OK, really starting to freak and worry, NOBODY to talk to

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by upsrwife, Mar 16, 2008.

  1. upsrwife

    upsrwife Member

    My husband leaves for Alabama in the morning. I can't tell you the amount of panic and worry I feel, you all would think I was so stupid and childish. It's so bad that last week my job sent me to the ER because my pulse was up to 125 resting and my BP was 150/105. all from stress over this situation. This is not just any job for my husband. It's something he loves. He has no furthur education to do anything else.
    He graduated HS, joined the military, had an honorable discharge and immediately joined UPS part time carwash and has worked his way up to full time driver AT the $28/hr rate (just last week) over the past 8 years. He loves UPS, loves wearing the brown, loves driving the truck, loves working the long hours. He doesn't drink, smoke, goes to church and is a wonderful father. He doesn't even curse. You all say there is probably more to the story about his UPS firing, but there really is not. He has only been written up twice, once for getting stuck in the dirt, once for scratching the truck with a tree branch. The story I gave is exactly as it is. I have talked to his friends at work and the Union Local president and it is as it is. They even said it really looks like the center manager just doesn't like him and is out to get him. I'm at my wits end. we recently took out some loans and made plans. Don't these people know they are screwing with good peoples lives and livelyhood. I have NEVER been so scared in my life! NEVER. All the bad dudes I deal with at work, all the crappy things I put up with, nothing compares to the stress of this situation. At the hands of a creep who hates my husband. I keep hearing the union tell us "they feel confident", and all his driver friends "suprised" it went this far. but it doesn't change my worry. I barely sleep. I'm nasty to everyone over this. It has completely taken over our lives. My husband is devestated. All he wants to do is drive for UPS. Tuesday is the hearing, i'm terrified. his job, this company is everything to us. He was and still wants to be a proud UPS driver. Thank you all for all your support. I don't know what I would have done without you. Please pray for us.
  2. paidslave

    paidslave New Member

    You need to take care of yourself first.....If you die of a heart attack they win.....

    I can almost certainly guarantee things will be fine.

    Ups always is known for firing in the early part of the year when they have extra drivers.

    Relax and I have a strong feeling things will be just fine!

    You say they don't they care and they really really don't. I bet you and your husband probably doesn't care about him either or just as little....
  3. dannyboy

    dannyboy From the promised LAND

    First off, the stress that you are feeling is normal for what you are going through. But you have to learn how to cope with it, and how to deal with the stress and fright.

    HAving been to several meetings such as your husband is going to, that can be very hard on your marrage as well. So you really need to be there for each other, now more than ever.

    I could paint you roses like Paid, but going to a hearing is never ever cut and dry stuff. Things happen to even the best cases. And sometimes, those that I would have bet are dead cases walking, actually get won.

    Best thing to do is keep the faith, and make sure you hubby communicates with you as soon as he knows. And if you have family or a close friend, have them sit with you while you wait.

    The stress of losing a job(or having the job threatened), is very much as stressful as the death of a loved one.

    You are in my prayers!

  4. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    It is a great company, but sometimes things about it are not great. As in any company, all employees are not perfect, hourly as well as management.
    When your husband gets back, and most on here feel he will, he needs to remember that if this guy truly has it out for him, mgmt rarely stays more than two years. Ive had ones who disliked me, and ones who adored me. I never understood the reason for either feeling. Its just life at work. The ones who dislike you for whatever reason, will soon be gone and you can outlast them.
    As paidslave said
    "You need to take care of yourself first.....If you die of a heart attack they win.....

    I can almost certainly guarantee things will be fine."

    Easy for us to say, but you cant help him if you get sick. Stress kills.
    You have a family, and you have faith. No matter what happens you will be fine. If he doesnt get back, you will find a way, but for now, it could be over Tuesday, and possibly all your strife will do none of you any good, and most likely will have taken days away from your life, and hours off of your heart.
    So take some time to relax, have a cup of coffee, put up your feet, say prayers, and get your head clear. Be strong on the phone with your husband, he needs that as right now the weight of your family needing him to have a job, is hurting him also. You need to be a rock, for him. He needs to go to his hearing with his head held high, and with confidence. He cant do that if he is feeling that to lose would be the end of the world. If he does its only the end as you knew it.

    Take care of yourself, the kids, and have faith. I think you will be fine. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
  5. upsrwife

    upsrwife Member

    Thanks guys for being there. I can't wait for this to be over. Come to think of it, this mgr has been there for about 2 years, so i hope it's over soon. Hey, I think the Union told me, after the hearing tuesday, they don't know anything then, he finds out the end of the week, does that sound right?
  6. dannyboy

    dannyboy From the promised LAND

    When ever I went, you knew that day, not at the end of the week. Sounds like something different than what is usually done.

    I would get clarification.

    By the way, worst case senario, there really is life after brown. Its a change, and like any other changes in your life, you can handle it as it comes.

  7. trplnkl

    trplnkl 555

    Wife think of it this way, there are way more people in the world that don't work for UPS than do. Believe me I do understand the stress you are going through and wish I could do something to take that away.
    I try to remember that stress is the ultimate stage of worrying, to worry about something you can not effect just adds to that stress. I know, easier said than done.
    I sounds from your posts that your family are believers and have a strong faith. Put this in Gods hands, deal with the outcome, WHEN there is an outcome. He will give you strength.
  8. over9five

    over9five Senior Member Staff Member

    "Don't these people know they are screwing with good peoples lives and livelyhood."

    Your husbands been here 8 years, I'm sure he knows that!

    There are other jobs. I think you should prepare yourself in your head. Start thinking that this could be the end of UPS for you. JUST IN CASE it all goes bad, it's good to already have the mindset that he'll have to find a new job.

    I REALLY hope hubby keeps his job, but PLEASE remember it won't be the end of life if he loses it. UPS tries to make you believe that this is the best, highest paying job you could ever have. It's not true. There ARE other, better jobs out there.

    Good luck, and let us know what happens.
  9. upsrwife

    upsrwife Member

    It sounds like most of the people on here thinking there is little chance, it's hard to think ahead right now when I know how much he loves this job. how depressing.

    thanks again for your help
  10. trickpony1

    trickpony1 Well-Known Member

    I think your husband has a good chance of getting his job back....probably without backpay.
    I think the company just wants to teach him a lesson and make an example out of him. The company enjoys watching people squirm.

    Think about it:
    The company invests large sums of money training PC drivers. It is to the advantage of the company to retain productive, self-directed, low maintainence, experienced employees such as your husband.
    The nature of the job and the exposure to the infinite variables, some of which can't be controlled, precludes an accident/incident free work environment.
    The company knows there will be accidents. If we all stay home the packages won't get delivered.
    You and your husband are in my prayers. I know exactly what you are going through.
    Please keep us updated.
  11. diesel96

    diesel96 New Member

    You need to relax, take a valium and mix a strong drink UPSrwife, or if you don't go that route take up yoga or Tai Chai. Your negative energy may spill over towards your man and the forces he's up against. You've read and evaluated most of the positive post reguarding your concerns yet you continue your spin on a worst case scenario. So let your Husband deal with his demons without adding any extra negative stress or pressure. If you love him you'll stand by his side thru this ordeal no matter the outcome and let him know. If you need to talk to someone try a Shrink, Priest, Rabbi,or Brown Cafe, just leave your man alone or just channel positive energy thru his veins without raising HIS bloodpressure and stress levels such as you did to yourself.

  12. Fnix

    Fnix Active Member

    Are you stressing from your job as well or if you dont work are you stressing because you cant pay the bills?
  13. upsrwife

    upsrwife Member

    I'm not even around my husband right now, he took his mom with him and drove to alabama for the hearing. I have little kids at home. He should be fine. but i know he is even more worried than me just because of the love of his job.
  14. Jones

    Jones fILE A GRIEVE! Staff Member

    Going on just what you have posted about his job history, there is no way in the world that he won't get his job back. From what you're saying, he has had exactly one accident (no matter what anyone tells you getting stuck is not an accident unless there was property damage, and neither is having a tree branch scrape the side of the truck). All they want is to hear him admit he was wrong and that he didn't follow the proper methods and that he has learned from his mistake.

    Having said that though, there's really nothing anyone can say to make you feel better when it's your job on the line. In the back of your mind there's probably a little voice telling you that maybe you're going to be the one who gets made an example of. I highly doubt it though.
  15. Bad Gas!

    Bad Gas! Active Member

    Good luck UPS wife! ......From what I hear..sometimes the union and mgt trade out people.Since your husband has a good record that works good for him either way.I think they know he's ready to come back and be a model employee.I would think the company would want an employee that's an asset to the company...I pray that your nightmare is over soon!.....Gas
  16. dannyboy

    dannyboy From the promised LAND


    First off, I am not negative about the chances of him getting his job back, I am a realist.

    If I were a betting man, I would bet like trick said, the job he will get back, but without back pay. And if they offer that, he needs to jump all over it. That being said, I still think if the information was correct, they really need to put him back with pay.

    But there is always the wild card at hearings. I dont ever count a win, no matter how good I feel about it. Its just my nature.

    But something 9.5 said is very true. There are a lot of jobs out there that do pay well. Might not be something the Hubby loves like UPS, but he has a wife and children to think about. And as such, he really needs to think about that seriously.

    But anyway, tomorrow should be the day. I have seen things like this get postponed to the next hearing though. So hopefully tomorrow will be the end of it. For as much as he loves his UPS job, I really do hope and pray he gets it back.

  17. I don't get it. A couple of minor accidents like getting stuck in the dirt and getting contact with a tree branch are not "fire-able" offenses at all! If you are stressing as much as you say you are there has to be more to this story.
  18. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    In her defense, no there does not have to be more to it.
    I saw a guy get fired for someone saying he swore! The owners of the business happened to find out and all holds barred, said he had served them for years, was always pleasant and the call did not come from them! Guilty until proven innocent.
    He was back in days, I do not know about the pay. He is the cleanest, most respectable guy you could ever meet. I personally think the center manager at the time was jealous of his looks, demeanor, whatever.
    It could be a bad manager, it could be there is more. But at this time I cant make a judgement, other than what I have heard/read.
    Of course she is worried, they have a family, and at this juncture, they cant see the future.
    I would be worried if I lost my job, although at this point in my life, I dont have a family, I could be a wal mart greeter and make it. If I had the weight of the world on my/his shoulders, Id be freaking too.
    Lets just support our brother, and if he loses, keep supporting them. Until we learn as someone will, if there is more, we will know.
    For as much dismay at the company as I have seen from some, myself included, I cant say there is more. Until I do, I support them.
  19. ExupserNaples

    ExupserNaples New Member

    I can not believe (all) these posts are getting so much attention. If your husband does lose his job, go on and forget it. In my 18 years I never saw 1 person fired unjustly that did not get their job back. I still wonder why the husband has not had the stones to ask these questions himself.
  20. toonertoo

    toonertoo Most Awesome Dog Staff Member

    exupsernaples, men do not for the most part, search for info. Especially about such a troubling subject.
    Women do, its our job.
    She said he knew she was asking, you might not believe it but there are some men, who do not use a pc at all.
    Give them a break.
    If it was my hubby, I would be doing it too.