I am gonna write a country song about my divorce, first line goes something like this:
I came home expecting dinner on the table,
But there was no dinner and there was no table!
I wonder how many guys came home from a tough day at work at the ole UPS mine to find there whole house empty, happened to me. I tried to call home when I got off that night like always but the answering machine didn't pick up, phone just kept ringing. Well I thought that was odd but thought maybe the power had been knocked or something to afect the machine. Anyway, when I pulled in my driveway the neighbors all went back in their houses, which was odd. So then I open my front door and see an empty living room, no big screen TV, no sofa, nothing. At this point I thought I had been robbed{well I guess technically I had been} so I ran through the house looking for my wife. When I got to the dining room, I noticed I had a picnic table where my table used to be along with a 5 page letter explaining all of my flaws! The picnic table tipped me off anyway because thieves usually don't leave a trade in!! Anyway, I got the divorce papers a few weeks later asking for half, so I called her lawyer and asked exactly when I should expect my half to be returned!!! Losing all my material possesion was really a small price to pay to get out of a miserable marriage, lost my Z71, my 20ft Stratos bass boat, but I did keep my old Mazda pickup and 12 ft johnboat!