A real shame

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by Jones, May 21, 2009.

  1. Jones

    Jones fILE A GRIEVE! Staff Member

    A driver in my building killed himself last night. He had 28 years in, and was probably the last person on earth you would ever think would do something like this. I can't imagine what was going on in his head to make him think that was the only way out. He was a really great guy and a heck of a shop steward. A lot of us in the Dulles division are going to miss him.
  2. evilleace

    evilleace Member

    Rest in Peace
  3. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    I'm sorry you lost a friend and co-worker. It's hard for me to understand this kind of thing. I guess it isn't important that I do.
  4. Monkey Butt

    Monkey Butt You can call me Chappy Staff Member

    Sorry Jones.
    I had a similar experience when a co-worker of mine did the same thing.
    It devastated me for weeks.
    As in your case, I never saw it coming. As 555 said - it's not understandable ... but it is what it is.
    My prayers and thoughts go out to you and your friend's family.
  5. ajblakejr

    ajblakejr Age quod agis

    That is a hard one. I had a coworker hang himself 1/2002.

    It hit us hard. We spent the first month in shock. Then we spent the next few monthes examining all of our interactions with him.

    Our gut reaction was to honor him....then it hit us..you don't honor suicide. Our emotion became anger and how selfish our coworker was to his family.

    His five year old found him in the garage on a Sunday after church.

    As cruel has this sounds, but you may understand it some day....we wished he would have hung himself in the rear of his straight truck at work.

    Someone other than his son could have found him.

    Blessings to you and all your coworkers.
  6. Billy

    Billy New Member

    As sad as that is I have no respect for that at all. That is the most selfish act a human could do. I'd pray for his family and friends...and you if needed, but that's it. I also do not like that UPS lowered the flag to half staff on his behalf. I liked the guy fine, but we have hero's that went to war and died that did not get that respect. He doesn't deserve that...period.
  7. John19841

    John19841 Member

    The title of this thread is "A Real Shame" I think you're confusing respect and pity. Just because you feel sorry for someone, their family and that you don't know what to make of it, doesn't mean that the act garnered respect.
  8. dilligaf

    dilligaf IN VINO VERITAS

    Jones, I am so sorry for the loss of a brother and friend. My prayers to you and all invovled and to his family.
  9. Billy

    Billy New Member

    fair enough. it is a shame
  10. Livin the Dream?

    Livin the Dream? Disillusioned UPSer

  11. stevetheupsguy

    stevetheupsguy sʇǝʌǝʇɥǝndsƃnʎ

    Sometimes there are just no words to say................................I feel for you Jones.
  12. pudg00

    pudg00 pudg00

    Sorry to hear about your friend Jones. Witnessed a suicide in high school so I know how it feels. My prayers go out to all involved.
  13. Sammie

    Sammie Well-Known Member

    Nobody knows the pain your driver friend was going thru. If only he would have talked to someone. A high school friend also, a friend's fiance' and one of my co-workers -- same thing. Last people you would expect. Very sorry for your loss.
  14. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    There is no way to explain suicide. I had a cousin who did it and the way it devastated the family was intolerable.
    Im sorry for those who cared for him and those he left behind.
    Someone has to be in severe, unbearable pain, to inflict this kind of pain on those that loved him. Sometimes there are signs, those you can help. When there are no signs, no one is to blame.
    Rip and blessings to his family and friends.
  15. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    I used to feel the same way as you Billy, but I have learned a few things in the last couple of years that never occurred to me before. I'm willing to bet that like me, you have never had real depression. I'm not talking about being sad, or mad or unhappy. I'm mean really depressed. When someone becomes clinically depressed there is a chemical change in the brain that lowers the natural feelings of happiness and actually controls the brain to not allow anything but emotional lows. There are many other aspects of depression that I don't know or understand but they are real and the person inflicted has little control.
    One problem with clinical depression is it takes away all the energy one has to rationalize and see a way out of their troubles. Some would commit suicide but they don't even have enough energy to do it. Then sometimes they go on meds, get a little better and they gain the energy.
    Like I said, I USED to feel the same way you do.

    BLACKBOX Life is a Highway...

    As the old saying goes..."no one knows what goes on behind closed doors". UPS should offer counseling to anyone who wants it (or needs it). I cannot believe he left a five year old to bear with this..unforgivable.
  17. BrownBlue

    BrownBlue New Jack

    We had the same thing happen this last Sunday. Tragic, it was a quiet Monday, Tuesday. Really nice guy and with only 36 of us drivers we know each other fairly well. BTW UPS didn't miss a beat on hammering us. Guess it keeps your mind off it.
  18. bubsdad

    bubsdad "Hang in there!"

    It is a permanent solution for temporary problems. Whenever I hear of someone doing this I can't get a grip on it. Everyone knows the kind of pain it brings to the people involved and for this guy to do that to his son is unthinkable.
  19. Braveheart

    Braveheart New Member

    Blessings and prayers.
  20. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    I so understand what you are saying. Clinical depression is way different than being depressed over a depressing thing. I saw my sister, mother and brothers fight with it. Knock on wood, I didnt "get" it. I used to tell my sis, "go for a walk, get some exercise" not until later did I realize that only works for some types of depression, not all.
    There are good meds out there now, not so in my Moms era. The best life she had was when she got on one that worked with no side effects and then it was too late.
    People will take pills for their heart, their bp, their allergies, but its hard for people to seek help with the most important organ they have, and that is the brain. Im glad it is being recognized as years ago, mental health issues were a prison sentence.