Why The High Divorce Rate?

[stevetheupsguy]

Back to the thread.

I went out last night with an athlete friend who's been feeling down about losing her "mojo" for our sport. Not only am I her personal friend, but was her UPS Guy for the past 2 year bid, which ended in April. I used to stop at her house for lunch and to hang out, whether her husband was there or not. At dinner last night we spoke about our sport, Children, her spouse my EX's and all sorts of other things. She and her husband have been married for 30 years, her youngest has just gone off to college and her mojo is coming back. I had such a pleasant conversation with my friend and there wasn't any risk of her leaving her husband, go figure.

She spoke about how hard marriage was, how her husbands job took him out of town (which is where he was, last night), and how she basically raised the children without him around. How they had some difficulty with 2 of their children, but the other 2 were easy to raise. The point I'm trying to make is, they settled in for the long run. They didn't run when life got "too" hard, and it WILL. That right there is Allegiance. You won't always agree, "feel" love for the other person, but settling in and being a partner/team mate, is what makes a marriage. By the way, Love is a choice, not an emotion. Think that one through!

 

[gingerkat]

Slippery slope, eyeball

Oh, so you might want to NOT check your pm ...

 

[Re-Raise]

Back to the thread.

I went out last night with an athlete friend who's been feeling down about losing her "mojo" for our sport. Not only am I her personal friend, but was her UPS Guy for the past 2 year bid, which ended in April. I used to stop at her house for lunch and to hang out, whether her husband was there or not. At dinner last night we spoke about our sport, Children, her spouse my EX's and all sorts of other things. She and her husband have been married for 30 years, her youngest has just gone off to college and her mojo is coming back. I had such a pleasant conversation with my friend and there wasn't any risk of her leaving her husband, go figure.

She spoke about how hard marriage was, how her husbands job took him out of town (which is where he was, last night), and how she basically raised the children without him around. How they had some difficulty with 2 of their children, but the other 2 were easy to raise. The point I'm trying to make is, they settled in for the long run. They didn't run when life got "too" hard, and it WILL. That right there is Allegiance. You won't always agree, "feel" love for the other person, but settling in and being a partner/team mate, is what makes a marriage. By the way, Love is a choice, not an emotion. Think that one through!

Good post Steve, I agree completely.

This will be my last post on this thread. I am annoyed that kids who have never been married, and never had children think they can tell me about the possible expense that comes from divorce.

When I married my wife I agreed to share everything with her. I would take a bullet for her or my kids.

If these clowns think splitting the household assets is their biggest fear, they have never been in love and aren't ready to get married.

Divorce sucks and sometimes people grow apart, but if you aren't ready to have each others back through better or worse than why the hell are you even thinking about getting married?

 

[gingerkat]

I agree re-raise (I'm three sheets to the wind now, so forgive me). My husband cheated and walked out the door on me, but I begged him to stay. I wanted us to go to marriage counseling, even though there was major damage done. My parents raised me to work hard at everything I did, especially a relationship. I felt extreme hurt and betrayal, but i wanted to try. So, for those that don't think marriage or a relationship is hard work, I beg to differ...

 

[anonymous6]

my wife fixed the computer today while I was sleeping. guess i'll keep her around a little while longer.

 

[MethodsMan]

Back to the thread.

I went out last night with an athlete friend who's been feeling down about losing her "mojo" for our sport. Not only am I her personal friend, but was her UPS Guy for the past 2 year bid, which ended in April. I used to stop at her house for lunch and to hang out, whether her husband was there or not. At dinner last night we spoke about our sport, Children, her spouse my EX's and all sorts of other things. She and her husband have been married for 30 years, her youngest has just gone off to college and her mojo is coming back. I had such a pleasant conversation with my friend and there wasn't any risk of her leaving her husband, go figure.

She spoke about how hard marriage was, how her husbands job took him out of town (which is where he was, last night), and how she basically raised the children without him around. How they had some difficulty with 2 of their children, but the other 2 were easy to raise. The point I'm trying to make is, they settled in for the long run. They didn't run when life got "too" hard, and it WILL. That right there is Allegiance. You won't always agree, "feel" love for the other person, but settling in and being a partner/team mate, is what makes a marriage. By the way, Love is a choice, not an emotion. Think that one through!

So did you end up at her house or her at yours

 

[anonymous6]

I agree re-raise (I'm three sheets to the wind now, so forgive me). My husband cheated and walked out the door on me, but I begged him to stay. I wanted us to go to marriage counseling, even though there was major damage done. My parents raised me to work hard at everything I did, especially a relationship. I felt extreme hurt and betrayal, but i wanted to try. So, for those that don't think marriage or a relationship is hard work, I beg to differ...

there is a part in "Dances With Wolves" that I think is very true. Wind In His Hair tries to explain to Costner that he did not like him at first because his best friend had died in battle. then he explains the Sioux philosophy that he believes his best friend HAD to die first so that Dances with Wolves could come to the tribe and save them, etc. Wind In His Hair and Dances with Wolves become BEST Blood Brothers.

I believe this to be very true in our lives. my first wife cheated on me and of course I was devastated for while. 2 years later I met my current wife ( after dating many other women ) and we have been together for 30 years . ( she is my best friend ). it is easy for me to see that the first marriage had to "die" so that I could be with my real "soulmate." I have seen this happen time after time with many people.

hope this helps.

 

[anonymous6]

Back to the thread.

I went out last night with an athlete friend who's been feeling down about losing her "mojo" for our sport. Not only am I her personal friend, but was her UPS Guy for the past 2 year bid, which ended in April. I used to stop at her house for lunch and to hang out, whether her husband was there or not. At dinner last night we spoke about our sport, Children, her spouse my EX's and all sorts of other things. She and her husband have been married for 30 years, her youngest has just gone off to college and her mojo is coming back. I had such a pleasant conversation with my friend and there wasn't any risk of her leaving her husband, go figure.

She spoke about how hard marriage was, how her husbands job took him out of town (which is where he was, last night), and how she basically raised the children without him around. How they had some difficulty with 2 of their children, but the other 2 were easy to raise. The point I'm trying to make is, they settled in for the long run. They didn't run when life got "too" hard, and it WILL. That right there is Allegiance. You won't always agree, "feel" love for the other person, but settling in and being a partner/team mate, is what makes a marriage. By the way, Love is a choice, not an emotion. Think that one through!

you're right and that is what I have been trying to say. marriage is not a fairy tale. it'a a lot of HARD work that has a lot of rewards in the end. my daughter came to us years ago and told of the problems she was having with her husband. to my wife and I the problems were fairly minor. we could see that our daughter was thinking of divorce.

bottom line . we told her some of the problems her mother and I had when she was a little girl and how we worked them out. we told her "you have 2 children so WORK IT OUT!, Divorce is NOT an option so get that out of your head right NOW!" she did and years later came and thanked us. daughter and son in law are doing fine.

 

[ORLY!?!]

you're right and that is what I have been trying to say. marriage is not a fairy tale. it'a a lot of HARD work that has a lot of rewards in the end. my daughter came to us years ago and told of the problems she was having with her husband. to my wife and I the problems were fairly minor. we could see that our daughter was thinking of divorce.

bottom line . we told her some of the problems her mother and I had when she was a little girl and how we worked them out. we told her "you have 2 children so WORK IT OUT!, Divorce is NOT an option so get that out of your head right NOW!" she did and years later came and thanked us. daughter and son in law are doing fine.

That is the real problem of today. The kids rush out and get married in a hurry so they feel as if they escape the hold from their parents. And yet, they rush right into the same situation through marriage. Then they have a child or two, and it comes full circle.

I do think that peoples assets are one of the major concerns. I've seen so many people destroyed by a divorce just but the other partner sticking it to them by money. And I think people here dont " get the big picture " on how bad it really can be. A lot of women are attracted to a man with money. These are the worst type of women, the ones who only care about what type of car you're driving.

Look, you might not worry about money, as do I. I believe that a little piece of green paper controls everything we will ever do in life, and it sucks. But its a necessity in life to survive. And theres plenty of people out there that will weasel their way through the paper works and stiff you over for some of it, for free.

Marry for love, kids, sex and whatever you want, I couldnt careless what others do in their lives. But getting run over by the car is worse then driving it.

 

[stevetheupsguy]

So did you end up at her house or her at yours

I wasn't going to respond to this, thinking, what a fool this person is for asking such a rude question. Then I thought about it all and figured I'd answer as honest as can be. After dinner we hugged, I kissed her on her cheek and we parted ways, both delighted at the time had by great friends. I then went home, kicked up my feet, relaxed on my couch with a big smile. I'm sorry to disappoint you and your fantasy, but SEX is not the end all of everything. It's very unfortunate that TV and the media teach us to live without boundaries. I WON'T live that way! I have boundaries for myself and teach my Children that there are boundaries. Thanks for commenting.

 

[scratch]

I read this thread and am amazed at some of the comments. And then there are some that give great advice.

I have a younger brother that was married three times and can't rub two nickels together right now because he never learned how to handle money or think of anybody besides himself. He doesn't think its "fair that he is expected to pay child support to a woman who left him". My older brother is with wife number four and doing well. He was 17 when he had to marry his 15 year old girlfriend the first time, you can guess why. They were too young, didn't last long. Second wife was older but already had two kids, lots of fights about disciplining them ended that. Third wife was bi-polar and just plain crazy, they had two daughters. Fourth one is a LSU professor and a keeper. I must be doing something wrong here, I have only been married once for thirty years, including the courting makes it 34 years of being faithful to the same person.

Marriage is hard work, we all go through good and bad times. I like to think that we are a team, each of us brings special traits to our relationship that make it stronger. I don't feel that I have to feed my ego by having sex with a different woman, even though that would be so easy to do with the job I have. I completely trust my wife, neither one of us would cheat on each other. We have our arguments like everybody else, but you have to learn how to just let somethings go. You have to learn how to listen to your spouse and compromise on certain things. When you love someone and they love you back, there is no better feeling in the world than that.

An interesting thing is that my wife and I joined a couple's group and are studying a book called "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. We all have different personalities and men and women look at things differently. This book identifies that there are five types of traits we all share. First is Words of Affirmation, second is Quality Time, third is Receiving Gifts, fourth are Acts of Service, and the final is Physical Touch. Its an interesting book, we had our first meeting last night and its got me thinking about a lot of things as far as communicating with my wife.

 

[MethodsMan]

I wasn't going to respond to this, thinking, what a fool this person is for asking such a rude question. Then I thought about it all and figured I'd answer as honest as can be. After dinner we hugged, I kissed her on her cheek and we parted ways, both delighted at the time had by great friends. I then went home, kicked up my feet, relaxed on my couch with a big smile. I'm sorry to disappoint you and your fantasy, but SEX is not the end all of everything. It's very unfortunate that TV and the media teach us to live without boundaries. I WON'T live that way! I have boundaries for myself and teach my Children that there are boundaries. Thanks for commenting.

I was just messing with you.

 

[cachsux]

I wasn't going to respond to this, thinking, what a fool this person is for asking such a rude question. Then I thought about it all and figured I'd answer as honest as can be. After dinner we hugged, I kissed her on her cheek and we parted ways, both delighted at the time had by great friends. I then went home, kicked up my feet, relaxed on my couch with a big smile. I'm sorry to disappoint you and your fantasy, but SEX is not the end all of everything. It's very unfortunate that TV and the media teach us to live without boundaries. I WON'T live that way! I have boundaries for myself and teach my Children that there are boundaries. Thanks for commenting.

Maybe it's just the way you worded it when you said that her husband wasn't home. I know you well enough to know what you meant but even I had a " would I want a guy swinging by to have lunch or dinner with my wife alone?" thought go through my head. A good woman and a good man can be trusted but that doesn't stop that primal part of the brain from twitching when the mate of one of them contemplates it.

 

[jumpman23]

Life without kids PRICELESS lol

 

[IVE GOTTA PACKAGE 4U]

Life without kids PRICELESS lol

Life with kids................expensive.............but priceless.............wouldnt change a thing!

 

[jumpman23]

Word on the kids. 2 nieces n 2 nephews spoil them lil squirties lol. But can give them back lol

 

[Indecisi0n]

Well now that "the straights" have failed at marriage lets see how the gays handle it.

 

[anonymous6]

Well now that "the straights" have failed at marriage lets see how the gays handle it.

I still haven't heard back from ChristianMingle.com to see how God does in the selection process.........goddammit!

 

[ORLY!?!]

Well now that "the straights" have failed at marriage lets see how the gays handle it.

I really think, if it ever does become allowed, will end up in higher divorce rates then straights. The reason why, how flamboyant they are, as in the males, would end up in a quick divorce. I could be wrong, but thats how I see it.

 

[gingerkat]

I really think, if it ever does become allowed, will end up in higher divorce rates then straights. The reason why, how flamboyant they are, as in the males, would end up in a quick divorce. I could be wrong, but thats how I see it.

Maybe something is getting lost here because of lack of intonation, but are you this offensive in real life? I know that as humans we like to "generalize", but really? Lumping all gay males as flamboyant is ridiculous.

If all states would get on board, we could start making money with licensing fee's and divorce fee's. It should be the same for everyone. I say live and let live.