UPS Driver commits suicide

[toonertoo]

Skidmarks wife, we all feel your pain even if we did not know him personally. Of course no way could it be so deep but we are here for you.
This site has been my savior through difficult times, the people here really care. You may never know them but many a night I have hit the ole refresh button myself, sometimes its the best medicine just to know that out there somewhere, someone cares. Sleep well, every day will get a little better.

 

[skid mark]

There was little warning. He always had problems at UPS with the Center Manager. Other UPS drivers have verified this. Jim never hesitated to file grievances and was outspoken and the supervisors did not like this. He was fired on Friday November 14 and didn't say anything. He had had a cold and was taking some cold medicine. We spent the whole weekend together, as normal just doing things together. Friday night after work, I took a bath and he sat in and talked to me. Saturday, we watched Catch 22, went to Krogers to shop for Managers Specials and the only thing on Saturday that was out of the ordinary was when we were leaving Krogers he asked if I minded if we went to see his parents because he wanted them to see how happy we are. We went made Thanksgiving plans and everything. On Sunday we watched another movie, took my daughter and her boyfriend bowling and out to eat. We played Scrabble that night, which was unusual because he didn't like board games. I asked him why he wanted to play, he said because he knows I like to play it. I just thought, "Oh, How sweet." Afterwards, we sat on the couch and talked. He told me during our talk that I was such an independent women. It was a very nice weekend. He did at one point ask me on Saturday if we ever got the life insurance paperwork sent in to change the beneficiary. I replied, "Yes, we did it right after we were married" and asked why he was asking about this now? He said you know you get things that run through your head and just thought about it. He also ate little this weekend but blamed it on the cold. He covered very good. Looking back of course I question myself and these small things but at the time the signs did not point to anything seriously being wrong.

On Friday morning the 14th I found out that the center manager loaded Jim with 9-13 airshipments and then followed him. They stopped him at some point and had him to go back to the center where the district manager was waiting and fired him. He laid into Jim really hard. I was told he is feeling guilty about things that were said. Jim talked to the union guy on Monday morning the 17th, and the last thing Jim said to him is "They will get you if they want you!" This is the last words Jim said to anyone.

It kills me to think that Jim was thinking about this the whole weekend and was unable to talk to me.

 

[dannyboy]

Janice

i find my self with so much to say, but yet nothing comes that will help ease your pain.

know that God will help you through this tough time, and that you are loved like family here.

just wished you could have posted under better circumstances.

d

 

[toonertoo]

Its not your fault, men are wired differently. Dont blame yourself coz you didnt know, ever. They hide things so well. Most come out in unexpected outbursts. He was not that way, I guess. He didnt want to see you stressed. Its so sad hang in there.

 

[skid mark]

toonertoo, Is that your dog in your picture? Jim has a dog just like that his name is Ruger. I am probably going to have to give him away. Jim didn't leave a will and the house is in his and his ex-wife's name. It is going to have to go to probate, which is fine because I moved to Paris TN only for him. I will be moving back to Clarksville where I am from. Right now waiting on the death certificate, and waiting for my appointment to talk to the lawyer I feel like I am in Limbo and don't belong anywhere. I hate being in limbo. I gave up everything for Jim. I gave up my job of 5 years, I moved, I changed churches, I uprooted the kids, I gave away all my furniture and moved to Paris Tn all for Jim. I still can't believe after all that Jim would leave me.

 

[toonertoo]

Yes thats my dog. I just got her 2 wks ago. Her name is Blue. She is a white doby which I thought was rare, but it seems to be a genetic mistake, an albino, but I love her, shes a keeper.
I dont know what to say. I dont know why people do the things they do, and leave everyone else to wonder. I know you loved him, it sounds like a wonderful love story, and Im mad he did it to you. Once you get past the grief, you will be mad too. And then you will cherish all the wonderful moments you had. All those stages to go through, and all are necessary for your recovery. You are the one who needs attention now. God Bless you and please keep us informed on your progress. After what you have been through, replacing furniture etc will be a walk in the park. You will survive.

 

[dannyboy]

Janice

i hate to tell you this, but it seems you are really royally screwed. by your last post, it sounds like you really need to get a good lawyer fast.

and even with one, it sounds like you have more than the tragedy of loss of your best friend and husband. by the looks of it, life is gonna dump on you even more.

you have my number.

d

 

[browndevil]

Janice, thank you for posting the pictures it was important to me to look in his eyes. I read his "about me" page he seemed like Jimi enjoyed reading. To Kill a Mockingbird a true classic and a wonderful and powerful message in that book. Weeds, what a hilarious show, well written and clever. I think Jimi and I would have been friends if we ever met. RIP Jimi and look after your wife and family in the hereafter.
Janice come visit us often.

 

[Overpaid Union Thug]

Sorry about your loss. I work out of a center in the middle Tennessee area. I've heard plenty of things (good and bad) about the center manager there in Paris, Tn. I've worked in three different buildings in the area so the whole "5 degrees of separation" thing really comes into play here. I've never met him but I've heard more than several people talk about him. He's quite a character. How do I know this for sure? Well, let's just say I've dealt with Paris drivers before and we'll leave it at that. Not a terrible guy to work for but can be a thorn in one's side if crossed. I did hear that he had a bull's eye on your husband and knowing much about how his people skills seem to disappear sometimes I'd have to say that he probably did a thorough job of making your husband feel about an inch tall as he was firing him. I'm sure he feels pretty bad for it at this point. It is something he'll have to live with. It'll probably haunt him for years.

 

[rocket man]

R I P.

 

[BLACKBOX]

Your loss is our loss also.

 

[scratch]

Janice, my heartfelt condolences for your loss. And its a sad day for the rest of us when we lose another fellow worker. Time is a great healer like others have mentioned. Try to remember the good times you had, and do not blame yourself for not knowing your husband was suicidal. Us men are so good at hiding our true emotions, we like to keep them bottled up inside us. May God bless you and your children, I wish you the best in your time of great sorrow.

 

[drewed]

My thoughts and prayers are with you also.

Good job UPS!
Let's see, channahon knows of 3.
I believe a Tulsa feeder driver took his life within the last year and then there is Jimi.
That makes 5.
And these are just the ones we know about.........
How many more is it gonna take before people realize what's going on?

.

Calm down spanky, UPS has 400,000+ employees its bound to happen in those numbers, there are 89 suicides a day some of those are bound to UPSers if anything it maybe below the national average.....

On the serious note my condolences to you and yours Mrs. Barnett

 

[dilligaf]

Janice

i hate to tell you this, but it seems you are really royally screwed. by your last post, it sounds like you really need to get a good lawyer fast.

and even with one, it sounds like you have more than the tragedy of loss of your best friend and husband. by the looks of it, life is gonna dump on you even more.

you have my number.

d

Daniel, ever the life saver! I swear Cathy I don't know how you put up with him. I bet he's the one that always brings home the strays, huh. I mean that in a good way, I promise.

Janice, if you ever need anyone to talk to Daniel is the one. I say that from experience.

 

[drewed]

Side question kinda off subject kinds of on too,how would his pension work in this situation?
.....And check your life insurance policy, some policy have it set up if its declared a suicide the policy is voided.

 

[Porkman]

WOW DREWED DROPIN THE SHANK? HAVE SOME COMPASSION SHE WILL GET TO IT ALL IN TIME!! ( TIME HEELS THE PAIN BUT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET THE MAN HE WAS...) sorry for your loss try to be strong for the children they will need help to try to understand why this happened and you will too. dont be afraid to reach out!!!

 

[drewed]

Sorry, I was reading through the first couple pages and it mentioned something about life issurance policies, just thought Id throw that out there.

 

[tieguy]

My thoughts and prayers are with you also.

Good job UPS!
Let's see, channahon knows of 3.
I believe a Tulsa feeder driver took his life within the last year and then there is Jimi.
That makes 5.
And these are just the ones we know about.........
How many more is it gonna take before people realize what's going on?

I would post what I hope happens to the management folks responsible for this but it might offend the "wine and roses" crowd.
You might seek the advice of an attorney (the union damn sure isn't gonna help you here)

Remeber the good times you had with your husband. Sometimes memories are the only thing we can rely on.

I think Jim Casey said, "people are the company's greatest asset".

Trick I understand your point but I'm not sure this is the time and way to make that point.

Ma'am I'm sorry to see your loss but I am ( I hope to I use the right words) happy to see you celebrate his life. I apologize If I distract the thread but I would like to share a little story to explain what I mean.

I knew a great upser who was as brown blooded as they come and a credit to upsers in the ups family every where. He was a hard worker in everything he did with a lot of that time in package. At one point he had bid back into our hub. He was standing on the rear of a trailer when a shifter mistakenly pulled the trailer off the door with him standing on the end of it. He ended up falling out of the trailer and breaking his hip. End result he was never the same afterwards and walked with a limp. the company and union got together and created a special job for him in the feeder carwash where he finished up his years at UPS. Even there in an easier job he was still a hard worker who took care of things we needed beyond his normal responsibilities. My father always told me that no matter what you do in life even if you are a ditch digger be the best ditch digger you can be. This guy lived that example for me.

Back in the late 90's he was lucky enough to invest in some ocean property that over the years appreciated rapidly and made him a millionaire. When he retired last year we took him out to lunch and wished him well thinking he was all set up to have a great retirement. Unfortunately he took his life about four months later. The mental depression that caused him to do so is every bit a real disease just as any of the more common physical diseases we see. I went to his funeral and was upset to see his wife give him the quickie I am embarassed he took his life lets get it done funeral. I don't know if I cried more for the loss of his life or for the way he was short changed on his departure. I have personally seen how mental depression can affect family members and recognize the condition for being the devastating disease it can be. I am therefore very appreciative that you have taken the time to share his memory with us. I can't explain what happened with his job at UPS and I would never for a minute even think to defend it. I can only say I am sincerely sorry that it happened and I have spent a career trying to clean up some of the bad attitudes and hard feelings that others in my profession have created over the years. This does not mean that I am a saint in any way and I know that I have made my mistakes but I do try to do some soul searching and learn from them. Jim Caseys philosophy on how you treat your people has been a higher plane I have tried to reach and admitedly failed to reach on any kind of consistent basis.I am sincerely so sorry that this has happened to you in your life and wish there is some way we could have done better for him and for you.

I apologize if I have in any way distracted this thread. May god bless you and keep you strong through these trying times.

WWDS

 

[trplnkl]

I apologize if I have in any way distracted this thread. May god bless you and keep you strong through these trying times.

WWDS

Oh Tie, Tie, Tie......you brought this thread back to what it should be.
A huge thanks to you for doing so..

 

[old levi's]

Dear Janice, I'm certain that any words of mine would be woefully inadequate at this time, so instead I offer these:


The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
Psalm 9 : 9


I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
John 16 : 33


Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
John 14 : 27