Things said in front of customers.

Discussion in 'UPS Discussions' started by Brownslave688, Oct 5, 2014.

  1. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    So my best friend is a beer delivery driver he told me a story about one of their drivers that got me to thinking. What have you said in front of customers that either embarrassed you or you knew immediately was a no no?

    I'll tell you the story about the beer guy for a few laughs. This guys calls his beer soldiers for some reason and every time he drops a beer or case he yells soldier down. Well he delivers to the local VFW and I guess dropped some beer one day around lunch when it was packed.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  2. retiredTxfeeder

    retiredTxfeeder cap'n crunch

    I asked a female customer once when she was due to have her baby and she informed me icily that she wasn't pregnant. I could have crawled out *under* the door. I'll never do that again. Ever.
     
    • Agree x 3
    • Funny x 1
    • Winner x 1
    • Friendly x 1
    • Derail x 1
    • List
  3. retiredTxfeeder

    retiredTxfeeder cap'n crunch

    One more. I had a residential for a regular customer. I probably came by her house once a week for maybe 5 years, so they knew me. I rang the doorbell, and while I was waiting, a wasp went up my pants leg and started stinging me all the way up to the nether region. She opened the door and I was a dancing. I shouted "There's something stinging me and I'm coming out of these pants. I can either do it here on your porch and give your neighbors something to talk about, or you can let me use your bathroom. Decide quickly, please." She stepped back and hollered "down the hall, first door on the right." We laughed about that for years afterward.
     
    • Like Like x 14
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  4. upsbeernut

    upsbeernut Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes i dont.

    Good human story loved it!
     
  5. Cementups

    Cementups Box Monkey

    Pretty much 80% of what comes out of my mouth would make a lot of you cringe sp I think it's best I keep most of it to myself here.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    • List
  6. upsbeernut

    upsbeernut Sometimes I feel like a nut, sometimes i dont.

    Come on don't keep us in suspense, you go first and I will match it. Go ahead.
     
  7. aiian

    aiian Active Member

    I got pulled off of a route once for muttering "That's what she said." after a woman commented on how a package was bigger than she expected.

    Though I've dropped the line many, many times.
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Useful Useful x 1
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
    • List
  8. TooTechie

    TooTechie Geek in Brown

    I dropped the F bomb after I got bit by a dog. "What the F?!?!" towards the owner of the dog who dropped the leash on the grass to intentionally let the dog come at me.

    Told our female security guard in the guard shack I liked how she inappropriately searched me.

    That's all that comes to mind at the moment.
     
  9. Brownslave688

    Brownslave688 You want a toe? I can get you a toe.

    Lol we had a driver yell at a lady "I'll kill your F'ng dog" while running away from it.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • List
  10. ZQXC

    ZQXC Guest

    It works both ways. I've got one female customer at a business
    that will drop a "That's what she said" on you in a heartbeat. She routinely shocks some of my younger cover drivers.
     
  11. rod

    rod retired and happy


    Similar story here. I once had a lady screaming at me to not hurt her dog after it had already bit me and was coming back for round two. I screamed back at her "hell I ain't going to hurt it-I'm going to F'in kill it". I didn't kill it but she had to come out to my truck from that day forward to get her stuff--rain-snow-20 below--I didn't care.
     
  12. ZQXC

    ZQXC Guest

    If someone asks me "Do I need to sign?" and they don't, I always reply "No, you're fine."

    If it's a pretty lady, I will also include a slight smile.
     
  13. MC4YOU2

    MC4YOU2 Yep, not wearing brown anymore

    I had a place where two dogs would always slam into the front door when I dr'd the front porch. One day the lady pops open the door and they rush out and freeze on either side of me. The hubby screams to the dogs to "get the fk back in the house!!"...and they do!
    Months later I'm coming into their getting yard and the toddler opens the door. Their bully mix goes low and fast like a missile off the porch and so I just repeat the same line..."get the fk back in the house!" like in the most serious drill sergeant voice, and he did! They have since moved.
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Winner Winner x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • List
  14. joeboodog

    joeboodog good people drink good beer

    I always wait until she or one of her co-workers says she's pregnant. Avoids an embarrassing "oh crap" moment.
     
  15. When are you due?......um Im not!...oops.
     
  16. PASinterference

    PASinterference Yes, I know I'm working late.

    As I am leaving,some of my customers say " you have a good one" I say "Thank you for noticing".
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • List
  17. UpstateNYUPSer

    UpstateNYUPSer Very proud grandfather.

    I have done this one as well with the same result.
     
  18. oldngray

    oldngray nowhere special

    One time on Halloween I was delivering to a house and as the mom was signing I saw her daughter behind her and commented about her already having her costume on. I didn't realize that was how she really looked because she had facial surgeries. I felt like total crap after that.
     
  19. Turdferguson

    Turdferguson Guest

    A couple of years ago Direct T.V had a commercial about if you have cable you get upset , accidents happen when you get upset, and you end up with a eye patch, and when you get a eye patch people think you are tough, and when people think you are tough they want to know how tough and you end up in a ditch.
    I had a Chiropractor on my route at the time who had an eye patch on one day , and I said to him " You better watch out someone gonna think you're tough and you'll end up in a ditch." He started dying laughing about it, but when I told the receptionist about it at the insurance office that was upstairs from his office. She told me he had a brain tumor and had just had surgery and lost his eye. I felt pretty bad about that one afterwards, but the Chiropractor would start laughing every time afterwards when he saw me
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • List
  20. Wally

    Wally Hailing from Parts Unknown.

    A little kid at the door. I say, "what's her name"? The mother gets huffy and informs me that the kid is a boy! "Sorry", I say. The kid really looked like a girl. A few days later when I went to the house the kid had a haircut and looked normal. I said nothing.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 2
    • List