not smarter. Just do what we say, and don't worry about safety or injuries or any of that stuff. Uncle Mattie needs you to crank out some more cash so I can keep living high.

    Look, I've got 3 big homes now, 1 in Chicago, 1 in Aspen, and 1 in The Hamptons, and I'm jetting as fast as I can in my Gulfstream to try and relax in between motivating you and threatening MDs with their jobs if they don't get their numbers up.

    Right now, I'm in the Virgin Islands at a umm... conference, and next week I'll be at a special meeting in err...Switzerland. Yeah, that's right...the TNT deal.

    Anyway, time for my massage, and then tennis at 7pm with the Bronczeks, and then lobster and caviar for dinner. Come on, Dano, I feel some tension in my buttocks.

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  2. 59 Dano

    59 Dano I just want to make friends!

    MT3 isn't at work today. Better go check on your wife, MF!
  3. outtatime

    outtatime Active Member

    Are these threads supposed to be funny? I'm not sure what the point of them is. Warning other/potential employees? You sure spend a lot of free time on here complaining about the company you hate so much. When I'm not at work the last thing I want to think about is work. We get it, you hate FedEx (even though you continue to work them). Dude, find a hobby.
  4. 1314

    1314 Member

    Jajaajjajaj your so funny. OMG your hilarious!! Get a life loser.
  5. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Only a shill on board here would be privy to that kind of info.

    You're getting sloppy.
  6. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    But yet you took the time to read the post.

    Go over to iamfedex.com where you'll feel much more comfortable with other Weasel Worshipers like yourself.
  7. ⬆️Urs

    ⬆️Urs New Member

    No need to get so upset for someone disagreeing with your boyfriend :butt: :butt:
  8. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I think you must be a huge admirer of our upper management team. That would make you the biggest loser.
  9. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    Mom says to go back in the basement and stop contributing to a FedEx forum where you aren't even an employee.
  10. Cactus

    Cactus Just telling it like it is

    Urs sounds like another shill. Maybe Dano was whining that he needed an ASSistant.
  11. MrFedEx

    MrFedEx Engorged Member

    I'll ask your wife, who is over at my house complaining you don't measure up.
  12. Goldilocks

    Goldilocks Well-Known Member