Funny DVIRS?

rod

Retired 22 years
I once had a flat with an old P400 about 10 miles from the center (no jack-no spare). I called Minneapolis to see how they wanted me to handle it because as usual there wasn't anyone at our building during the day. After they passed me around to a couple different people on the phone they told me just to drive it back to the center. That's what I did.
 

Brownslave688

You want a toe? I can get you a toe.
I once wrote a truck up. Steel belt on tire showing. Replace tires. Mechanic wrote back parts on order safe to run.


Didn't leave the building til about 10 the next morning after they found me some tires.
 

trickpony1

Well-Known Member
Didn't leave the building til about 10 the next morning after they found me some tires.

You may have done the company a favor.

If you had a blow out and went left of center and hit someone head on guess where you would end up?
(multiple choice)
a) at the local Dairy Queen.
b) in court.
c) in prison on manslaughter
d) all of the above
e) b and c.
 

Brownslave688

You want a toe? I can get you a toe.
You may have done the company a favor.

If you had a blow out and went left of center and hit someone head on guess where you would end up?
(multiple choice)
a) at the local Dairy Queen.
b) in court.
c) in prison on manslaughter
d) all of the above
e) b and c.
There was zero chance I was leaving that building. It was a 250 mile route. Center manager had the nerve to say well let's see the mechanic maybe it's not a DOT issue. I said it's a common sense issue. You have two choices find me new tires or run the route yourself.
 

olroadbeech

Happy Verified UPSer
my mechanic told me this one. " steering wheel needs to be moved. cant see gauges ."

driver didn't know that there was a handle to move steering wheel up and down and front and back. it was in the forward position, almost flat during his whole shift.
 

TooTechie

Geek in Brown
I've had a belt brake and thrash under the hood. I pulled over to call it in. I was told by the mechanic "Just keep going, but watch to make sure it doesn't over heat. And don't try to stop quickly. You are on your reserve braking now and the truck might not stop as fast as it needs too." Needless to say, I told him to stop being an idiot and was brought another truck. "Safety first", my ass.
It's cuz the mechanic gets gigged if you can't get the truck back in. Road calls usually aren't the mechanic's fault but management is dumb.

Ive agreed to drive with the bulkhead door open after a latch broke off for the last 20 stops because there was nothing big left to fly into the cab and once i agreed to idle the truck in park while making deliveries for the last 15 stops because it wouldn't start again if I shut it off, but I wouldnt go too far from the truck for fear it would be stolen so had to EC 2 of the stops. Felt bad for the consignees.. .

I have refused to run the truck though and demanded a road call/replacement once when the heater died in January and once when the truck kept dying while I was driving and I'd lose steering and primary braking.
 

olroadbeech

Happy Verified UPSer
I once wrote up " please turn my truck up to 85 to make the boss happy."

mechanic wrote " the highest we can go is 100. let me know."
 

Mechanic86

Turd Polishing Expert
Why are these funny? Most of us know little about fixing vehicles, just that something isn't "right" about our car today. And a fan can be the difference between lasting the day or dropping due to heat exhaustion.
I think I may have struck a nerve with you, the fan was a joke lighten up lol
 

rod

Retired 22 years
I once had the whole wheel assembly fall off while bouncing down a washboard road at about 20mph in a loaner truck while mine was in for repairs. When I got back to the building later that night in another replacement truck the mechanic approached me and said "did that damn thing fall off again"?
 

rod

Retired 22 years
Once when I couldn't get the starter to even make a noise I took off the doghouse cover and saw the starter dangling in mid-air only being held up by the starter wire.
 

FrigidFTSup

Resident Suit
funny-airline-pilot-mechanic-fix.jpg

Some funny responses from the aviation world. We write things up daily too.
 

1BROWNWRENCH

Amatuer Malthusian
I've written up a faulty starter as "truck only starts when it feels like it". Also, one day I had a truck that started making all kinds of terrible sounds under the hood at random times and kept getting louder. I wrote it up as "truck may be haunted". 2 out of our 3 mechanics have a good sense of humor.
Here's a tip for no-start situations. "Won't start" could mean a bunch of things. You need to make a few distinctions. Like does it NOT CRANK, or does it crank and not start? Do you just get clicks? No response from the keyless switch? Did you try using the key? What were the conditions that it "won't start".
 

oldngray

nowhere special
Here's a tip for no-start situations. "Won't start" could mean a bunch of things. You need to make a few distinctions. Like does it NOT CRANK, or does it crank and not start? Do you just get clicks? No response from the keyless switch? Did you try using the key? What were the conditions that it "won't start".

Isn't "truck broke" good enough?
 

1BROWNWRENCH

Amatuer Malthusian
Some of the DVIR's we receive in automotive can be quite amusing, for example: "Can I get a fan?" "The truck is making a weird noise" "The engine is blown" "The truck didn't start, it needs a starter" "I used to be a mechanic, my truck needs an alternator." "The engine is losing compression" also we got a call once where a driver told us that he had just driven through high water and now the truck wouldn't start lol. Does anyone else have any good ones?
I get a few that make me chuckle, but usually for the wrong reasons. A lot of it comes from the level of ignorance and arrogance displayed at times from people that should know better. SMH
 
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