True Facts....

Discussion in 'The Archives' started by therodog, Aug 15, 2003.

  1. therodog

    therodog Guest


    1. Only in America......can a pizza get to
    your house faster than an ambulance.

    2. Only in America......are there
    handicap parking places in front of a
    skating rink.

    3. Only in drugstores
    make the sick walk all the way to the
    back of the store to get their
    prescriptions while healthy people can buy
    cigarettes at the front.

    4. Only in people order
    double cheeseburgers, large fries,
    and a diet coke.

    5. Only in banks leave
    both doors open and then chain the
    pens to the counters.

    6. Only in we leave cars
    worth thousands of dollars in the
    driveway and put our useless junk in the

    7. Only in we use
    answering machines to screen calls and
    then have call waiting so we won't miss a
    call from someone we didn't want
    to talk to in the first place.

    8. Only in we buy hot
    dogs in packages of ten and buns in
    packages of eight.
    9. Only in we use the
    word 'politics' to describe the process so well:
    'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and
    'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

    10. Only in they have
    drive-up ATM machines with Braille



    Why the sun lightens our hair, but
    darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline
    "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do

    Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you
    have to click on "Start"?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial
    flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
    with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest
    traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    When dog food is new and improved
    tasting, who tests it?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two

    Why do they sterilize the needle for
    lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box
    that is used on airplanes? Why don't
    they make the whole plane out of that

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when
    they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is
    Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call
    the airport the terminal?


    Now that you've smiled at least once,

    it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a
    smile to (maybe even a chuckle) other words, send it to everyone.
    We all need to smile every once in a while.