A Big Hello From Uncle Mattie

[MrFedEx]

Dear Team Members,

It's been quite awhile, so I thought I'd catch-up with you. Let's rap, OK? First, since we gave you a huge raise, we need you to work harder and faster, not smarter. Just do what we say, and don't worry about safety or injuries or any of that stuff. Uncle Mattie needs you to crank out some more cash so I can keep living high.

Look, I've got 3 big homes now, 1 in Chicago, 1 in Aspen, and 1 in The Hamptons, and I'm jetting as fast as I can in my Gulfstream to try and relax in between motivating you and threatening MDs with their jobs if they don't get their numbers up.

Right now, I'm in the Virgin Islands at a umm... conference, and next week I'll be at a special meeting in err...Switzerland. Yeah, that's right...the TNT deal.

Anyway, time for my massage, and then tennis at 7pm with the Bronczeks, and then lobster and caviar for dinner. Come on, Dano, I feel some tension in my buttocks.

Love,
MT3

 

[59 Dano]

Come on, Dano, I feel some tension in my buttocks.

MT3 isn't at work today. Better go check on your wife, MF!

 

[outtatime]

Are these threads supposed to be funny? I'm not sure what the point of them is. Warning other/potential employees? You sure spend a lot of free time on here complaining about the company you hate so much. When I'm not at work the last thing I want to think about is work. We get it, you hate FedEx (even though you continue to work them). Dude, find a hobby.

 

[1314]

Dear Team Members,

It's been quite awhile, so I thought I'd catch-up with you. Let's rap, OK? First, since we gave you a huge raise, we need you to work harder and faster, not smarter. Just do what we say, and don't worry about safety or injuries or any of that stuff. Uncle Mattie needs you to crank out some more cash so I can keep living high.

Look, I've got 3 big homes now, 1 in Chicago, 1 in Aspen, and 1 in The Hamptons, and I'm jetting as fast as I can in my Gulfstream to try and relax in between motivating you and threatening MDs with their jobs if they don't get their numbers up.

Right now, I'm in the Virgin Islands at a umm... conference, and next week I'll be at a special meeting in err...Switzerland. Yeah, that's right...the TNT deal.

Anyway, time for my massage, and then tennis at 7pm with the Bronczeks, and then lobster and caviar for dinner. Come on, Dano, I feel some tension in my buttocks.

Love,
MT3

Jajaajjajaj your so funny. OMG your hilarious!! Get a life loser.

 

[Cactus]

MT3 isn't at work today.

Only a shill on board here would be privy to that kind of info.

You're getting sloppy.

 

[Cactus]

Jajaajjajaj your so funny. OMG your hilarious!! Get a life loser.

But yet you took the time to read the post.

Go over to iamfedex.com where you'll feel much more comfortable with other Weasel Worshipers like yourself.

 

[⬆️Urs]

But yet you took the time to read the post.

Go over to iamfedex.com where you'll feel much more comfortable with other Weasel Worshipers like yourself.

No need to get so upset for someone disagreeing with your boyfriend

 

[MrFedEx]

Jajaajjajaj your so funny. OMG your hilarious!! Get a life loser.

I think you must be a huge admirer of our upper management team. That would make you the biggest loser.

 

[MrFedEx]

No need to get so upset for someone disagreeing with your boyfriend

Mom says to go back in the basement and stop contributing to a FedEx forum where you aren't even an employee.

 

[Cactus]

Mom says to go back in the basement and stop contributing to a FedEx forum where you aren't even an employee.

Urs sounds like another shill. Maybe Dano was whining that he needed an ASSistant.

 

[MrFedEx]

MT3 isn't at work today. Better go check on your wife, MF!

I'll ask your wife, who is over at my house complaining you don't measure up.

 

[Goldilocks]

Dear Team Members,

It's been quite awhile, so I thought I'd catch-up with you. Let's rap, OK? First, since we gave you a huge raise, we need you to work harder and faster, not smarter. Just do what we say, and don't worry about safety or injuries or any of that stuff. Uncle Mattie needs you to crank out some more cash so I can keep living high.

Look, I've got 3 big homes now, 1 in Chicago, 1 in Aspen, and 1 in The Hamptons, and I'm jetting as fast as I can in my Gulfstream to try and relax in between motivating you and threatening MDs with their jobs if they don't get their numbers up.

Right now, I'm in the Virgin Islands at a umm... conference, and next week I'll be at a special meeting in err...Switzerland. Yeah, that's right...the TNT deal.

Anyway, time for my massage, and then tennis at 7pm with the Bronczeks, and then lobster and caviar for dinner. Come on, Dano, I feel some tension in my buttocks.

Love,
MT3

Nice!