I have a brother who feels the way you do. So much so he's on a Secret Service list. And has flown to New York to attend anarchist meetings. He was the Federal Prison chaplin who handled Timothy McVeigh and Terry whatshisname. And went to Joliet to protest McVeigh's execution because he's against all killing. Went vegan to not harm animals. And I could go on. I pointed out once that at the moment people get together to decide how they educate their children they have gov't. You can't escape it. And contrary to what many believe most right wingers don't want war. We just believe the world's a safer place through strength and someone must step up to protect the weak.
You've yet to figure out the difference between the State and a self organizing institution. Once there myself. The State requires compliance and thus force becomes a necessity as the State become the principle purpose and not the people themselves. The people are sacrificed if need be to insure the State itself prevails and continues no matter what. Debt to the unborn 3 generations out is a good example of this.
A self organizing institution is voluntary and exists as a community function to support a mutual aid. The people are the ultimate purpose and such institution serve the needs of the people as a community. The State does not do this but compells the people into service to the State.
Human self organizing institutions exist as a voluntary expression of community and not a dogmatic compulsory arm for the purpose of some orthodox nationalism. Such don't need flags, pledges or other symbols for public loyalty displays nor is some public profession necessary to prove ones devotion. Quite often just the opposite. Maybe this is another reason our founding fathers never saw fit to create pledges or national anthems for patriotic demonstrations. It was more about the local, people and place and not so much the national. This would come later.
This is exactly why I see no real difference between people of the left and people on the right. Their idea of organizing are compelled by force and not by voluntary choice.
As for your brother, anarchy literally means no ruler and thus by its nature most anarchists are not alike but may share a few common traits. McVeigh for example was created by the Military State and then one of its own dogs turned around and bit the owner on the hand. I have no interest in getting in the middle of that. As for meat, I still enjoy a good steak but I also realize some arguments by so-called vegans about animal treatment are not without some merit.
In the case of right wingers and war, when right wingers are out of the way, the warfare state of the left comes shining through, Obama's 8 years are solid proof of that. The murdering bitch Hillary would have been even worse. Seems Trump is fast becoming a disappointment but I also understand the difference between the office and the man. Some of that may be true of Obama but in the case of Hillary I truly believe she is a blood thirsty psychopath. A true neo-con at heart.
The so-called political left of the 20th century has been the leader in war but the so-called right has been more than happy to go along and created their own agenda within the Warfare State to suit their own political structures.
Anarchists among others on the radical liberty side of life tend to see so called politics if you will as horizontal meaning wide spread, decentralized, self organizing, grass roots, even mutually beneficial as opposed to Statism politics that is vertical or dominated by topdown structures that abhor widespread individualism of a liberty kind but demand narrowed obedience and compliance to collective wills. Thus I see the political right and political left as collectivists in their own right. Only the rhetoric differs but the outcome to human liberty the same.