One liners, short jokes, funny sayings, puns, etal
- Thread starter moreluck
- Start date
moreluck
golden ticket member
Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!"
"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom. "WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.
After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!!!"
"IMPOSSIBLE !!" said the groom broom. "WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!"
moreluck
golden ticket member
A man went to his lawyer and said "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it."
The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me".
The man looks somewhat upset ... "Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children too!
The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me".
The man looks somewhat upset ... "Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I'd like to leave a little to my children too!
moreluck
golden ticket member
Business One-liners .....
Johnson's Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization.
Kramer's Law: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Larkinson's Law: All laws are basically false.
Law Of The Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
Robert E. Lee's Truce: Judgement comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgement.
Johnson's Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere within the organization.
Kramer's Law: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Larkinson's Law: All laws are basically false.
Law Of The Perversity of Nature: You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
Robert E. Lee's Truce: Judgement comes from experience; experience comes from poor judgement.
moreluck
golden ticket member
A Collection Of Insults
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
You are master in your own house -- the doghouse!
When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.
Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?
I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.
Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
Some day you will find yourself -- and wish that you hadn't.
People clap when they see you -- their hands over their eyes or ears.
Whatever is eating you -- must be suffering horribly.
You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can't count that high.
You are master in your own house -- the doghouse!
When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure.
You make me believe in reincarnation. Nobody can be as stupid as you in one lifetime.
Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?
I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the gorilla.
Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
Some day you will find yourself -- and wish that you hadn't.
People clap when they see you -- their hands over their eyes or ears.
Whatever is eating you -- must be suffering horribly.
moreluck
golden ticket member
A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased. He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "QUEEN SIZE".
He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look Granny, YOU wear the same size as our bed!"
He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "Look Granny, YOU wear the same size as our bed!"
Future
Victory Ride
Similar threads
