Corporate Wisdom

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by brownmonster, Jan 11, 2007.

  1. brownmonster

    brownmonster Man of Great Wisdom

    Corporate Lesson 1

    A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
    shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a
    towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
    the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give
    you $800 to drop that towel." After thinking for a moment, the woman
    drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few
    seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
    The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she
    gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,"Who was that?" "It was Bob,
    from next door," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he say
    anything about the $800 he owes me?"

    Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to
    credit and risk with your shareholders, in time, you may be in a
    position to prevent avoidable exposure.

    Corporate Lesson 2

    A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs,
    forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
    After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
    The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his
    hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
    The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest
    apologized. "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the
    convent, the nun went on her way.
    On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
    It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

    Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you
    might miss a great opportunity.

    Corporate Lesson 3

    A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to
    lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
    comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish" "Me
    first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the
    Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
    Poof! She's gone.

    "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii ,
    relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of
    Pina Coladas and the love of my life."
    Poof! He's gone.

    "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I
    want those two back in the office after lunch."

    Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. -Love
    this one!!!

    Corporate Lesson 4

    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked
    him, " Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
    The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
    below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
    Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
    sitting very high up.

    Corporate Lesson 5

    A turkey was chatting with a bull "I would love to be able to get to
    the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the
    energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the
    bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of
    dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
    branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
    reached the second branch.
    Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top
    of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot him.
    Moral of the story: Bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't
    keep you there.

    Class Dismissed
  2. DS

    DS Fenderbender

    How true:excl: good post, you a funny guy:yinyang:
  3. toeknee2gx

    toeknee2gx New Member

    excellent post!! LMAO!!
  4. Keepingthemhonest

    Keepingthemhonest Bring'n sexy back

    hahaha <3!+rep
  5. hoser

    hoser Industrial Slob

    good lessons. next time tell us where you got it from ;)
  6. DocBrown

    DocBrown New Member

    Ever think about doing comic strips.......hillarious.......

    UPSBOI You don't want to know!

    Corporate Wisdom? Is there such a thing?
  8. chocolate

    chocolate New Member

    I like it!
  9. speeddemon

    speeddemon Guest

    I like number 5.
  10. diadlover

    diadlover New Member

    No kidding. This guy shows everyone he knows how to copy and paste and these people are on his nuts.
  11. brownmonster

    brownmonster Man of Great Wisdom

    Someone emailed it to me and I thought I would pass it along. And yes I was quite proud of my tech savy.